The Case for Early Marriage.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by OOWITI

which research?

Mine is not yet out. But read this one here for now.


Old men chasing young women

It turns out that older men chasing younger women contributes to human longevity and the survival of the species, according to new findings by researchers at Stanford and the University of California-Santa Barbara.

[Ndigila2]

Originally Posted by Dem Gal

However, I will say this for sure, if I had got married at 21, I would never have discovered 'myself' and the things that I love and value that make me uniquely me.

This does make the author's point of marriage being a formative institution.

People who fully establish their identity before marriage (career and personality) are setting themselves up in a position in which they'd have to compromise more when they get married. So they're less likely to stick around when things get tough, especially if their career was fully established before marriage. But those who marry young are more likely to form their identity around the marriage, which may be a better idea because ideally, you should spend majority of your life married (if you're eventually going to go down that road).

But alas, we don't live in an ideal world.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Ndigila2

People who fully establish their identity before marriage (career and personality) are setting themselves up in a position in which they'd have to compromise more when they get married.

Good logic.

But those who marry young are more likely to form their identity around the marriage, which may be a better idea because ideally, you should spend majority of your life married (if you're eventually going to go down that road).

I'll use this one.

[Dem Gal]

Originally Posted by Ndigila2

This does make the author's point of marriage being a formative institution.

People who fully establish their identity before marriage (career and personality) are setting themselves up in a position in which they'd have to compromise more when they get married. So they're less likely to stick around when things get tough, especially if their career was fully established before marriage. But those who marry young are more likely to form their identity around the marriage, which may be a better idea because ideally, you should spend majority of your life married (if you're eventually going to go down that road).

But alas, we don't live in an ideal world.

What you've said is correct, contextually. That doesn't necessarily make it right.

Dr. Myles Monroe, a motivation speaker and one of the most inspirational person I know tackles the whole issue of singleness Vs Marriage very brilliantly in several of his books including; "Single, Married, Separated, and Life After Divorce", "The Purpose and Power of Love & Marriage" etc. To condense his views, he's eloquently explained why marriage is supposed to be for 2 'whole' people, not 2 people trying to be 1 'whole'. Essentially you need to discover your identity BEFORE you get married, not AFTER. We are all uniquely created and have unique purposes in life that we need to find individually. No one can help you do that except yourself.

[Ndigila2]

Originally Posted by Dem Gal

Dr. Myles Monroe, a motivation speaker and one of the most inspirational person I know tackles the whole issue of singleness Vs Marriage very brilliantly in several of his books including; "Single, Married, Separated, and Life After Divorce", "The Purpose and Power of Love & Marriage" etc.

St John Chrysostom, one of the most inspirational people I know tackles the whole issue of singleness vs marriage very brilliantly in several of his homilies.

Originally Posted by Dem Gal

Essentially you need to discover your identity BEFORE you get married, not AFTER. We are all uniquely created and have unique purposes in life that we need to find individually.

Well, we are uniquely created. But at the same time, the Creator said that "the two become one flesh." Speaking from this perspective, marriage is more than just two people signing a lifetime contract to live together, rather it's a human personification of a divine energy.

There's one case where the two individuals start from scratch and build one solid union together. There's the other case where the individual builds his/her identity independently and tries to complement it with another one. In the former, the best-case scenario results in a very solid bond. In the latter, the best-case scenario is that the two identities complement each other to form one composite identity, but I'd still argue that the former has a stronger union.

Another thing is that modern-day society is very narcissistic. Modern society holds the unconstrained optimization of the individual's will as the highest good, (i.e. I can do whatever I want as long as I'm not hurting anybody). This completely contradicts the self-denial, self-sacrificial nature that marriage entails. So the longer you delay marriage in such a society, the more this individualistic consciousness builds up in your system.

[KEMINOKANA]

Originally Posted by Ndigila2

This does make the author's point of marriage being a formative institution.

People who fully establish their identity before marriage (career and personality) are setting themselves up in a position in which they'd have to compromise more when they get married. So they're less likely to stick around when things get tough, especially if their career was fully established before marriage. But those who marry young are more likely to form their identity around the marriage, which may be a better idea because ideally, you should spend majority of your life married (if you're eventually going to go down that road).

But alas, we don't live in an ideal world.

You took the words out of my fingers.

[KEMINOKANA]

Originally Posted by Dem Gal

What you've said is correct, contextually. That doesn't necessarily make it right.

Dr. Myles Monroe, a motivation speaker and one of the most inspirational person I know tackles the whole issue of singleness Vs Marriage very brilliantly in several of his books including; "Single, Married, Separated, and Life After Divorce", "The Purpose and Power of Love & Marriage" etc. To condense his views, he's eloquently explained why marriage is supposed to be for 2 'whole' people, not 2 people trying to be 1 'whole'. Essentially you need to discover your identity BEFORE you get married, not AFTER. We are all uniquely created and have unique purposes in life that we need to find individually. No one can help you do that except yourself.

You are assuming that people who marry early cant discover themselves?

[KEMINOKANA]

Originally Posted by Ndigila2

)

In the latter, the best-case scenario is that the two identities complement each other to form one composite identity,

Or much harder to find that person because we are all now supposedly all rounded thus more narcissistic.