[Black pearl]

[quote=nyira;687195]True!!

One day a woman walked furious into the office of a Psychiatrist and confessed that she hated her husband and wanted to divorce him.besides that she said,"I want to do the greatest harm possible."
"If that is the case,I recommed for you to annoy him with all kinds of attention and love.And when you become indispensable to him and he thinks you love him deeply,then ask him for the divorce.This will definately be the greatest way to harm him,"the doctor advised her.

Months later she came back to the doctor to tell him she followed the advice to the letter."well good,I'm glad,now is the time to divorce your husband." "Divorce?" she screamed,"No way! I'm more in love now than ever."



Nyce...illustartion.

Stayng single or getting married is a choice. Nothing wrong with any of the choices. Only if you decide to et married make sure you are commited to g the whole hog.

Problem with our generation is that we are saving up for weddings which take onlya day and invest very little into preparing ourselves for marraige- and marraige should last a lifetime.

For the examples above I think the first dude thinks that ndogondogo pendaz him but she pendaz his cash. As for the second couple I think walivumuiliana mpaka watoi wakagrow just for the kidz sake. That marraige was probably over kitambo. Atleast zamani couples tried to work things out. This days guyz( both chicks and dudes ) start dogging each other two weeks after the wedo. Try asking married guys how many of them still have their ex's no's or chat or enmail their ex bila their wife's knowledge? Same applies to chicks.

[Sanaa-]

Black Pearl, nice to see you.

----


You know whats ironic? Is that the same people who are quick to dismiss Marriages are the same ones who passionately advocate that wives submit to their husband according to the Bible. So how is it that you pick one bit of the bible and dismiss another. The way I see it, you break one, you break all.

[Shyloxx26]

Originally Posted by grip_daddy

Guys are really negative in life. I have numerous positive marriages around me that give me hope and make me wanna marry even now. Anyone who wanna get married immediately?

Oh sorry I'm a married man!

It's not being negative. Sometimes, it's just prudent enough to call a spade a spade and not a big spoon. There's no need burying our heads in the sand pretending that marriage is heading towards extinction.

Originally Posted by moveon

Mariage is the fruit of love.If you truely love someone,mariage will come to mind!!
But as long as you are with the wrong person,mariage to you will sound hollow!
Sorry guys but i still believe in love and i know great mariage is very much possible.

I agree with you partly. Marriage is possible, but by a long shot. Who ever watched Malooned? Nuff said!

Originally Posted by faiyyy

The fire needs to be kept burning. What happened is that somewhere along the way, someone stopped caring.

It is called, kuzoeana. You spend so much time with this person, mnajuana inside out, then someone somewhere decideds, argh, huyu mtu ameni-bore - but since you don't want to seem insensitive or be lonely for the rest of your living days, you decide to grasp at straws.
How come when you are dating, you are alwayz keen to look your best, you take time to groom yourself, ficha the bad behavior, all in the name of impressing someone, when you marry, ladies stockings on the head start appearing not to mention that they are smelly coz they've not been washed for i dont know how long.

Te he he he he!It's called masquerading. We don't want to give a bad impression of ourselves do we now?! No! we gotta act the part sister dearest - lest we are dropped like a hot potato. Ratio ya ma-boys to the girls inaogopesha. So ......

Men, the attention you used to give your wife has been taken over by a new hobby, Throwing insulting words to your dear one infront of the kids and friends, when the going gets tough, you need a shoulder to lean on, thats the time your spouse remembers that so and so is better than you. how will such a marriage survive?

Meanwhile outside you still make an effort to appear good, to impress people, they like you and become even closer friends than your spouse. You will wake up one morning and realise that you married a stranger, there is no bond to bind you anymore

Many people who are employed work mpaka retirement or are retrenched, that time they dont like what they do, but they will go for higher education so that they can get a promotion, ama look for another job, so that they can get more money. Same thing happens with the marriage, work harder.

Lakini work is a different context. With work, that's what pays your bills - call it self actualisation ....

[carolecarole]

mimi najua shida ya hii mambo.
women no longer feel anything for sex after the kids have come.

This pushes the mzee of the house right in to the hands of the young n cute gals all full of sexual energy.then..

after a good tyme of the gal being gal friend,the man decides to make the gal his wife n leave his old wife who does not appreciate him.
women should just learn to get a lot of oestrogen jabs,when this time comes to keep their men.

[Real Talk]

Originally Posted by carolecarole

women should just learn to get a lot of oestrogen jabs,when this time comes to keep their men.

...Or married couples can adopt the swinging lifestyle ( Eg. Will and Jada) to keep the sex part interesting...

Dare I say.. "open Marriage"?

[carolecarole]

Originally Posted by Real Talk

...Or married couples can adopt the swinging lifestyle ( Eg. Will and Jada) to keep the sex part interesting...

Dare I say.. "open Marriage"?

oops.i did not know willy n jada swing.
anaa thing could be to have expiry dates za hizo certificates.
n then zinakuwa renewed kaa bado watu are feeling each other still.

[Real Talk]

Originally Posted by carolecarole

oops.i did not know willy n jada swing.
anaa thing could be to have expiry dates za hizo certificates.
n then zinakuwa renewed kaa bado watu are feeling each other still.

....lol@ expiry dates

[m kenya]

I agree with carolecarole.

this thing of sex is always underrated and yet its the cause of soo many marriages, ladies (i am not putting blame entirely on them), majority, after first kid, feel zero for sex and still expect their man to love them. You have to be the pope to accomplish that. The problem is both biological (oestrogen shots) and psychological. I know the wife of a very prominent mdosi where i did my internship in nairobi, she used to gossip alot with the sec of the mdosi ati "gal talk" and the sec of the mdosi in turn used to give me the vybe.

SO one day the sec tells me that this wife of the mdosi always wonders why the mzee is asking for sex, 4 times a week, ati "kila usiku huwa ananisumbua". This shyet is applicable to both christians and non-christian ladies, walai, i dont think knowing God helps change things here. Just an enlightened lady who will know what sex means to a man.


Second thing ni hii mambo of ladies asking...."so where is this going?" Yaani making it the mans responsibility to drive the relationship. If it ends its becoz of him, all the while the lady never puts her feelings on the line, az in, what does she want, kazi yake ni kuuliza the hubby, ati so...what does this mean for us? arrgh! Mind games, what do you mean what does it mean? You what does it mean for you?

Thirdly, marrying in order for someone to make you happy. yaani you have had a screwed up childhood, you guys were poor and now you want marriage so that someone else can repay what you think life robbed you. Wont last two years. Divorce.

Not having a long term view of marriage. Thinking you are the first ones to do it. All marriages go thru some similar stages and its worth noting these before you get into it, so that you know how to handle the pot-holes. surviving 50years together is not based on feelings. You gatta have something special.

Fifth, understanding AND RESPECTING differences between the genders, hii mambo ya invalidating someone elses feelings, ie telling them they have no right to feel a certain way while in a certain situation is the surest way to kill a rel. When az a guy i am stressed, the last thing i want to do is talk. That is not the time i want to hear a lady giving me an analogy of the way talking is like "releasing pressure from a baloon". I find that utterly disgusting, reprehensible and all the synonyms of the two words.
Guys, when ladies cry, stop asking "why are you crying"? wacha alie thats the way she was created to deal with emotions, dont call her names.


Sixth, not understanding yourself and waiting for your hubby to help you understand you.

Seventh. Leaving the process to chance, ati "things just happen". Getting married for over 50years doesnt happen by chance, you gatta be intentional in making it work.

[m kenya]

Seventh,
ladies, you gatta be fly, dang. why is it that after a breakup a lady says she is gonna make herself sexy and all that, and make the guy feel kiwaru sijui, so why dont you be sexy when in the relationship in the first place? Tone yourself, by doing some exercise, understand what kegel iz all about.


Routine.
Guys, you gatta admit, after you hit puzzi, it gets stale after 6months, take a break from it and do something else.

Ladies,
dont change your dang tampons before me, and dont call me to the delivery room to watch your puzzi expand. Keep that thing a secret.

[jaykam]

Marriage is HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE SCAM!!!!