Quote:
Originally Posted by chemical
@al-zalzalah.....ati 1920?.......hapo siwesi kubali.. me, who knows the names of the heads of our family for 5 generations before i was born! wacha kabisa...but thats a storo for another day
there was a thread like this one where we "discussed" the position of a second wife in a polygamous union...the main problem (for me) was the negative attitude of women to polygamy...that no positives could arise from it..and that it was one of the "archaic and oppressive" african traditions men use to dominate women.... 
I see the same problem here..."tradition is retrogressive", "tradition is archaic", "tradition is a tool used for oppression of women"...and following these observations comes the notion of "submission"
why this word?
...It has been coined by the "bra burners"...to cast a disparaging light on any woman who recognises that her household should have a leader and that she can work with her man to achieve their goals together.... |
lol. chemical i'm also talking from family history. comparing the stories of my greatgrandparents and grandparents and the things they say have changed.
nothing wrong with burning bras. when's the next bonfire?
it's an open secret that many women in polygamous marriages are not happy about them. if the man doesn't have enough time or money for all his family it can really be bad. and that happens much of the time. tuseme tu ukweli. many men with only one wife and three kids fall short of playing their role. now if you take the same man and give him two wives, itakuwaje? rivalry, envy etc zinazidi and the family dynamic can be quite mboff coz energy and resources are devoted to fighting and competing, and even to running away (eg when the man runs away from the polygamous family drama and shacks up with a concubine in another town). some of my ppl are traditionalists and are polygamous. so we see these things with our own eyes. my siblings, cousins and i are not fans of polygamy, not because the church speaks against it, but because of what we've seen our relas go through.
some women are ok with polygamous marriages. and some polygamous marriages work. i have seen these too, lakini they are very few. hurrah for those people who can make it work, coz they have a skill most of us don't.
there's nothing absolute. different ppl, different experiences.
i thought the 'submission' thing was taken out of the bible, not coined by 'braburners'. ama am i misunderstanding you?
i assume your response is a general response to the whole debate and not just to me, coz one thing i am not is a slave to modernity. any culture, modern or traditional, has bad points and good points, and being a blind slave to any culture is not cool. we have bad traditions, but we also have excellent ones. i think MUK put it very nicely when he said that he picks and chooses from different cultures what is good and leaves out what is bad. that is exactly what i do. i really believe that we have a lot of treasures in our traditional culture.
Quote:
Originally Posted by msema ukweli Kabisa
no one put it better here than you did, al azah TDI said it perfectly
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hehheh. is this revenge for me fupishaing ur name to MUK?
anyway, sawasawaz. nimekuelewa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KEMINOKANA
LOL I was going to correct you on the spelling of that name, but I just realized I've forgotten it too. Al-azalzalah?  |
lol. keminokana, ur name is more impossible than mine. at least yangu ina rhyme na alliteration.
06-30-2008, 12:02 PM
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