[grip_daddy]

Originally Posted by barb

HEHE GAI FAFA.

Ester is a woman every man would want to marry. You see, if a man thinks that you are of the marriageable type, then you are a woman worth her salt.

Most women today present themselves as sex tools, that is, her place in the family is to spread her legs and give some puccy for the hubby. You'll see them around asking you to wank because you are still a "traditional" man unable to contain a modern and empowered woman.

The most important job is not to invent or repaire a broken sophisticated machine, or to keep yourself busy analysing political/economic dynamics of first world order, but to raise up a kid capable of making informed choices for her betterment.

I always wonder why society has esteemed object (man made systems) oriented disciplines above human (God made/natural which are more delicate and complex) nurture careers. To me, a woman who has learnt the art of humanity is worth a million times more than her who thinks that her advancement in understanding astrophysics is superior, that making money is better than raising a worthwhile family.

A real woman is a woman happy serving her family with love, joy, contentment, and more so, motherliness.

[barb]

who says that an educated working woman does not serve her family with motherliness, love, joy and contentment??? the only reason men want women @ home is because of their own insecurities, like i said before if we gonna do it traditionally, then we do it right, the world is changing and its sad people are still insisting to remain ignorant

[mo-uk]

Daddy--------what better life is there for a woman, wife and mother than to fluff her nest and nurture her family? this lifestyle is the natural inclination of the female nature because it is so emotionally rewarding.i believe that family should come first.

[grip_daddy]

Originally Posted by barb

who says that an educated working woman does not serve her family with motherliness, love, joy and contentment??? the only reason men want women @ home is because of their own insecurities, like i said before if we gonna do it traditionally, then we do it right, the world is changing and its sad people are still insisting to remain ignorant

Don't think your endless endeavors to address me by refraining from quotating my posts fulfills your "UNWRITTEN" agreement. No it doesn't unless your reasons are so shallow.

Back to the thread, a woman who is educated and works at home is doing a better job than her who thinks that being an equal provider increases her esteem. It requires more of self love to gain contentment in a despised lifestyle, than to find that contentment in a changing world.

The world is changing where they that retain ethical values, self dignity, respect for others, empathy for the afflicted, are minute and viewed as ignorant.

Following the majority for the sake of it is so idiotic. Why would making your own money be seen as a better alternative? Because of misdefining priorities.

[grip_daddy]

Originally Posted by mo-uk

Daddy--------what better life is there for a woman, wife and mother than to fluff her nest and nurture her family? this lifestyle is the natural inclination of the female nature because it is so emotionally rewarding.i believe that family should come first.

I view it this way:
For thousand of years men have been the material providers for the family, whereas women have played the crucial and most important role of managing the materials, the home affairs, kids, and family relation to the larger community.

When the society realised the injustices done on women, and the cry for equal rights and opportunities came up, instead of women fighting to safe guard their well endowed duties, they thought that men's duties are far better and respected, so they opted to be like men.

The only time I would want to be like a white man (career wise, personality emulation, accent change, cultural values, walking style, etc) is when I believe that my ways are inferior. If indeed I love myself and my place in the society, I would acquire education to make my ways better, but not opt for another's.

When a woman thinks that she too must be a material provider of the family, even when such providences are not needed, it is an acceptance that her natural duties are inferior thus she needs to feel manly.

For example, if I earn 1000 dollars per day, save 100 for any future uncertainties, save 100 for the kids, save another 100 for family investments, and the rest are spent wisely, why would she need to provide for the family?

Talking about education and job. Many people end up working in places they never trained in. Some of us do not apply any class work in performance of our duties, but still I do not consider my training a waste of time. Education plays an important role in life if it is viewed to be more than a job seeking avenue.

I am going to enroll in courses unrelated to my current job, but I don't ever want to lose the job I have. So, ladies, working by staying at home does not make you a lesser being, no, it makes you a better contributor to the society.

[Type R]

Originally Posted by Ester

Reason being that you cannot go against what nature has perfected for thousands of years: men are supposed to be the providers while women were made to nurture and ensure that everyone in the family is happy and healthy.

Originally Posted by grip_daddy

I view it this way:
For thousand of years men have been the material providers for the family, whereas women have played the crucial and most important role of managing the materials, the home affairs, kids, and family relation to the larger community.

Strangely enough, in traditional Africa, women: -

* carried out barter trade
* built the huts (construction industry)
* herded cattle/goats
* dug, planted, weeded, harvested
* pounded grain and legumes into flour (millet, sorghum, beans, etc)

Industrialization took away very many industries from women. Society is overall richer, but she has been relatively disadvantaged. Grain milling is now an major industrial process, run almost entirely by men. I have never seen a woman ploughing with a tractor, but all the way from Malindi to Busia, I see peasant women tilling the land with jembes and pangas. I have never seen a (modern) woman mason, but I have seen Maasai women slapping dung onto a stick frame at manyattas. Even modern farm management leaves women out.



Overall, traditional women's roles are becoming more deprived by industrialization, in a very subtle manner -- most people don't notice. When a modern man says, "a woman's place is in the home", he means something very different from his great-grandfather.

[grip_daddy]

Type R,

Women used to work at home (as a matter of distance) which did not bar them from performing the stay at home duties.

A man ploughing a field for ten hours keeps him away from home, just as a hunter would be away from home.

[YB*]

Something is getting lost somewhere in this argument.

Just to get a better understanding, maybe the poster can clarify a few things:

• When wife stays home, is there a househelp?
• Is there a groundsman (shamba boy)?

Since it has been put that the man is well to do and can provide these, and looking at Type R argument and Grips response, what exactly entails the duty of a stay home wife in modern times, keeping in mind as per directives she is not supposed to 'work'

Another argument crops up. Is it work only because its paid?? That traditional woman tilling for mbogas and nyanyas, does she have the husband yelling jioni "What have you been doing all day??"

[Waithera Cherono Akoth]

Originally Posted by kenyansenorita

i totally agree with nat89 on this one, i'm definitely not wasting my time in school just to be a stay home mom in the future, haiya hell nooooo

I second dat one.., no way i get up in morning, pay fees and sit thru exam
stress for years only to become a house wife...,HELL TO THE NOOO!!!!!

Originally Posted by nat89

Right now i am working my arse off for my kids.
I want my kids to have a good future thats whats important, i want them to go to the best schools around i want them to become someone later on in life so i will need that money,PLUS i have numerous things i need to do in life . .i want to open a kids home for orphans(one of the things i have to do) and such and if im not working how would that be possible?
Its all about making the world a better place and if he cant accept that then im sorry. I am a woman we can do multiple things. . i can easily raise my children in a stable family and work. . . i wont deny myself anytihng for a man. Never, it would be my kids first then me then my husband. But since there no kids yet its me. .. first.

Az usual..am proud of u.. i lyk dat part of u wont deny nthin 4 a man..,
see uv bin takin notes.., he he.., and at the same time u stood up
to wot a real woman shud be like.., kudos ma gal!!!

Originally Posted by grip_daddy

I find that majority of women would love to stay home. No woman likes a man who can't show her his manhood.
A woman's desire to be a house wife is as genetic

1st of all i think i took the wrong genetic class.., need to ask my profesor cz
last time i chekd.., desire to be housewife and genes have no corelation..,
mhhhhh .., about majority women loving to stay home...,
iam definately minority cz the thought of it jus sends chills dwn my spine..,!!

Originally Posted by barb

who says that an educated working woman does not serve her family with motherliness, love, joy and contentment??? the only reason men want women @ home is because of their own insecurities,

which is pretty selfish.., not wanting me to have a job jus to
satisfy ur selfish ego.., go to hell with it.. plizzzzz!

am suprised the men that we are breedin in society today..,
but am glad women are wise and inteligent lyk dat.,!! good
job ladies....,
a man in america wudnt say dat cz of hw life is hea.., hel have to
be a bilionaire to have a stay at home wife and children..,
this is a typical kenyan man in africa talking wea he can get away with it!!!

oohhh well al tell u one thing ladies.., very impotant take notes...,
having a good man is VERY VITAL..,
at the same time.., thea is nothin mo satisfying than having ur own paychek..,
that u worked 4., feels so much beta than the one u receive thru someone
elses sweat..., ur education, ur own money and ur own job is ur security in
this life as far as men are concerned...,and the only thing no one
can eva take away from yu.., a man can kik u out and expect u to
voluntarily return if u don have a job cz u have no choice.., a woman with that security has something to go to jus in case and the man canot play bull crap with u..,u earn ur respect....,so u see men are selfish.., they want to
be stay at home so they can control u..., shame on them...., stik to having ur security..,u don wana spend the rest of ur life having nothin beta to do
than gosiping on the phone with atha stay at home mums..,it will destroy u!!1

[okiedokes]

Originally Posted by mo-uk

A womans place is her home

Finally you found yourself the perfect guy. Handsome young charismatic and even a great smile that will make you melt You love him he loves you. Your family loves him , the one you have been searching for all your life . You finally found him ( or he found you whatever the case maybe). Here at your feet is the 'golden man'. Too good to be true!

He thinks you are the girl he has been looking for. Things go smooth no bumps along the way. You both decide this is it, marriage next. He expects nothing form you other than to be a stay home mum. He wishes you stay home and not work , look after him and his children.
What would you do? Freak out yell I did not finish a four year degree to be a stay home mum . Or would you kindly keep quite be happy you find a wonderful husband.

So gurls my question is how many of you would drop their careers for the golden boy and how many of you will refuse to be a stay home mum. BTW there is nothing wrong with being a stay home mum. No stress carefree life , look pretty all day since you have all the time in the world. I mean there are advantages and disadvantages both ways right?


So what would you do? if your future spouse demands you will not work full-time or part-time. And out of curiousty how many guys here will demand their wives stay home?

There is nothing like "No stress carefree life" when it comes to being a stay-at-home mom. In fact, there is information that suggests that a stay-at-home mom does more work than she would do actually going out of her home for work. At a job, people have scheduled breaks and can use that time to relax, or grab a bite with colleagues. At home, and with little children especially, there isn't any guarantee that they will comply to rules, or your schedule.
Very recently a research study showed that men add on average an extra 7 hours of housework per week. Add this to being a stay-at-home mom, cooking, etc. PLEASE!

To answer your question, I will rather go out everyday and work than be a stay-at-home mom. It's not about making use of my degree but about having my own thing outside of a marriage. You were someone before the marriage, why stop being that person after? The only thing that is constant in life is change. There is no guarantee that a man/woman will remain committed and faithful throughout a marriage. What happens when trouble begins and you have no financial means to get yourself and your children to safey? Imagine having to ask a man for money to go buy sanitary pads? Yikes!!

Some countries make it relatively easy for working mothers. They have 1 year paid maternity leave, depending on the job type. So after that one year, I don't see why a previously working mother wouldn't wanna go back.