[kenyansenorita]

i totally agree with nat89 on this one, i'm definitely not wasting my time in school just to be a stay home mom in the future, haiya hell nooooo

[nat89]

Originally Posted by mo-uk

Sad! So having a job is more pleasing and important to you than having a stable family?

Right now i am working my arse off for my kids.
I want my kids to have a good future thats whats important, i want them to go to the best schools around i want them to become someone later on in life so i will need that money,PLUS i have numerous things i need to do in life . .i want to open a kids home for orphans(one of the things i have to do) and such and if im not working how would that be possible?
Its all about making the world a better place and if he cant accept that then im sorry. I am a woman we can do multiple things. . i can easily raise my children in a stable family and work. . . i wont deny myself anytihng for a man. Never, it would be my kids first then me then my husband. But since there no kids yet its me. .. first.

[Sanaa-]

I think it would be wise if both husband and wife start seeing beyond their fence. With the current global economic trends, you do not want to be caught in the inertia of being made redundant at work, or even families whose houses were burnt in the elections violence . Such families have to almost start all over again. It is important that both husband and wife, have an updated resume and keep improving, and strengthening their professional skills, just in case they have to live in a completely different place and had been living on "just enough" or one partners savings alone.

Nowdays it would be silly to say that it is a feminist issue to work and still manage a family. It is more of a requirement for average income earners.

That said, even if my husband was a billionaire, and gave me the money to do some philanthropy work, I'd still not agree to stay at home because a profession for me would be more of a passion than a pre occupation.

[grip_daddy]

I find that majority of women would love to stay home. No woman likes a man who can't show her his manhood. There are however a few that appreciate a weak man who need to be helped out and those good women are what I like to call rare species.

This is practical rather than the theories you see in this thread. Just try to date any, you'll be surprised. A woman's desire to be a house wife is as genetic as her desire to bear children.

Or try to go for her whose income would be used more than yours, you'll receive a kick of the ass.

[barb]

am so saddened by some comments some pple posted, first off i agree with nat89 and ks, i personally will not spend 6yrs in sch only to end up staying home , that is ridiculous, and if a man asks me to do that knowing how hard i worked then he is just down right stupid. There a lot of stable families with working moms, and for someone to think that a working mom is abandoning her family then that is just pathetic. Then again if we decide to go with the notion that a woman's place is at home then i would expect a man to go out and hunt, literally, bring home a deer for dinner, since we are going with tradition then we do it right.

[african hotty]

Originally Posted by mo-uk

A womans place is her home

Finally you found yourself the perfect guy. Handsome young charismatic and even a great smile that will make you melt You love him he loves you. Your family loves him , the one you have been searching for all your life . You finally found him ( or he found you whatever the case maybe). Here at your feet is the 'golden man'. Too good to be true!

He thinks you are the girl he has been looking for. Things go smooth no bumps along the way. You both decide this is it, marriage next. He expects nothing form you other than to be a stay home mum. He wishes you stay home and not work , look after him and his children.
What would you do? Freak out yell I did not finish a four year degree to be a stay home mum . Or would you kindly keep quite be happy you find a wonderful husband.

So gurls my question is how many of you would drop their careers for the golden boy and how many of you will refuse to be a stay home mum. BTW there is nothing wrong with being a stay home mum. No stress carefree life , look pretty all day since you have all the time in the world. I mean there are advantages and disadvantages both ways right?


So what would you do? if your future spouse demands you will not work full-time or part-time. And out of curiousty how many guys here will demand their wives stay home?

Life is about advantages and disadvantages..................

Having said that....a woman has to know what situation she is getting herself in,yes i would drop my career to be a stay at home mom(i must have finish my degree/masters)only if I see that my husband is a caring,respected,family oriented person,who knows that he has a responsibility of wife and children.
Nevertheless if you see this man is a player from the get go,and portraying nothing good,not working to comfortable sustain a family,no i will not do that.

Wasting time is what that is called,get on with your life if nothing productive doing !!!

[african hotty]

Originally Posted by KEMINOKANA

Which world are you living in? I see plenty of families where women choose to stay home and the husband provides and everything is smooth from owning two brand new cars(benzes), house and a pretty kid. So you cant say "there is no way" when we see so many ways it happens. Just say you want to work and stop hiding behind bills. lol.


I wonder why people spend thousands in childcare expenses just to keep a job and boost their egos no matter the character of nanny raising the kids. And then u wonder why later in life the kid happily throws you in a nursing home with one montly visit. There was no bond to begin with.

I have to agree with you 100000%

[Ester]

I would do it in a heart-beat! To me, family always comes first and if the opportunity to stay home arose then hooray!! Of course, everyone is different and not all women have the temperament to stay home and “wait” on their husbands and kids.

I don’t view it as a waste of education, because a more educated housewife means one who will be better informed in making decisions that pertain to the household. It also doesn’t hurt to know that if need be, I can assist kids with their calculus and physics homework or class projects. Also, in the event that the man was no longer able to work, God forbid that he died or became disabled; wouldn’t it be comforting to know that your skills and education can keep the family afloat?

At the risk of sounding old-fashioned, I don’t think a woman can achieve a greater sense of accomplishment other than by raising a family. It’s amazing how women have bought into the feminism hogwash hook, line and sinker. Feminists themselves are one of the most miserable, depressed women you can find. Reason being that you cannot go against what nature has perfected for thousands of years: men are supposed to be the providers while women were made to nurture and ensure that everyone in the family is happy and healthy.

Other than working, there are other many ways that a housewife can keep busy. For example by volunteering her resources to help the needy, keeping a garden, joining a book club or bible study etc...

[barb]

Originally Posted by Ester

I would do it in a heart-beat! To me, family always comes first and if the opportunity to stay home arose then hooray!! Of course, everyone is different and not all women have the temperament to stay home and “wait” on their husbands and kids.

I don’t view it as a waste of education, because a more educated housewife means one who will be better informed in making decisions that pertain to the household. It also doesn’t hurt to know that if need be, I can assist kids with their calculus and physics homework or class projects. Also, in the event that the man was no longer able to work, God forbid that he died or became disabled; wouldn’t it be comforting to know that your skills and education can keep the family afloat?

At the risk of sounding old-fashioned, I don’t think a woman can achieve a greater sense of accomplishment other than by raising a family. It’s amazing how women have bought into the feminism hogwash hook, line and sinker. Feminists themselves are one of the most miserable, depressed women you can find. Reason being that you cannot go against what nature has perfected for thousands of years: men are supposed to be the providers while women were made to nurture and ensure that everyone in the family is happy and healthy.

Other than working, there are other many ways that a housewife can keep busy. For example by volunteering her resources to help the needy, keeping a garden, joining a book club or bible study etc...

HEHE GAI FAFA.

[mo-uk]

look home stay mom is not a lifetime commitment. I have a hunch that many assume that is the case with home stay moms. Not true! When kids hit the magic number many stay home mom find something useful to do be business-related or community related work. This much has to be said at the outset.

Some also seem to be equating woman who has left paid workforce to take care for their family to woman who wasted their talents for something less-fulfilling or something that is not worth the sacrifice! Not true! With stable and functioning family, this is perhaps most fullfilling time for many women.

Likewise it seems to be of the opinion that father is not doing his part if stay home mom accept that role. Not true! Assuming he is responsible and fair man, he is probably working his behind off to provide for his family and the same time helping her raising kids. You just have to realize that the best interest of the child is to spend quality time with mom at least in early childhood years! Fathers can help but they can not replace mothers

Now it seems to me that some women put paid work on a pedestal and a high one at that! Paid work is an economic necessity for many. Not a spiritual one! What that means is if one can get by without paid 8-5 work shift it is all better. There are activities that home stay mom might choose to pursue (given she has enough spare time) such as community work, teaching, writing, home-based business, and what not.

Finally let me say this much: I know some women are big on their career or paid workforce. Evidently thats priority to you! Understood! But it is high opportune for you to at least concede to the premise that home stay mother is a natural and fulfilling role for women. By women I do mean educated and sophisticated women that are contributing to their community in so many ways. It might not work for some but this is a role that works for many many women.