[wanaume]

Originally Posted by Fraglante

My mother always told me "men are dogs". Never mind that she was and still is happily married. She instilled the fear of God(read men) in me.I believed her completely.

However, with the passing years I have learnt my own lessons and made my judgment. Men are NOT dogs.Well, atleast not all of them.

A woman who blames a man/men for all her pain is sadly mistaken.Why? Well because, every person subconsciously attracts the kind of person they want.She may not know it consciously but deep down in her heart those lying, cheating useless men who treat her like garbage are exactly the kind of men she wants.

So you wonder why would a seemingly sane woman want such a low life for a man??? This is where I remind you never to judge a book by its cover.People come from various backgrounds.This kind of woman may have known nothing but such.ie from her father to her brothers to all the male relatives she grew up with, that could be all she saw.

Perhaps her father was a drunk who never took care of the family, beat up the mum,cheated on her etc. In her tender years she probably made a mental note to stay away from such.But nooooooo...nature will have it that she will subconciously seek out exactly what she saw in her father.Such that if she was to find a man who truely loves her and treats her good she will do something to bring that r/ship to an end.

She needs the drama in her life. A laid back man just doesnt seem to lover her enough.Or to love her the way she wants to be loved, the only way she knows....like her dad loved her mum, like her brothers loved their wives etc etc.

Its a toxic cycle and we really cannot blame her. She is on a trail of self destruction, but will never admit it because she doesnt know.She simply isnt aware thats its her fault.She finds it easier to blame the man.

The women who say men are dogs approach men with a negative preconception.I am convinced ...what ever happens to one doesnt just happen. We bring it upon ourselves.

Excellent!!!!!!!! Welldone frags, you know if this was n examinable queastion you know that is a straight A!!

I just wish the ladies would listen and listen with their minds to this

[Nxele]

Originally Posted by Genuwine

My neiba (pseudonym: Sheila) - an alma mater of Daystar, intelligent, a Christian and working for a big bank. Juzi, she read me the Riot Act about all the DOGGISH no good men who have hurt her.

Observing this woman on the surface, you wouldn’t dream in a million yrs that she is a poster gal for a failed relationship. This furious sister ended her male bashing diatribe by stating that if she pieced all of her worthless ex-boyfriends together, she still couldn’t produce one single solitary good man.

Sheila insisted that ALL MEN are dogs and blamed ALL OF US MEN for her pain. She refused to consider the thought that her recurring love traumas could also be her own making.

I’ve heard numerous tales of misogynistic from women and like a recurring nightmare; certain women can’t seem to break the cycle of attracting men who are bona fide dogs.

These women seem to have a penchant for ending up in risky relationships and/or miserable marriages with loathsome males, but why?

Why are dishonorable males constantly drawn to these women? Why do the men they attract turn out to be abusers, liars, cheaters, fakes and men who end up ripping their hearts out?

@Genuwine

After your girlfriend is done frothing from the mouth , gagging , spitting vitriol and jejune , stomping her feet on simiti tell her to work on her SELECTION criteria or else she'll pop a nerve .

She seems to have a poor selection criteria .

[Native Son.]

Originally Posted by Fraglante

Reminds me of a little incident I had last week. We were 3 ladies having some girl talk one afternoon. One of the ladies goes on and on about her friends husband and how nice he is. She goes on to praise him until my other pal and I feel like we really want to meet this angel of a man. As fate would have it she mentioned where he works which happens to be the place I used to work before I moved to my current place. With that I was curious and asked for his name, what department he worked etc. Lady was so sure I wouldn’t know him so she told me. Surprise surpise I almost choked on my tea, what a small world we live in! The alleged Mr nice, Mr perfect, Mr faithful, Mr would-never-even-look-at-another-woman happened to be the same man who flirted with me day in day out. The man would even come to my department just to stare at me. The whole office would have a hearty laugh because he never hid that fact. He was such a clown and he did it all in good humor. When he came he would have every one know he has just come to ‘have his morning ray of sunshine’ after which we would go on and on to flirt. It was harmless flirting, I never let anything happen beyond that. Mind you at that time he was still married to the same lady and every one knew it.

What am I driving at? Men are by nature visual. They will not fail to appreciate beauty in a woman simply because they are happily married. When I say beauty I don’t just mean physical beauty, but also inner beauty. Appreciating beauty by looking, and maybe flirting doesn’t amount to cheating. I mean really!!!! Its his nature. Unless a wife is very insecure this shouldn’t be an issue of concern to her. The man is married to her not the woman in the street or in the office or where ever. He comes home to you every night doesn’t he?? So be easy.

Another thing, men are by nature polygamous. He may love his wife with everything he’s got but still have this need to ‘conquer’ a ‘new young thing’ thing. What I know is that its not in the affair per se but in the man. His need to feel he has still got it??? Or something like that. He never does this to hurt his wife infact if anything he will never let her find out unless there are deeper issues in that marriage.

That said and done, I want to mention that it is possible for a man to have feeling for multiple women. Note that these are distinct feelings…not that he feels the same for them all. His wife however will be waaaaaay up on a high pedestal. No other woman can reach her level. After all this is the one he decided to marry, to be the mother of her children, to go home to every night etc. The other women play a special yet important role in his life. Who knows, they are probably what the doctor prescribed fro his marriage. These other women may not just be ‘accomplishments/trophies’ for the man’s ego but they could be playing a vital role in his life. His well being and his marriages’ survival.

Every situation is different and should be looked at on a case to case basis. We can’t judge them all ‘kiwhole sale’. Some we may never even understand whats going on or why the man does what he is doing. What you need to do carolecarole is walk into that marriage or relationship realistically. Men will not always be dogs but they will always be men. Don’t expect an angel. The men we call dogs are ….well lets just say they are in a class of their own. Or they are undergoing midlife crisis, adolescence or some **** like that. Tends to mess around with the screws in their head…. I mean how do you sleep with 3 women in a day in the same bed????( ok story for another day)

You have encapsulated this whole issue brilliantly.

You have some insight into Men's world.

Well said!

[al-zalzalah]

Originally Posted by Genuwine

Why are dishonorable males constantly drawn to these women? Why do the men they attract turn out to be abusers, liars, cheaters, fakes and men who end up ripping their hearts out?

the way you framed your question makes it look like the woman is passive in the attraction process. maybe she attracts 'dogs', but that in itself is not a big deal. they can't force her to date them. it's that she is attracted to these men which is the problem.

nxele has summed it up in a sentence, she should change her selection criteria.

[Titty Boy]

Originally Posted by Genuwine

Sheila insisted that ALL MEN are dogs and blamed ALL OF US MEN for her pain.

That's so true...I'm a Pitbull. I escaped from Michael Vick's compound only to find myself in more fire when I sought refuge in DMX's compound

I'm typing this from the safety of my Kennel in Paris Hilton's backyard.