[grip_daddy]

notice how a woman who aborted in the past feels guilty when she cant give birth? she feels she has wronged this man beyond repair.[/color]

This is a sad example. I know of people who bring all sorts of blames, accusations and fault finding when babies cannot come by.

Sometimes I really think that for happiness sake, people of similar history should unite...a man whose child was aborted to marry a woman who had aborted etc.

That is because some preserve themselves in order to give the best to their future spouses, only to meet such traumas? A big heart is required for understanding otherwise it has always been that life is unfair.

[okiedokes]

Personally, I don't see the point of apologizing, since you both will have pasts. But the apology might be coming from a place of "yearning for acceptance" or "fear of judgement" by her current man. So if he doesn't mind it, then it might seem easier for her to come to terms with it.

[Ester]

Is this what they mean when they say, try and have sex in marriage with your life partner, then you will not have guilt nor need for absolution??

To an extent...
Some people experience sex for the first time in marriage, well and good. However, what were their reasons? Was there cultural pressure or did they preserve themselves out of their own volition? If the former was the motivation, marriage will not deter them from seeking sex elsewhere. A good friend of mine, middle-aged white guy, once told me that he would never marry a virgin. His reason was that virgins have not experienced the emotions involved in a sex and relationships, so their vows are based on naive assumptions and carry less weight than from someone who’s loved and lost.

From what I know at this point in life, it would be ideal if people never had sex before marriage. Every person that you sleep with and don’t marry is someone else’s potential spouse. If you’re of marriageable age we may safely assume that your partner is out there, somewhere: how would they feel if they knew at that particular moment their future wife/husband was messing up? That attitude is what keeps me going...

Are there women here, who in that very moment of weakness justified your actions to a potential mate or even spouse without it being solicited??

Definitely. Perhaps it’s because women are more emotional than men. Such confessions can be triggered by various events; most importantly, they mark a milestone in the relationship. They can either make or break up a couple.

I’m not sure who’s to blame; our society judges men and women on different moral scales. Like someone pointed out, women feel the pressure to be considered “pure” and “innocent.” Some of them go to ridiculous extents to preserve this identity. For example the woman who secretly aborts or cuts in half the number of men she’s slept with. However, when such a woman enters into an intimate relationship she realizes that her “secrets” create a chasm that prevents her and her man from achieving true intimacy. What to do? It’s a nagging feeling that eats away at your peace coz deep down you feel like he/she doesn’t know the true YOU. It’s easy to push these thoughts to the back burner but they have a way of coming to the surface during “sentimental times” when emotions are raw.

All in all, I think that honesty is the best policy. It’s the cornerstone of every successful relationship where love, trust and communication abound.

[kenyansenorita]

its not bad to confess past mistakes to your partner, but i don't see why a person should beg 4 forgiveness to a fellow human being for their past mistakes instead of asking for forgivness from God, that to me, doesn't make sense at all, sorry to say this but its a dumb move