Does anyone know of any long distance relationship that has ever worked?

[grip_daddy]

I know two couples who are finally and happily married after LDR. I know four other friends who have witnessed such marriages and attended the weddings.

Optimism is not its success. Pessimism is not its failure.

It works if you use your head properly.

You can make it worthless, expensive, and hopeless.

[t.D.A.]

Originally Posted by grip_daddy

I know two couples who are finally and happily married after LDR. I know four other friends who have witnessed such marriages and attended the weddings.

Optimism is not its success. Pessimism is not its failure.

It works if you use your head properly.

You can make it worthless, expensive, and hopeless.

Care to share what they did right?

[grip_daddy]

Originally Posted by t.D.A.

Care to share what they did right?

They say it's expensive. It's not.

They say it's demanding in terms of hope, trust, and commitment. It's not.

They say that communication lines must be openened 24/7 to let it work. Not necessary.

It is about talking the above issues logically and proactively, laying down preunderstanding conditions to make the other party develop complete faith and security in the relationship.

It is having it as if it is not LDR mentally. That's the way the couple I know of managed. That's the approach one should follow.

Just take the points raised above by other posters on why it cant work, and let the couple talk at length about those points and come up with appropriate measures.

I can pm you something that glues the above if you want a moving testimony.

[t.D.A.]

Originally Posted by grip_daddy

They say it's expensive. It's not.

They say it's demanding in terms of hope, trust, and commitment. It's not.

They say that communication lines must be openened 24/7 to let it work. Not necessary.

It is about talking the above issues logically and proactively, laying down preunderstanding conditions to make the other party develop complete faith and security in the relationship.

It is having it as if it is not LDR mentally. That's the way the couple I know of managed. That's the approach one should follow.

Just take the points raised above by other posters on why it cant work, and let the couple talk at length about those points and come up with appropriate measures.

I can pm you something that glues the above if you want a moving testimony.

Please do, my PM is open

[al-zalzalah]

this LDR ish can only work if it is meant to work. beyond doing your best and hoping, i don't think there's a magic formula to it.

[Ester]

They do work, albeit rarely. There's one couple I know who were successful; they were apart for 5 years (US and kenya) coz of studies. I think it's because they were really,really good friends (from childhood). Alafu their families and friends were backing their relationship big time. It was very obvious that they were made for each other. I think that's why it worked..They're now happily married with two kids.

[t.D.A.]

Originally Posted by Ester

They do work, albeit rarely. There's one couple I know who were successful; they were apart for 5 years (US and kenya) coz of studies. I think it's because they were really,really good friends (from childhood). Alafu their families and friends were backing their relationship big time. It was very obvious that they were made for each other. I think that's why it worked..They're now happily married with two kids.

The interesting thing about your stories is that THE FAMILIES were backing that up. Meaning that to some extent they weren't just responsible for themselves but also to their families. Isn't this also part of the reason that arranged marriages tend to last so long?
Interesting....when so many people are trying to move away from marriages where families are involved, family may be one of the glues that binds the relationship together.
Grip bana, PM bado inakuja ama?

[Ester]

Originally Posted by t.D.A.

Interesting....when so many people are trying to move away from marriages where families are involved, family may be one of the glues that binds the relationship together.

Exactly so; that seems to be the common denominator in the succesful LDR's I've seen. The sense that the relationship is bigger than the two of them, that they are part of a larger community, I think, is very important for any r/ship to succeed; long-distance or otherwise.

[grip_daddy]

Originally Posted by t.D.A.

Grip bana, PM bado inakuja ama?

Ester will pm you. Meanwhile just chill!

[t.D.A.]

Originally Posted by grip_daddy

Ester will pm you. Meanwhile just chill!

Will do