Juicy story i tell you!
but the suspense ni kama tu ya mexican soaps.
may be yu draw a schedule PH.
That way I can be sure that next episode will be posted the next tyme i pass by..
Alright..i'm drunk as captain Jack Sparrow or that jamaa from the Tin Tin Comics...the captain who wikaz 'Blistering Burnicles'...so lemme tell you a small story...Yes! i'm back *****es!
Basically this is how it all started...
It was last December when i was in Nairobi. I woke up in my cubicle a.k.a the S.Q (Servants quarter). Kawaida ya mambo ni kuwa kijana Mkikuyu akifikisha miaka 14, jamaa hujengewa keja. Luckily, keja yangu bado iko Uthiru, 8 years after I qualified to have one. Its still standing tall...courtesy of Simba Mabati!
So naamka. Papo hapo i'm brought to reality by my protesting head...nilikuwa nimekunywa kama fala the previous night. To add to my aching head, i was naked in my bed...a single. Besides me, a naked female. Let me add that her breasts were tempting even as my head felt like Al Queda had detonated a suicide bomb in my Medula.
...I bet right about now you are asking how I got myself in such a situation?
well, that is what i was asking myself. How? when? who is she? did my folks see me jump the fence with her? or did i walk thro the main gate just like Moses and the Israelites walked thro the Mediterranean Sea bila shida?
...to be honest with you i was panicking like a *****! in such a situation i usually look for an alcoholic beverage and to my luck there was half a bottle of Viceroy on the floor. it was below my boxers, her bra and an open box of durex.
nilikuwa na hangover but what better way to put off a fire than with more fire?
......kama kawaida yangu...TO BE CONTINUED!
Before you CONTINUE the story,take a HIV test
THIS WORLD YOU LIVE IN IS EVERGROWING WITH VAST TECHNOLOGY AND DIFFERENT SOCIETIES
First of all...words of wisdom...no matter how screwed up u think your family is.... its ur duty to be there 4 them
Secondly, i'm gonna reply in general to all of you...for those who think i'm prolonging my story for too long, i mentioned i'm taking summer classes that r kicking my ass. basically i can't sacrifice studying 4 electromagnetism and microwaves for posting on mashada.
...to whoever suggested i get tested for the bug a.k.a HIV...already have...i'm negative...healthy as mule...also hang as a mule...
Third...tuendelee
...Rhonda alikuwa antoa nguo zangu as if she had been promised a pot of gold in my pants. and indeed it was a worthy one-eyed prize by the name of Baba Kanush.
let me tell u a secret about these Catholic-schooled girls...those 4 yrs locked up reciting the rosary and living a life of serious studying have only led to an accumulation of sexual frustration that can only be referred to as a 'ticking time bomb'.
in my case, Rhonda had totally forgotten all the teachings of her ethics teacher at Kianda High and was shoving Baba Kanush in her throat...
....let me get a lil' drunk so that i can tell u details...
OK! i'm back...5 shots of Jose Cuervo in my veins...and still walking...BTW i have an Engineering exam in 8 hrs...haidhuru.
...gauging by the vigor and excitement of Rhonda's actions, i knew that i had to have a game plan...i was certain she was gonna climax since all the variables in 'the equation' were know..(i told u i was a man who has an equation and/or formula for everything in life)
The Equation
if she's drunk + her sexual excitement + a penis = an orgasm in < 3 min.
...i was fncked up but i remember her chanting some words in Luo...i can remember her saying something like Iber and Nyako and MyGod and Tear that ******* up u sexy Mungiki. I remember howling like a dog when she called me a 'sexy Mungiki'...i also remember my dog DMX howling along outside....lmao
The total score for the night was 4 rounds of lustful, sweaty sex, a sore penis and a random text to my 2 close pals in Philly, Papa and Mapunda...the message in the text was 'Ngai, sirudi Philly. I've found the perfect k.u.m.a'
....the vigorousity of the sex did not even allow us to cuddle coz we blacked out as soon as round 4 was over...
NEXT...the morning after...getting busted by my mum...Mrs. Hunter. and driving Rhonda back to Loresho in my father's 1976 Nissan-Datsun...number plate KJQ-575
nunulia wasee wa home phone credit @ bongasasa.com
Last edited by poko-hunter : 06-02-2008 at 12:09 AM.
words of wisdom..when u black out and wake up with a feeling that u did something crazy, your probably did
and that was the feeling i had when i woke up the following morning. I had a massive headache, a naked gal in my bed and a yarning to know what i did...so i called Sammi as i explained in the 1st episode.
After my phone call with Sammi, the bottle of Viceroy was now 3/4 empty with that 1/4 that was missing being absorbed in my stomach. i put on my superman boxers, a pair of shorts and headed to the main house.
u all know that after a night of drinking, you are as hungry as a refugee so you go ransacking the ice-box a.k.a refrigerator. my mum happened to be watching me the entire time i was in the kitchen. kumbe she had been standing at the door just observing his last born son.
"Ulisherehekea jana?" she asked.
"Yes mum! i had a blast," i answered.
"Kuna nyama-fry kwa sufuria juu ya cooker. help yourself." she said.
"and don't forget to grab a plate for your guest, she must be starving!" she added.
when she semad the above words i knew that she knew that i had a female in my 'cave'. i knew she knew that PH was no longer the sweet obedient son she knew. he had evolved into a womanizing rasta who could tolerate insane alcohol levels.
"yes mum. nitamtengenezea sahani pia," was all i could say.
i couldnt even look my mother in the eyez.
"Hey mum. I was wondering if i could borrow dad's car later on in the afternoon to take Rhonda home?" i asked
"so thats her name?" she asked.
"yes mum."
"Well, you can take the car. Just bring it home in one piece!"
"Thanks mum!"
after my conversation with my mum, i knew that my dad was gonna summon me later on that day to give me one of his talks. those kinda talks that make you feel guilty of yourself that you wonna register at a monastery first thing the following morning.
...i went back to my cave and fed my beautiful guest,finished the viceroy with her, had 2 rounds of nginyo and a shower (even tho keja yangu ni ya mabati, iko na bafu fit for Queen Elizabeth).
...To Be Continued coz my ride to the club just got here!
nunulia wasee wa home phone credit @ bongasasa.com
Last edited by poko-hunter : 06-08-2008 at 02:59 AM.
Poko, your story's a trip, hommie... Lol. You write this up, no doubt you'll be nomitated a spot on NY Time's top sellers. That storo was worth the millenium fo real.
06-01-2008, 07:07 PM
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