[beeamah]

Originally Posted by Msesh

As in most things in life, there are no shortcuts. Grow a pair and face the issue head on. Sit your former bf/gf and tell them they are now your former bf/gf. Bring some tissues, be attentive and pretend you care and assure he/she it's all your fault. Promise you'l still be friends and that this hurts you more than her/him. Then go on with your life.

If you're a coward, ignore them till they get the hint and hope they don't stalk you.

Swali langu bado linauliza? Kwani ni wanawake au wanaume aina gani mnao husiana nao katika mahaba? Ninaposoma majibu yenu ninashangazwa kwa kuwa inakaa mnahusiana na na wanawake/ wanaume walio na akili punguani. Ati unaogopa mpenzi wako wa zamani atakustalk? Bwanawe una hakika hao wapenzi wenyu wana akili timamu? salala! nimeshangaa kwa mshangoa wa kushangaza.

[Msesh]

Originally Posted by beeamah

Swali langu bado linauliza? Kwani ni wanawake au wanaume aina gani mnao husiana nao katika mahaba? Ninaposoma majibu yenu ninashangazwa kwa kuwa inakaa mnahusiana na na wanawake/ wanaume walio na akili punguani. Ati unaogopa mpenzi wako wa zamani atakustalk? Bwanawe una hakika hao wapenzi wenyu wana akili timamu? salala! nimeshangaa kwa mshangoa wa kushangaza.

First of all, slow up. Secondly, the topic was how to break it off with someone to which I suggested a direct and honest but HUMANE breakup. No one likes hurting someone they were with...well, at least those of us who aren't sadists don't. Former was used in the context of the person who was being let go being informed their new status as a former gf/bf. What part of that you didn't get is beyond me. I also gave a suggestion for cowards...Don't make me use my Swahili dictionary again

[jasakwa]

Originally Posted by beeamah

Swali langu bado linauliza? Kwani ni wanawake au wanaume aina gani mnao husiana nao katika mahaba? Ninaposoma majibu yenu ninashangazwa kwa kuwa inakaa mnahusiana na na wanawake/ wanaume walio na akili punguani. Ati unaogopa mpenzi wako wa zamani atakustalk? Bwanawe una hakika hao wapenzi wenyu wana akili timamu? salala! nimeshangaa kwa mshangoa wa kushangaza.

Bila shaka wewe ni mtz,mazee lugha yako fasaha tu sana.

back to the subject,when the relationship is known by parents of both parties,the best way is to first sit down your family and let them know what you are about to do,explain to the girl's family after you tell the girl,but just as kemi suggested it is best to incorporate the curve as opposed to a sharp turn maneuvor.signs should preceed your d-day date.words like'
- let us face it,there is no mutual satisfaction in this bond.
- its not your fault but i just can't seem to connect well with my inner emotions.
- I want you to be happy and meet someone who will make you happy,i just feel lost and need space and time to re-assess myself about this relationship.

always make sure the greviances are mentioned before giving the reason,especially if you have met another person.

[pritijo]

Originally Posted by jasakwa

Bila shaka wewe ni mtz,mazee lugha yako fasaha tu sana.

back to the subject,when the relationship is known by parents of both parties,the best way is to first sit down your family and let them know what you are about to do,explain to the girl's family after you tell the girl,but just as kemi suggested it is best to incorporate the curve as opposed to a sharp turn maneuvor.signs should preceed your d-day date.words like'
- let us face it,there is no mutual satisfaction in this bond.
- its not your fault but i just can't seem to connect well with my inner emotions.
- I want you to be happy and meet someone who will make you happy,i just feel lost and need space and time to re-assess myself about this relationship.

always make sure the greviances are mentioned before giving the reason,especially if you have met another person.

Wow, thanks Jasakwa. you're the best.

[KEMINOKANA]

beeamah, I was gon comment on your swahili in another thread but wow....u know u even sound like another swahili maestro called Kenyan Chic. U sure it aint u? Lol.

Anyway I think you are a bit disingenuous. Are you trying to tell us that u've never been hurt or hurt someone? Ati so a guy gives u marching orders and you walk away like that? That's gotta be a new one.

As MUK said, the issue is the fear of hurting the other person more so in cases where family(ies) is/are involved. Mind games are necessary to reduce the pain and the guilt....or in my case, to reduce the insults. Man I've been called names.

[paul3000]

Best thing is to keep away until he/she asks what’s going on. Then you can say things are not working for you and list your shortcomings (attachment, security, etc). Chances are that he/she is also not feeling you. And you’ll only end up hurting yourself to think you’re ending it while she/he moved on long time ago.

I once tried to end a relationship and was shocked out of my wits by the casual way ("OK") she responded to me, with a contemptuous gaze fixed below my belt. I had already been kicked to the kerb and replaced, as my gut feelings had been warning me. Or maybe I was never on board

[mnyeusi]

Originally Posted by bible_reader

My opinion would be that,if you have an option,its better to use signs and symptoms strategy.It lessens the pain.

Am for the idea too. I go for actions speaking louder than words.The person is left hanging and not sure whats cutting.Slowly I would distance myself then with time gather courage with reasonable reasons which I would explain in a nice way. However, I would still maintain friendship.

[beeamah]

Originally Posted by Msesh

First of all, slow up. Secondly, the topic was how to break it off with someone to which I suggested a direct and honest but HUMANE breakup. No one likes hurting someone they were with...well, at least those of us who aren't sadists don't. Former was used in the context of the person who was being let go being informed their new status as a former gf/bf. What part of that you didn't get is beyond me. I also gave a suggestion for cowards...Don't make me use my Swahili dictionary again

Yah! i think that is the same exact point i made a couple of posts ago.

[Msesh]

Originally Posted by beeamah

Yah! i think that is the same exact point i made a couple of posts ago.

You probably did...but your Shakespearean Swahili was too deep for me

[beeamah]

Originally Posted by KEMINOKANA

beeamah, I was gon comment on your swahili in another thread but wow....u know u even sound like another swahili maestro called Kenyan Chic. U sure it aint u? Lol.

Anyway I think you are a bit disingenuous. Are you trying to tell us that u've never been hurt or hurt someone? Ati so a guy gives u marching orders and you walk away like that? That's gotta be a new one.

As MUK said, the issue is the fear of hurting the other person more so in cases where family(ies) is/are involved. Mind games are necessary to reduce the pain and the guilt....or in my case, to reduce the insults. Man I've been called names.

Trust me i know the pain that comes with breaking up. It took me about two years to get over my first break up in retrospect the guy wasnt worth a darn thing. You can imagine i tried everything in my power to get him back lakini wapi. When i got my wake up call later manze i couldnt believe i had wasted all that time trying to get back with the dude. I talked to him juzi after about 10 years, hutaamini the guy sounded worse than my 22 year old cuzo, he still thinks drinking and going out is cool. In that case thanks God the dude dumped me! What i`m trying to say is when a guy dumps me, its his lose. Why should i refuse to live coz someone dumped me? I`ll move on to the bigger and better things.

By the way kemi et al im just trying to use my swahili before i loose it all together, man its been too long and obviously my sheng ishakuwa maziwa lala.

Who is kenyan chic, i have no relation to her.