[PippyZa]

Well,it has never happened to me as a Man. But I have witnessed very funny stories with serious relatives.Here comes a situation whereby you´ve known your girfriend for a time that you consider to be enough, and now you decide to introduce her to your Parents as a fiancee( all goes perfect, still)..But comes a time when your Mother summorns you to a private place to speak to you her mind about the girl and like say, " Pippy, my son, from my own observation, as the lady who brought you up to what you have become today, I think that this is not the right lady for you, I reccommend that you call an end to this relationship, take your time and search for a better lady.At this time Pippy asks, "but, Mum, just sympathise with me and imagine all the time i have employed on her for the last so and so years but the mother insists, and make her Point clearer; " My son, If you have to live with her, Then I regret having suffered all that pain of having you as my son..

Ladies, How would you react to this particular situation whereby a Man you love don´t marry you because his mother is dissatisfied???

Men, How would you react to this situation..You are in love with a person which to your mother´s opinion doesn´t belong to you???

Please, help share your ideas on this..It happens moreso in kenya and in all kenyan societies, in Kaleos as well as Luo, Kikuyus, Luhyas and everybody else..

The field is now yours..OPINIONS

[milanya]

Sometimes mothers do have Genuine reasons that are valid as to why you shouldn't marry someone. If you are clever you can see them.

Most of the time, nobody is good enough for their beloved son. If she has a job, she isnt paid enough. If she is well-paid, then she is obssessed with materialism. If she is humble, she is too quiet. If she is talkative then she is inconsiderate, busy-body.

I think some mothers just cannot handle letting their sons go.

But you have to have wisdom to discern between valid concerns and mother-in=law insecurities.

[Dynamic]

Pippy my boy, my mom has pulled this stunt on me. Twice. I found myself in a position where I had to choose between moms and my lady. So now, I keep my personal business away from moms- i don't even talk about it. Cuz one other thing you dont' want to happen is that you take the lady anway, then have to endure the "See? I told you so..." speech from your mother later down the road. So choose wisely.

[Sugarplum]

Pippyza I thank God that my mother-in-law and I get along great. But what if we didn't?
1. Talk to you mother and try and see WHY exactly she feels that way about your fiancee. Make sure you get very specific explanations with examples to support it. If she doesn't explain herself, that's one of the giveaways that she cannot validate her criticism.
2. Try and empathize with your mother as she is explaining herself. But in everything, make sure you stand your ground and do not compromise your love. Keep in mind that your fiancee is not present to defend herself incase your mom makes some whack accusations.
3. DO NOT tell your fiancee of what your mom may say about her. That will be one feud you pray you are never a part of.

[PippyZa]

Originally Posted by Dynamic

Pippy my boy, my mom has pulled this stunt on me. Twice. I found myself in a position where I had to choose between moms and my lady. So now, I keep my personal business away from moms- i don't even talk about it. Cuz one other thing you dont' want to happen is that you take the lady anway, then have to endure the "See? I told you so..." speech from your mother later down the road. So choose wisely.

Mimi, sijawai peleka dame kwa mum, but there was a time aliniona tu, yani kutuona tu pamoja..I won´t lie, she did not talk but kuna tu yani vile her face aliniambia what she should have told me.." she didn´t like that particular lady", that´s obvious..Good enough, this wasn´t a girlfriend lakini I had started started making some questionable steps, but i decided to put a break..yaani bado tu sababu ya sura niliona tu..ya madhe...Interesting!!! Well, Thank huku abroad i just don´t have to involve watu wa home na deals zangu..thank God

[Dem Gal]

I am all for respecting parents and honoring them so you days on earth maybe added, etc, etc. However, if a man I am dating or am in love with breaks the relationship with me coz of his mums opinion of me, I would leave him in a heartbeat....won't even wait for an explanation. Then I would head to the nearest bar to celebrate. Why? Its a sign of things to come in the relationship. There is nothing as hard in a relationship as having a mother-in-law who despises you and a husband who takes her side. Sooner or later the relationship will suffer.

[Dem Gal]

Originally Posted by PippyZa

Mimi, sijawai peleka dame kwa mum, but there was a time aliniona tu, yani kutuona tu pamoja..I won´t lie, she did not talk but kuna tu yani vile her face aliniambia what she should have told me.." she didn´t like that particular lady", that´s obvious..Good enough, this wasn´t a girlfriend lakini I had started started making some questionable steps, but i decided to put a break..yaani bado tu sababu ya sura niliona tu..ya madhe...Interesting!!! Well, Thank huku abroad i just don´t have to involve watu wa home na deals zangu..thank God

Pippy, you is a mama's boy? Whoa! As Tintin would say "billions of blistering bernackles!!"

[PippyZa]

Originally Posted by Dem Gal

Pippy, you is a mama's boy? Whoa! As Tintin would say "billions of blistering bernackles!!"

Not that way..you know..But I felt something, you just know ukitoka abroad ku visit home, people may know those ladies around better than you, yenyewe si you can bear me witness? It´s like may be the gal was an estate whatever..and i didn´t know..you know

[KEMINOKANA]

Parents parents!

As Milanya said, often times, parents have valid reasons. Saa zingine they have instincts that those of us in the relationships cant sense coz its a blind spot. But some parents ni total selfishness of trying to extend their control and any woman who presents an end to this is most likely to be opposed.

There's this gal that my paroz looooooooved and she made sure that she pleased the paroz like wa! Deep in me I was doubting the relationships for several reasons. I just didnt think our personalities were clicking. So I told my paroz am walking out of it. Of course they couldnt have none of it. The reason being that she presented them with an opportunity to tame me. Parents have this annoying habit that they dont even want you to move out of their house coz if u do, ur 'abandoning them after raising you all these years'. Ta hell is wrong with parents nowadays. So this woman presented them an opportunity to have me on a rope. And I dont want that shiet. I believe after marriage, people should compleeetely cut off their families and start their own. I mean hiyo maneno of paroz being begged for cash from home then passing it over to u, asking you why you didnt go to church or why you were late, why your lawn is not mowed, bla bla needs to stop kabisa! People become sovereign republics when they marry and not additional federal states. The issue of mothers or fathers ingiliaring their children's marital lives for whatever reason is unacceptable. If yall quarelling, go talk to your pastor or somm...not running to your mother like a 5 year old who's been stung by a wasp on the belly button.

So you really have to weigh the points being raised...are they valid or selfish.

[jaykam]

Then again we hav parents who try and pimp their son to you by saying things like ........you guys look really good together...... or Eric go show Jaykam your room (yaani they want their son to hav som ass)...... mpaka u start feeling weird around ur friend.