[melissa1973]

Hello all..
I have been with this man for almost a year now. But now I am wondering how truthful he is. For the past almost one year he was so much into our relationship, we used to spend almost all our time together… We work close to one another and will go for lunch.. The days we do not see each other we will be on the phone after work till we fall asleep… If we are not on the phone we play computer games together because we are not together.. When the week end comes we are spending the whole entire time together.. Unless he want to go play pool and he tells me… sometimes I feel like going and meet him there sometime I meet him afterwards. During our entire relationship he has always told me about his ex ex that he dated for 5-6 years and they studied together, lived together and then split because they were not made for each other.. But he mentioned that they are still very good friends and that they talk once in a while.
The ex ex was a good friend of his sister, and knew his family. After one year of being together he told me that his ex ex’s brother was getting married and for that reason the family was coming to town and asked him to be a host, to which he agreed. So the family is in town for the past week and half.. They are supposed to be here for two weeks. Last week end he took off with them to visit his sister and he did tell me that the sister was like, “ if they are in town and it’s a long week end why don’t you guys come” and I know that the the ex-ex was the sister’s roommate a long time ago.. And my boyfriend told me he had to take them out of town.. I myself do not know the sister.. Nor do I know the ex ex but he told me everything ( I think ??? about them). Now is the second and last week end they are here and I wonder if I should trust him.. On e hand he did tell me they will be here for two weeks and I did not react to it..
His argument now is that I did not say anything and If I was pissed I should have told him. And now that they are here and he committed to be a host, he has to do it. So we have spent no time together..
It’s making me very sad knowing that for the past one year we have been together all our free times ( I mean when we are not at work). And the fact that he can use all his frre time with another girl, which is an ex-ex and her family piss me off. So is this a good reason to dump him?
I am very sad, because I feel like I missed the bus. I used to be with a kenyan guy, I will never forget him. I caught him online cheating... I wonder if i still love him and that's why I cannot move forward.

[Skarlet]

>Hello all..
>I have been with this man for almost a year now. But now I am
>wondering how truthful he is. For the past almost one year he
>was so much into our relationship, we used to spend almost all
>our time together… We work close to one another and will go
>for lunch.. The days we do not see each other we will be on
>the phone after work till we fall asleep… If we are not on the
>phone we play computer games together because we are not
>together.. When the week end comes we are spending the whole
>entire time together.. Unless he want to go play pool and he
>tells me… sometimes I feel like going and meet him there
>sometime I meet him afterwards. During our entire relationship
>he has always told me about his ex ex that he dated for 5-6
>years and they studied together, lived together and then split
>because they were not made for each other.. But he mentioned
>that they are still very good friends and that they talk once
>in a while.
>The ex ex was a good friend of his sister, and knew his
>family. After one year of being together he told me that his
>ex ex’s brother was getting married and for that reason the
>family was coming to town and asked him to be a host, to which
>he agreed. So the family is in town for the past week and
>half.. They are supposed to be here for two weeks. Last week
>end he took off with them to visit his sister and he did tell
>me that the sister was like, “ if they are in town and it’s a
>long week end why don’t you guys come” and I know that the the
>ex-ex was the sister’s roommate a long time ago.. And my
>boyfriend told me he had to take them out of town.. I myself
>do not know the sister.. Nor do I know the ex ex but he told
>me everything ( I think ??? about them). Now is the second and
>last week end they are here and I wonder if I should trust
>him.. On e hand he did tell me they will be here for two weeks
>and I did not react to it..
>His argument now is that I did not say anything and If I was
>pissed I should have told him. And now that they are here and
>he committed to be a host, he has to do it. So we have spent
>no time together..
>It’s making me very sad knowing that for the past one year we
>have been together all our free times ( I mean when we are not
>at work). And the fact that he can use all his frre time with
>another girl, which is an ex-ex and her family piss me off. So
>is this a good reason to dump him?
>I am very sad, because I feel like I missed the bus. I used to
>be with a kenyan guy, I will never forget him. I caught him
>online cheating... I wonder if i still love him and that's why
>I cannot move forward.
>

Kawaida i don even botha, lakini, leo imebidi,
Helloooooooooo, paragraphs?!?!?!?!?!

[KEMINOKANA]

No it is not a good reason. You should have objected to the idea before he committed himself. Otherwise right now, the moral and culturally acceptable thing is for him to gracefully host the guests.

I think you are being jealous and selfish. U dont trust him either. Just coz ur dating does not give u the right to command how he should spend his free time. This is where dating couples go wrong. Dating only gives u privileges, not rights. Marriage gives u the full privileges and rights...and even then, common sense should always apply.

On a side note, I learned this the hard way. Exs are NO NOs. It is over, it is OVER!

[Eden_2005]

he spent 1 yr with you...most of his time and now ur complainin cuz he wants to spend time with another family (not just anotha chic)!!!!!!!!!!!! get serious, no wonder jamaz stray aki. Dont be fazed by such small issues.
Eden

[milanya]

What is an ex-ex?

This is the typical case of a chic saying. 'It's okay honey' when it is clearly not, and then expecting him to know that. I don't know why women tend to do that. Myself included. In my relationships I have had to make a constant effort to fight that. I think it's because when women have issues between women we can usually pick up on an 'it's okay' that's not genuine. But men are simple creatures, so keep it simple.

I think it was wrong of him to put himself in that situation. However he committed to it. I would not host my ex's family unless it was an ex husband and I had his children! I understand that you are upset, but calm down. The situation is as is for now. The best you can do right now is suck it up and maybe even join them on an outing, that way you get to spend time with him too. It shall be awkward but it'll help you asses the situation better and if all is well he shall love you more for your graciousness in such an awkward situation.

When it is all over you will need to sit down and talk. I don't believe ex's should be friends in a serious relationship (if you don't agree, that's why I'm not dating you) because if you've loved someone before, or especially slept with them, it is too familiar of a territory. So you'd better discuss this when they are gone or else in the future you'll be married and having his ex-girlfriend and her family over for Christmas.

[Wantai]

melissa1973, don't be selfish. Let your jamaa host wageni, iko nini?
He must have known what he as agreeing to. If you trust him, you shouldn't be worrying about this. If you don't trust him, you shouldn't be dating him.

[ngong]

what the hell is this person saying? labda tuelezee kwa kiswahili tutaelewa.

[Lioness1]

You obviously thought you trusted the guy, yet you realize you don't. Another thing I gather is that you are fairly clingy and have lost the essence of who you are without this guy - chicks tend to do that quite abit in new relationships.

Since you asked for advise, here goes - a) for your own good, get a life of your own, doing some things that generally don't include your man. This is important as men (boyfies, husbands, any man...) will at one point get bored with hanging around with you ALL his spare time. b) Amua to either trust him and be with him, or distrust him and let him go. c) learn to speak up for yourself, saying what is exactly on your mind. You will not look good saying yes, then changing your mind a few days into the deal - to be honest, you will seem fickle and undecided. d) If you love your ex jamaa, go back to him and stop wasting this jamaa's time.

L

[Waypoint]

Well get over it gal, with relationships they take two ways,it's either good or bad.Yours for a moment sounds bad. You treat this whoever like he is everything and you can't have fun or chill or even move on without him or something....get over it and grow up.

Both of you need to be into it.You seem to be into it more than him and seems like you are pushing this whole idea too much. And the issue about trust...,its two way traffic,y'll have to trust each other and i don't think you trust this guy and until you built that trust you guyz are just mere friends who can break up in a heartbeat.

My advice,chill and see how events unfold,remember that the doors for relationships are never shut completely and that don't mean that they will never open again,trust me they do,it happened to me just the other day and am going with the flow.Anything can happen,the best thing,don't put all your eggs on this one basket...do it the Kenyaan way,have some eggs on the other basket, incase you loose the other basket. Make sense..i know it don't!

[melissa1973]

What I have learned here, is that I made the mistake of spending all my time with this guy and I am planning to change that. It's the first time, I found myself spending all my time with one person and I deeply regret it...
I will just sit back and observe how things will develop..
As of moving on and getting a life on my own, I am planning to do that too.