[majuzi]

dear mashadites...i have a question. As far as the future of a marriage is concerned do you think a marriage relationship that is made up of two different tribes has a poor future as compared to one made up of two similar tribes? Actually i guess to be more clear, do you guys think that a marriage will surely not work out because it is is made up of people of different tribes?
Another question do you think that in the case of an intertribal marriage there are certain tribes that are more compatible ex. meru and kikuyu or kamba and kikuyu compared to maybe meru and luo?
i am in a relationship that my parents think is doomed because i am kamba and he is a kikuyu... i just need to hear other people's opinions.

[Whitehead]

You must be an offspring of zinjathropus oopithecus. Look dude..we are in the 21st century. Style up.

[milanya]

you are not doomed. If a Kenyan can marry an Indian or japanese or jungu and have a successful marriage, i dont see why intertribal cant work. Especially the way asians are very closed to foreigners in marriage. Intercultural relations are harder than same culture relationships. It takes an open mind and strong character. You've got to be open enough to accept each other's views and strong enough to stand drama from others, esp your peroz

[reggie_woic]

Never doubt that your parents want what's best for you.
But then again, if you get married, YOU, not your parents, are the one going to live with him for the rest of your life.... so its pretty obvious who's decision it should be.

P.s If i liked somebody enough to want to marry them, i'd completely overlook their ethnic tribal language(if it applies).

I speak what your weak mind lacks, and i don't stutter.

[Wantai]

>Never doubt that your parents want what's best for you.

Reggie, this is one this i have learnt to believe, coz why would parents want every best thing for their kid throughout life until it comes to choice of spouse.

But then again it is one getting married and not the parents, priorities may well differ considering generations gaps etc.

[crazy boo]

>i am in a relationship that my parents think is doomed because
>i am kamba and he is a kikuyu... i just need to hear other
>people's opinions.

if your parents are objecting just ask them to tell you the MAIN reasons why they don't like him.If tribe is a factor that's you to decide whether you will cope with that not them..na kwanza at least its a GEMA thing..so not so many people leta shida with that.If its character,behavior,education,differences etc...then those are things worth considering.I think it just depends on the "magnitude" of the reason why they dislike him.some parents can just have cold feet and after time the "get used" to him.. so waulize ni nini per se'-at least the next time you know what ticks them off....lol..

[chatterly]

>i am in a relationship that my parents think is doomed because
>i am kamba and he is a kikuyu... i just need to hear other
>people's opinions.
>

ask your parents one question, 'how high is the probability that my marriage to a tribesmate is bound to prosper forever?'

and a second question, 'do you have any proof?'

third, 'mbona mwataka kunivunjia rizki???'

all the best...I am marrying someone from luoland and I am not a luo myself. Go ahead....its your life, don't live it the way others want you to, coz you will never be happy that way :-)

[Okwang]

@ Majuzi,
In my opinion, I have to say that it depends on your exposure. by that i mean, if you left home for college abroad, and you sustained yourself hile helping your parents; then they have little say in who you want to marry. They may not like him/her but if you met your partner abroad, lived with them, built your lives together - who are your parents to dictate whom you marry? They may try but you'd probably ignore them. Now if you are back home and your parents see whom you're dating and so on, they have a greater influence on your decision and you may decide that it is not worth butting heads with them over your spouse. It's not a bed of roses I tell you!
Cheers!

[m kenya]

>dear mashadites...i have a question. As far as the future of
>a marriage is concerned do you think a marriage relationship
>that is made up of two different tribes has a poor future as
>compared to one made up of two similar tribes? Actually i
>guess to be more clear, do you guys think that a marriage will
>surely not work out because it is is made up of people of
>different tribes?
>Another question do you think that in the case of an
>intertribal marriage there are certain tribes that are more
>compatible ex. meru and kikuyu or kamba and kikuyu compared to
>maybe meru and luo?
>i am in a relationship that my parents think is doomed because
>i am kamba and he is a kikuyu... i just need to hear other
>people's opinions.
>

@poster...what you are asking is relative...
its never an issue to do with tribe, just the way the two of you relate. Picture this, there are parents who oppose marriages from the SAME tribe, becoz the partner is ooohh a luo from Migori and we are luos from Bondo, a kikuyu from Kirinyaga, and a kikuyu from Muranga, a taita from Ronge juu, and a taita from ronge chini, an embu from chogoria and embu from chuka, a kalenjin from kericho, a kalenjin from keiyo......
my point being, you can split hairs till it becomes impossible to marry, because of your/your parents ethnocentricity....yaani, them thinking they are the reference of all that is good...
If all parents do "whats good for their kids", how come we have truant kids, and bullies?? Some of these parental sentiments are infomed by ignorance (ironical), not love.

So.? So marry a person you can live with, not a person prescribed to you. When you go thru shidaz, in the middle of the nite, your peroz wont be there,. Just marry someone you can live with.

[chotadipo]

....
>its never an issue to do with tribe, just the way the two of
>you relate. Picture this, there are parents who oppose
>marriages from the SAME tribe, becoz the partner is ooohh a
>luo from Migori and we are luos from Bondo, a kikuyu from
>Kirinyaga, and a kikuyu from Muranga, a taita from Ronge juu,
>and a taita from ronge chini, an embu from chogoria and embu
>from chuka, a kalenjin from kericho, a kalenjin from
>keiyo......
>my point being, you can split hairs till it becomes impossible
>to marry, because of your/your parents
>ethnocentricity....yaani, them thinking they are the reference
>of all that is good...
>If all parents do "whats good for their kids", how come we
>have truant kids, and bullies?? Some of these parental
>sentiments are infomed by ignorance (ironical), not love.
>
>So.? So marry a person you can live with, not a person
>prescribed to you. When you go thru shidaz, in the middle of
>the nite, your peroz wont be there,. Just marry someone you
>can live with.
>

Clap clap clap. Well put.