[Wantai]

mkenya, well said but instead of marrying a person i can live with, i'd rather marry a person I cannot live without.

[chatterly]

>mkenya, well said but instead of marrying a person i can live
>with, i'd rather marry a person I cannot live without.

thumbs up!!!! :-)

[nefertiti]

You love him,he loves you. Work on your relationship and iron out the problems that might arise btw the two of you because of others interference (in-laws) then marry. You parents love you and want whats best for you--that does not mean that they are always right or incapable of shortsitedness or prejudice. If you were marrying someone from another race, i would understand their concern but as it stands, they should not let their interpretation of love matters influence you too much.They grew up in a diff time where schooling and hanging out with all kinds of tribes was probably not rampant. It was most likely a given that they'd marry a kamba. Well your life has been diff and you've met all kinds of people, got lucky and found one you love deeply.
If you marry a Kamba you don't really love, you are going to be miserable stuck in this marriage or else find youself planning on what to wear for the divorce. What will hurt even more is when he (yo kyuk mano) marries and makes a family with another. Some things are irreversible.

Don't be so quick to do the 'expected thing' and thus sacrifice your hapiness. That dose is mostly to please society and never bears any friut.It is deceptive.

The q you gotta ask is when the wedding is over, when everybody has smiled,partied, your folks have celebrated and everybody has gone home and its now just you and him; is this going to make you happy?

[Akhenaten]

Hey?

I am Meru and I think Luos mamas are the shiznit! And all it took was one night of unparalleled passi... sorry, got carried away there. Itz about what u feel. Our folks are caught up in the tribal crap and some jamaas in our generation are taking the same avenue of folly. Itz all about love. Don't lose heart!

One

[reggie_woic]

Why do people personalise posts that have nothing to do with them?
I get my kick from responding regardless, but that's the impression i'm getting from no response from the poster.

tonk nih ti? rettut sid id.

[Kenyan chic]

LOL! & Thumbs up to you @Akhenaten..., na hiyo jina.., eish! ngumu sana (Nimetema yote ya ndani, heheh).
Nways, what would those parents say in this age of Raila-Kiabaki drama and jeng's intermarrying with kyuks???

[Msoto]

>dear mashadites...i have a question. As far as the future of
>a marriage is concerned do you think a marriage relationship
>that is made up of two different tribes has a poor future as
>compared to one made up of two similar tribes?

It depends any marriage can be successful irrespective of what tribe is chosen. Meaning that the similarity or dissimilarity of tribes is not exactly what may impact the marriage. Then again it also depends on what significance you attribute...both spouses to tribe. You can easily make something that may not necessarily be troublesome...into insurmountable. It all is determined by what perspectives both of you have adopted upto the current point.

Actually i
>guess to be more clear, do you guys think that a marriage will
>surely not work out because it is is made up of people of
>different tribes?

I think a marriage can fail to be successful on many things. It would be unfortunate if tribes were the deciding factor for the marriage since it would mean that the individuals are each sticking to the ethnocentricity fanatically.

>Another question do you think that in the case of an
>intertribal marriage there are certain tribes that are more
>compatible ex. meru and kikuyu or kamba and kikuyu compared to
>maybe meru and luo?

I think compatability is based on exposure. Most people believe that gema are more compatible because they are all bantus and their languages are very similar...only differences in dialect. Most people grow up in societies where they are exposed to maybe more of meru/kikuyu/kamba i.e. eastern/central province and thus they may feel that they associate themselves closer culturally to them and that the cultural divide with luos who are nilotes is too great.
Others on the other hand may grow up in the city but get indoctrinated into cultural perspectives and heritage...i.e. only speaking in kikuyu/luo/luhya as opposed to swahili and english. Only hanging around people who speak your "mother-tongue" believing that it is only with them that you are yourself. This kind of seeking of identity maintains the idea that some tribes become incompatible.


>i am in a relationship that my parents think is doomed because
>i am kamba and he is a kikuyu... i just need to hear other
>people's opinions.

As Cboo, mkenya, okwang have pointed out...and others as well. Ask your parents for the reasons as to why the marriage is doomed. Find out if it is perhaps due to the characteristics exhibited by your spouse and not just his "tribe" and your parents have attributed them to being kikuyu that are the problem.

Then try and observe if there is any validity of your marriage being not successful because of other factors that have been masked by "tribe". Then look at your own notions and expectations of what the "stereotypes" are. You could for example write them down and judge for yourself which ones you feel that you cannot stand and perhaps those are the ones that your spouse has exhibited. Now you can either decide to curtail your relationship because you find your cultural divide too wide...being raised up in strict kao heritage and traditions. Or you can seek to rationalize with your parents why he is not simply a "kikuyu" but "your spouse" and what factors in him led you to make that decision. In doing so you will be more at ease with yourself for not defying your parents....and your relationship with the kyuk may infact get strengthened because you will gain support of your parents.

[Spankyou]

>>dear mashadites...i have a question. As far as the future
>of
>>a marriage is concerned do you think a marriage relationship
>>that is made up of two different tribes has a poor future as
>>compared to one made up of two similar tribes?
>
>It depends any marriage can be successful irrespective of what
>tribe is chosen. Meaning that the similarity or dissimilarity
>of tribes is not exactly what may impact the marriage. Then
>again it also depends on what significance you
>attribute...both spouses to tribe. You can easily make
>something that may not necessarily be troublesome...into
>insurmountable. It all is determined by what perspectives both
>of you have adopted upto the current point.
>
>Actually i
>>guess to be more clear, do you guys think that a marriage
>will
>>surely not work out because it is is made up of people of
>>different tribes?
>
>I think a marriage can fail to be successful on many things.
>It would be unfortunate if tribes were the deciding factor for
>the marriage since it would mean that the individuals are each
>sticking to the ethnocentricity fanatically.
>
>>Another question do you think that in the case of an
>>intertribal marriage there are certain tribes that are more
>>compatible ex. meru and kikuyu or kamba and kikuyu compared
>to
>>maybe meru and luo?
>
>I think compatability is based on exposure. Most people
>believe that gema are more compatible because they are all
>bantus and their languages are very similar...only differences
>in dialect. Most people grow up in societies where they are
>exposed to maybe more of meru/kikuyu/kamba i.e.
>eastern/central province and thus they may feel that they
>associate themselves closer culturally to them and that the
>cultural divide with luos who are nilotes is too great.
>Others on the other hand may grow up in the city but get
>indoctrinated into cultural perspectives and heritage...i.e.
>only speaking in kikuyu/luo/luhya as opposed to swahili and
>english. Only hanging around people who speak your
>"mother-tongue" believing that it is only with them that you
>are yourself. This kind of seeking of identity maintains the
>idea that some tribes become incompatible.
>
>
>>i am in a relationship that my parents think is doomed
>because
>>i am kamba and he is a kikuyu... i just need to hear other
>>people's opinions.
>
>As Cboo, mkenya, okwang have pointed out...and others as well.
>Ask your parents for the reasons as to why the marriage is
>doomed. Find out if it is perhaps due to the characteristics
>exhibited by your spouse and not just his "tribe" and your
>parents have attributed them to being kikuyu that are the
>problem.
>
>Then try and observe if there is any validity of your marriage
>being not successful because of other factors that have been
>masked by "tribe". Then look at your own notions and
>expectations of what the "stereotypes" are. You could for
>example write them down and judge for yourself which ones you
>feel that you cannot stand and perhaps those are the ones that
>your spouse has exhibited. Now you can either decide to
>curtail your relationship because you find your cultural
>divide too wide...being raised up in strict kao heritage and
>traditions. Or you can seek to rationalize with your parents
>why he is not simply a "kikuyu" but "your spouse" and what
>factors in him led you to make that decision. In doing so you
>will be more at ease with yourself for not defying your
>parents....and your relationship with the kyuk may infact get
>strengthened because you will gain support of your parents.


SUMMARIZE MZEE!

THATS AN ESSAY I HAD TO HIGHLIGHT SOME AREAS TO GO THROUGH HALF OF IT.

THE TRIBE ISSUE IS LIKE THE RACE ISSUE, PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS SKEPTICS. THEY JUST DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE DIFFICULT, YOUR CHILDREN TO BE DIVIDED IN CHOOSING WHAT CULTURE THEY IDENTIFY WITH.

MY TAKE, IF YOUR NOT A QUITER, JUMP IN THE DEEP END TAKE A RISK.
ITS GOING TO BE HARD WORK BECAUSE U HAVE TO PROVE YOUR PARENTS WRONG, SO I WILL REPEAT. IF U ARE NOT A QUITER, TAKE THE PLUNGE

[Msoto]

>>>dear mashadites...i have a question. As far as the future
>>of
>>>a marriage is concerned do you think a marriage
>relationship
>>>that is made up of two different tribes has a poor future
>as
>>>compared to one made up of two similar tribes?
>>
>>It depends any marriage can be successful irrespective of
>what
>>tribe is chosen. Meaning that the similarity or
>dissimilarity
>>of tribes is not exactly what may impact the marriage. Then
>>again it also depends on what significance you
>>attribute...both spouses to tribe. You can easily make
>>something that may not necessarily be troublesome...into
>>insurmountable. It all is determined by what perspectives
>both
>>of you have adopted upto the current point.
>>
>>Actually i
>>>guess to be more clear, do you guys think that a marriage
>>will
>>>surely not work out because it is is made up of people of
>>>different tribes?
>>
>>I think a marriage can fail to be successful on many things.
>>It would be unfortunate if tribes were the deciding factor
>for
>>the marriage since it would mean that the individuals are
>each
>>sticking to the ethnocentricity fanatically.
>>
>>>Another question do you think that in the case of an
>>>intertribal marriage there are certain tribes that are more
>>>compatible ex. meru and kikuyu or kamba and kikuyu compared
>>to
>>>maybe meru and luo?
>>
>>I think compatability is based on exposure. Most people
>>believe that gema are more compatible because they are all
>>bantus and their languages are very similar...only
>differences
>>in dialect. Most people grow up in societies where they are
>>exposed to maybe more of meru/kikuyu/kamba i.e.
>>eastern/central province and thus they may feel that they
>>associate themselves closer culturally to them and that the
>>cultural divide with luos who are nilotes is too great.
>>Others on the other hand may grow up in the city but get
>>indoctrinated into cultural perspectives and heritage...i.e.
>>only speaking in kikuyu/luo/luhya as opposed to swahili and
>>english. Only hanging around people who speak your
>>"mother-tongue" believing that it is only with them that you
>>are yourself. This kind of seeking of identity maintains the
>>idea that some tribes become incompatible.
>>
>>
>>>i am in a relationship that my parents think is doomed
>>because
>>>i am kamba and he is a kikuyu... i just need to hear other
>>>people's opinions.
>>
>>As Cboo, mkenya, okwang have pointed out...and others as
>well.
>>Ask your parents for the reasons as to why the marriage is
>>doomed. Find out if it is perhaps due to the characteristics
>>exhibited by your spouse and not just his "tribe" and your
>>parents have attributed them to being kikuyu that are the
>>problem.
>>
>>Then try and observe if there is any validity of your
>marriage
>>being not successful because of other factors that have been
>>masked by "tribe". Then look at your own notions and
>>expectations of what the "stereotypes" are. You could for
>>example write them down and judge for yourself which ones
>you
>>feel that you cannot stand and perhaps those are the ones
>that
>>your spouse has exhibited. Now you can either decide to
>>curtail your relationship because you find your cultural
>>divide too wide...being raised up in strict kao heritage and
>>traditions. Or you can seek to rationalize with your parents
>>why he is not simply a "kikuyu" but "your spouse" and what
>>factors in him led you to make that decision. In doing so
>you
>>will be more at ease with yourself for not defying your
>>parents....and your relationship with the kyuk may infact
>get
>>strengthened because you will gain support of your parents.
>
>
>SUMMARIZE MZEE!
>
>THATS AN ESSAY I HAD TO HIGHLIGHT SOME AREAS TO GO THROUGH
>HALF OF IT.
>
>THE TRIBE ISSUE IS LIKE THE RACE ISSUE, PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS
>SKEPTICS. THEY JUST DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE TO BE DIFFICULT, YOUR
>CHILDREN TO BE DIVIDED IN CHOOSING WHAT CULTURE THEY IDENTIFY
>WITH.
>
>MY TAKE, IF YOUR NOT A QUITER, JUMP IN THE DEEP END TAKE A
>RISK.
>ITS GOING TO BE HARD WORK BECAUSE U HAVE TO PROVE YOUR PARENTS
>WRONG, SO I WILL REPEAT. IF U ARE NOT A QUITER, TAKE THE
>PLUNGE

Some issues need more than one-liners and CAPS LOCK.
Pole lakini sometimes its good to exercise the muscles kwa kichwa...its healthy.

[Spankyou]

>
>Some issues need more than one-liners and CAPS LOCK.
>Pole lakini sometimes its good to exercise the muscles kwa
>kichwa...its healthy.

BECAUSE I'M USING CAPS LOCK AND I'M SIMPLYFYING WHAT I SAY MEANS THAT I AM NOT EXERCISING MY BRAIN?

BY THE WAY, THE BRAIN DOESN'T HAVE MUSCLES, THE BRAIN HAS RECEPTORS THAT ACTIVATE MUSCLES SIMPLE BIOLOGY EVEN TAUGHT IN O-LEVELS MAY BE U SHOULD HAVE GOOGLE SEARCHED BEFORE U REPLIED