Is the guy weird? Is this a date, friendship or relationship?

melissa1973 · (#1 (**permalink**))

I have been dating this guy for about 5 months now, and I am worried as of how straight he is. Ever since day 1 that we met, we found that we share many interests and activities. Therefore, we spend all weekends together, playing games, going to the movies, playing pool, cooking, and dancing (we both love it, working, sleeping, discussing future. I meet his friends and he meets mine. And they all know we are in some kind of a "relationship". We have been traveling together quite a bit, and are still making future plans to travel to cool cities. Our work places are close to one another, so during the week, we sometimes meet for lunch. All seems so perfect, I have a great time with him, and he says he enjoys being with me. BUT

There are two weird things though, at least weird in my mind.

Anytime, we discuss relationship he says, right now I dont want to date or right now I dont want a girlfriend . What else is needed to call a relationship a date, or your partner a boyfriend? He told me about his past, and the last relationship he had, turned into a psycho case. But still it does not explain why he doesnt want to call it a date, or a boyfriend girlfriend relationship. He refers to us as being very close friend, or very good friend.

The other point even more troublesome is that he would not want me to visit him at his place. So all the time, we are at my place. It is very bizarre to me, as I am used to relationship, in where we go to each other place. That point I cannot explain to myself.

catskill85 · (#2 (**permalink**))

I hate to be the one to hit the nail on the head...but!
Its pimping babe!! No man wants to be in a relationship; the only reason men get into "relationships" is cuz its the only way to get some or is jealous of some other dude getting laid by you.

If he wont let you in his apartment, he thinks that you have fallen for him so much that he can hit you at your place. I wont be suprised if he u say he asked u to pay while out for dinner or his rent.

Trust me;its every man's dream to have mamaa u can hit any time, at her place, not get attached and may be pay your bills.Pimpin straight up!

patt · (#3 (**permalink**))

indeed you have done so much together,and have so much to do together that you forget to kiss, cuddle or screw. That's what boyfriends including players do.

Can i just say this guy is telling you the truth. You are a close friend and he enjoys your company and the things you do together but he is not attracted to you sexually to want to call you his date or a galfriend. He doesn't have the sparks for you, hence he sees you as a friend/sister that he can't get kinky with.

If a man hasn't asked you to be his galfriend even if you've had sex, don't lie to yourself that he's your boyfriend. What more do you want when the guy himself has denied with his mouth that you are not dating. You sound dissappointed because you have different expectations. My advice is, start shopping around and don't introduce him to your male friends just incase they make an assumption that you are dating him. Stop doing the non-stop cooking and make yourself available to the singles world. He's wasting your time.

if you think you've made it,think again

melissa1973 · (#4 (**permalink**))

Thanks for your reply catskill85. On the paying part you are very wrong. Actually he always spends more than I do. And when we go out, I rarely have to pay.
So you think he is just around to get some?

Dem Gal · (#5 (**permalink**))

From one girl to the other "RUN FORREST, RUN!!". He is a playa, kabisa. He has the classical characteristics of one. E.g. Can't visit his digs, wants an 'undefined' relationship, spending money on you, having a great time but not wanting a commitment etc. You deserve much more than that. Staying with him longer will end up hurting your feelings. Better let it go at 5 months than after a year of your wasted time. I won't be surprised if he has a wife or a steady girlfriend.

meja · (#6 (**permalink**))

>From one girl to the other "RUN FORREST, RUN!!".

Hahaha!! :7 You cracked me up there...

>He is a
>playa, kabisa.

I think he is immature.

Beenie_gal · (#7 (**permalink**))

U r being played gal!!

http://pics-21.hi5.com/userpics/421/...img.medium.jpg

+DONT HATE THE PLAYA, HATE THE GAME+

nyambu · (#8 (**permalink**))

>I won't be surprised if he has a wife or a steady girlfriend.

thats true maybe the wife or girlfriend is always at his place that is why you never get there.
you better bail out now while you can.soon you will start asking if being a concubine is so wrong?lol that dude is married!!!!!! ama he is very much committed to someone else.
after you give him some some and he gets tired he will leave you high and dry.

Wantai · (#9 (**permalink**))

girl, u gotta run from now, that is u haven't started. Hakuna mazuri mbele with this guy, find somebody else to hang out with.

ka joe · (#10 (**permalink**))

Hii story niaje...looking for the good part...couldn't find it in the story..(i don't assume shiit). amazed how y'all seem to miss it..does he "HIT IT"? cos if he doesn't...yapp...GAY!! fungua macho..;-)