[cwangari]

I would just like to know what constitutes a good relationship,is it the S3X, good conversation, normal in laws, humility, finances, education, ambitions, outgoingness, commitment, being open about previous relationships, thoughtfulness, someone ready to go fifty fifty in everything, a good listner, social network, job, manners, looks....? Where would you rate your current relationship based on the above, on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the worst and 5 being the best?

[Kida_lipo]

>
>I would just like to know what constitutes a good
>relationship,is it the S3X, good conversation, normal in
>laws, humility, finances, education, ambitions, outgoingness,
>commitment, being open about previous relationships,
>thoughtfulness, someone ready to go fifty fifty in everything,
>a good listner, social network, job, manners, looks....? Where
>would you rate your current relationship based on the above,
>on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being the worst and 5 being the
>best?

This is my take...
There's nothing like a 'perfect' rship- what peeps do is try as much as they can to accomodate each other in watever they deem ok for both.
Sexx is a major factor here. In todays world, youngsters discover sexx earlier in life, hence it flows all the way into relationships as they come & go.If u suck in bed, he'll either try to understand where u r coming from (wangare u r still a V, yes?) and teach u a few trick OR he'll bounce!
A couple must 'communicate' in all aspects of life-literally. Finances are tricky s'times if u r a golddigger.Say u aint working and he's paying ur bills, maintenance et-al, then u must be patient enaff when he tells u leo hakuna $$ za clubbing. If u have a joint account (in this case u r living together or married), then transparency is key- remember monie is root cause of all problems (or so they say)
Did u mention commitment? Gurl...u must be 101% faithful if u wanna stay with ya manno. Guys are more jealouse than chiqs and less forgiving. If ur jamaa suspects s'thing smelly- he'll drop u like u r hot coal.
Previous r'ships dont count much cos every one has a past. If there are still some dirty laundry in his closet, discuss this with him. If he loves u, then viola! will be gone.
Women like 'being-listened-to' by there spouces/partners etc. Dont worry, ur man will pretend to "listen" to you all thro' although his mind will be elsewhere..no problem- at least he seemed to "listen" no?
Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder..ooops, beholder. There's the physical beauty and the inner beauty. Its upto you to decide if u really wanna have drop dead hunk who cheats on u or an average looking jamaa who will be there for ya. Looks cud be deceiving so choose wisely.
Lastly: where i rate my current rship????mmmmmhhh, i wanna put it at 5, given that the gurl in the picture is..........ahem, angelwingz do i have the permission?


...Aint stopping till the fat lady sings

[TeamManager]

assuming you are asking about a loving relationship and not a lustful relationship then.......

Love and respect.
Be patient, be kind, dont be selfish, don't be self-seeking, don't be easily angered, keep no record of wrongs. Don't delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

[cwangari]

>assuming you are asking about a loving relationship and not a
>lustful relationship then.......
>
>Love and respect.
>Be patient, be kind, dont be selfish, don't be self-seeking,
>don't be easily angered, keep no record of wrongs. Don't
>delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
>Always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
>perseveres.

It depends on what you want to call it! I was thinking about a loving relationship.

Sometimes, I feel my partner expects too much. There are simple household tasks, he finds it hard to do! Laundry, dishes for example, and this sometimes drives me up the wall! These are some of the things that make me question the relationship! Is he making me his mbooch?

[TeamManager]

>Sometimes, I feel my partner expects too much. There are
>simple household tasks, he finds it hard to do! Laundry,
>dishes for example, and this sometimes drives me up the wall!
>These are some of the things that make me question the
>relationship! Is he making me his mbooch?

Maybe its just a case of poor upbringing. When you are not around does he do his own 'household task'? Or does he get 'someone else'?

BTW, did you 'impressing' him by your cooking and neat household AND are now changing the rules.

Find a way to discuss the issue with him.

[Nxele]

I think the best relationship (read: NOT perfect relationship, coz that exists only in the text book and journals) is when u and ur partner are BOTH lovers and friends. Why lie after some time the love dies away , dwindles aways , fades away as howling storms of fear and doubt assail. When it gets to that point the only thing that can hold u together is the friendship.
You might see partners who transfer the spousal-love to their kids coz they can love their spouse no more.
So I think it's always better when ur both lovers and friends. Juu when the person who loved u ,stops to love u it's only the friends that remain to salvage you.

[KEMINOKANA]

I wanna hear what Crazy boo has to say on this before I hand in my application. I think I have a crush on her :) :)

[crazy boo]

>I wanna hear what Crazy boo has to say on this before I hand
>in my application. I think I have a crush on her :) :)


here I come....hey dude stop putting me on the spot namna hiyo...Like nxele has said I think peeps who are friends and lovers is a good scenario..lakini hata hivyo ni muhimu peeps to highly respect each other and be faithful...I believe breaching someone's trust is the one thing that messes up everything.Personally I don't to be put in the "private investigator" profession...kila wakati ati I'm supposed to be calling,tracking and a pair of binoculars...Its not worth my time!....mmmm and did I say lying..yes lying...reason...i don't lie and that shyiet drives me berserk.God help the pathological liers...that's the one thing that probably holds a lot of weight in me. ahhhhhhem to summarize..:D I think if s'one doesn't lie..then trust is established...

all the above was for a good and at least within "liveable limits" for social and emotional status...about physical side...compability is a must but ofcourse that varies from individual to individual...don't want to hurt(emotionally & physically) my frame for the rest of my life...hata kama tuko marafiki wa kufa kuzikana...hapana..there are some things we can fix lakini zingine only the owners can deal with 'em

wangari has broken down these things so much but good manners and a well groomed person comes in handy.


plea:If anyone understands spanish can they please tell me what Shakira's New video "NO" means....I love that woman's voice(plus belly dancing) and I can see she sings with a lot of emotion in this song....wanna know so baaaaaaaad

[KEMINOKANA]

Looks like we are on the same page....ahem :)

One other ingredient for a good relationship is self respect and respect for your partner. It is not amusing to see your girl/guy flirt with other people and when you ask, they say they r just teasing them. So give what you expect to receive and give it whole heartedly. So is acceptance. One leg in, one leg out is a recipe for disaster.

One thing that I've always lacked in my relationships is empathy. I thought women were to be emphatetic but so far I am yet to see one. You can come home from work, tired and stressed as hell, and the first conversation you have is who left the toothpaste open. Jameni! And when you say you are worn out, the next question is "why"? For God's sake it's work! Whatever happened to things like "I am sorry".

There are times for tough conversations, times for real life conversations, times for romantic conversations, times for sex, making out and etc. A good relationship is where partners can balance their selfishness to get along with those situations.

And of course the rest has been said.

So C.B, u should get my application ASAP lakini how?

[cwangari]

>
>BTW, did you 'impressing' him by your cooking and neat
>household AND are now changing the rules.
>
>Find a way to discuss the issue with him.

I did not impress him in anyway, I just did what I thought was right at the time, and I assumed that perhaps working as team would be more effective! Nway, I have raised this issue a million times, and my bubble is just about to burst!