[binti 1]

Did they say men are from Mars and Women from Venus

Binti

Male Perspective on Relationship Building
submitted by Robert C. Cooper

18 tongue-in-cheek tips for success, as humorously suggested by DA FELLAS!

1. Learn to Embrace Sports.
Ladies say they want "a real man," and it's a fact that real men love
sports. So if you know this, learn to enjoy watching a sporting event
with your man... At LEAST learn the damn terminology. Nothing drives a man faster to drink than hearing his girlfriend scream "TOUCHDOWN!!!" at a freakin' basketball game.

2. Get to Know Your Man's Friends.
Ladies: here's a tip for some of ya'll... If you want some insight on
your man's behavior, just observe and study his boys. Most of the time. I repeat MOST of the time, birds of a feather flock together. Valuable information can be discerned if you know what to look for.

3. Don't Use Your Man's Pager For Games.
This is something I hate... and so does every brutha out there:
blowing up our pagers for some dumb ####. Ladies, do not page our ass to say "I was just thinking about you" when what you really wanted to know was where we are and when we coming by your crib. Look ladies: "We are where we at, and we'll stop by when we stop by." Let a brutha have some uninterrupted fun... damn!

4. Get Yours First.
Do not look for a man to provide for you outside of the bedroom.
There are too many opportunities in this world... get yours and build on what he has. Some of you gold diggers are walking the streets broke today 'cuz you tried this bull####. Take yours and add to his, to make ours.

5. Stop Being So Desperate and Easy.
If I hear about one more so-called educated sistah who "got it going
on" fall for the first fool that comes along, I'll scream!! Ladies. Ladies.
LADIES!! There are good men out there. Have some damn patience for God's sake! Just because a man buys you a candlelight dinner, drives a phat car, has a decent job and some cash, does NOT make him a good man...unless that's all YOU look for in a man. If you want a good man, you might have some lonely nights until you find one. But don't settle. We are out there! Don't go looking for us, let nature take its course.

6. Do Not Answer Our Phone.
Ladies: do not answer our phone unless we give you permission or your damn name is on the bill. Exactly what are you trying to find out? Nine times out of ten... you're not answering the phone because you're being nice or trying to be helpful... you're trying to find out who's calling us. Trust me, once we commit, you can pick up the phone sometimes (key word... sometimes) but until then, the jury is still out on your status. Be glad he even let you in his place.

7. Learn How to Freak Your Man.
Do not get this twisted! We enjoy making love to you ladies, but not
every damn night. Every now and then, let go. Do not think, just do.
If you are unsure of how to freak your man, ask your man... we have no hang-ups about being very specific. Believe me, your man will love you for it and you'll have more fun your damn self. Damn... almost forgot! Learn to swallow. If you think a good man is hard to find and a hard man is good to find... consider this: a woman who swallows is hard to leave. Ask any brutha. [Editor note: this is not a safe sex practice and is not endorsed nor recommended by this website]

8. Learn How to Cook.
Now this does not apply to most women, but it DAMN sure applies to
some of ya'll. Some women today find it demeaning to cook for their man... like it's a crime or some ####. WRONG!! Ladies if you want to get and keep a man happy, learn to cook something besides hot dogs and hamburgers. If you get home before he does, put a pot on the stove and break out the cookbook.

9. Get To Know Your Man Before You Commit.
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: you cannot learn the basic information about a person in one week. Some of you suckahs... oops... I mean sistahs, be rushin' to tell your girls that you met Mr. Right... after one night or one weekend. Hell, I still can't remember a woman's last name after one WEEK, let alone what she likes and dislikes. In the beginning, we men are on our best behavior. If our game is tight, you couldn't detect a flaw in us if you tried. Give us three months...if we still got you on cloud nine, then take a chance with us... we're not good at holding charades for long...

10. Let Us Sleep.
If we work hard all week and want to sleep in on Saturday or take a nap in the evening, damnit let us do it! Don't be waking us up for no silly ass ####: "Baby, lets go for a ride" "Baby, let's go to the park"- stuff like that. The park and country scenery ain't going nowhere, but yo ass just might if you keep messing up our sleep.

11. Keep Our Bathroom Clean.
This one will get your house privileges revoked if you don't learn to correct it with a quickness. Many men, keep their bathrooms neat. You don't find our sinks filled with long ass pieces of hair, nor our bathtubs. Nor will you find our hair brushes full of hair follicles. Is it that ya'll like to putting your bodily hair throughout our bathrooms, to mark your "so-called" territory?? If so, stop it now. Keep our bathroom like you found it and take your curling iron with you when you leave. PS, If your man's bathroom was messy when you found it, clean it up or don't complain.

12. Respect Your Man's Car When You Drive It or Ride in It.
If you are indeed lucky enough to have a man with a car, and even more so, a man who trusts you to drive his car while he is not in it, show some damn respect. Drive it like it's a Rolls Royce, even if it is a
Tercel. Don't be running up on curbs, messing up the finish on our tires, and scratching up our wheels. Do not have lunch while you try to drive our ride, and don't be leaving your damn hair, lipstick, and #### behind thinking you slick.

3. Wash Your Own Damn Car For Once.
Why is it that we have to mess up our damn Saturdays to wash your car on top of busting our ass to wash our own??!! Is our name on the lien? On the note? Are we making payments? I don't think so. Half of the time, your #### is more messed up than ours anyway. Why is it that you wait till we out the door to ask us to clean your nasty ass car? When you see us out there, use this time to bond with your man and bring your lazy ass outside. Now don't get me wrong... cleaning your car every once in a while is not too much to ask, just in the meantime do it yourself. Don't wait until your car hasn't seen soap and water in a month and a half to ask us to wash it.

14. Shopping Malls.
Okay. Once it has been established that your man does not like to
spend his weekend being dragged from mall to mall and store to store, respect that. Ladies: do not tell your man, "Let's go to the mall, I only have to get some stockings," then proceed to drag us from store to store... then have the nerve to get an attitude. A man can only last in the mall an hour without wanting to strangle you, keep that in mind, ladies. One more thing: if your man does not like going to the store to buy feminine products, don't ask him. You should know when that time of the month is by now... why the hell don't you have any tampons or maxi pads in the first place??

15. Be On Time For Once.
Oh yes! This applies to YOU. Ladies, if your man tells you that you're always late getting ready, listen to him. Some of ya'll can't accept this fact. There are some of ya'll who know you stay late and do nothing to change this and have the nerve to get upset with us, 'cuz we tell you to hurry up when you already 30 minutes late. Something is wrong here.

16. Learn How To Wash Our Clothes.
If you're going to wash clothes for your man, damnit take the time to find out how we like our stuff cleaned and washed. Every man has at least three shirts that he washes, but never touch the dryer. Or those pants that are washed, but never dried all the way. These are important things you should find out before catching a beatdown for shrinking your man's Tommy's. Just kidding, Tommy's ain't worth a beatdown... But our Nautica gear is....

17. Don't Trip When We Stare At Pretty Women.
Now I know this one is hard to swallow, but try. First and foremost, we are men, and, like it or not, it is in our nature to look at what we find attractive. A quick glance at an oncoming female is not a sign of disrespect to you. Once we start turning around to check out that ass...then it's outta bounds. Do not act like ya'll don't do the same...ya'll just better at it than we are. Besides: how will we know how beautiful you are if we don't have a point of reference?

18. Trust, Respect, and Communication.
If I have to tell you that these are the foundations and essentials in any relationship, then your dumb ass don't need to be in one.

[dudette]

1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.

2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

3. Don't say you understand when you don't.

4. Girls are petty, get over it.

5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.

6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

7. If you talk about having a big ####, we know you don't.

8. Zit's happen to everyone. Yes, Mr. Perfect, even to you.

9. We don't like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big.

10.A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

11. No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a pig.

12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

15. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.

16. We are drama queens.

17. Fashion police do exist.

18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.

19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc.

20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.

22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.

24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it's not.

25. Don't compare our breasts with Brittany Spear's, hers are fake.

26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps. (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.)

28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't.

29. It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else.

30. If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't.

[ET]

>>22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

...thanx to the gossip;shytty...women/gaylikebloks=gossip mongers

[ET]

ofcourse,we being general and relative here,assuming all uve typed applies to every1 on earth.and wen i said gossip mongers i meant statquot&&&empty goons with nothing constructive to talk about&&&endquot.

[jonney_2]

Things would be a lot easier if the telephone wasn't invented...escpecially the mobile phone....I know what i'm saying!\Who else get's me...?
"Intelligence is the flower of discrimination............and all!

[pussycat]

To add on dudettes'

1. While watching your sports, get your own damn beer. And if it so happens I know more about sports than you, tough, live with it.

2. If you ask me to meet you, I expect you and not you and your buddies

3. If you ask me for a dance, please do know how to dance. There is nothing as stupid as being in a club and teaching a man how to dance

4. You come to my place, leave it the way you found it. Respect will be shown to yours too.

5. Just because I'm at your place doesn't mean I can cook, clean, or do your laundry. What do you think I'am, your momma?. If your bathroom is disgusting, 99% of them are, hire a maid. I will and you will pay for it.

6. If you don't have a car, I'm not picking your arse up. Sometimes I would, otherwise, get your own ride. And no way are you driving my car.

7. I have no problem giving you bjs. DO NOT push my head towards Mr. Johnson. And the way I swallow it, if I do, is my own business. Do you know how big some of you are and you insist on pushing my head? Stop that. And my name is not a biatch, s lut or wh ore.

8. I enjoy to be eaten. if you don't know how, grab a mango and practice. And please do get pedicures and manicures. I don't want to walk around with cuts in my cootchie.

9. Do not tell me on the 1st date how you want to have kids with me. some of us are vulnerable and we believe you. Be precise and don't talk trash if you don't mean it. You lay your cards on the table, I'll respect you for that.

10. If I'm fit and you like it, please do sit ups and lose the beer gut. And yes, I can choose your outfit, your sense of style is non-existent. If you had one you would be gay


"Everyone has his allotted day, Short and irrecoverable is the lifetime of all; But to extend our frame by deeds,
This is the task of greatness"

[pipitp]

1. Don't be a sissy (be different from women, no whining)
2. Be important (be superior to others)
3. Be tough (be self-sufficient, don't be a quitter)
4. Be powerful (be strong and dominate others, even by violence .. oooppsss)

[nyawera_1]

Your friends are not the smartest, most fun individuals in the world. They are ill-mannered, annoying and immature drunks. In college it was cute, now it’s just sad.