for anyone who can answer.

pam34 · (#1 (**permalink**))

how does a lady deal with the pressure of being expected to have a man by her side and still a mintain high self esteem. I'm mean if i'm gonna date someone, then he has to be worth it. I can't just go out with someone for the sake of being seen with a man. My friends think i'm unrealistic..what do you think?

MercedesK · (#2 (**permalink**))

I think you are realistic :).

lauri · (#3 (**permalink**))

Pam, the part where u say for u to go out with a man he has to be worth it, and not just for the sake e.t.c, that's definetly realistic.

However, I don't quite understand the association between having a man by ur side and not being able to hold high self esteem. Forgive me if I'm misquoting u...but are u saying that women who have men at their sides (all the time???) have low self esteem?

Dem Gal · (#4 (**permalink**))

You don't have to get a man out of pressure from your friends, let it happen because you found THE one man you've always wanted. You don't need to compromise your standards for the sake of pleasing everyone, you can NEVER please everyone.

Be true to yourself. Ultimately that is what matters.

Mswahili · (#5 (**permalink**))

Kwani you go with what your friends expect of you? Pam you define who you are and you set your limits. Will you compromise yourself for Tyron the ghetto bum with two gold/copper teeth and a whoopty for a car, jobless, bangi-infected, chicken eating dude just coz your buddies think he is what you should be with or he is more of a set standard for you according to them? Or would you rather choose the jamaa that cuts the line for you and exceeds all your expectations? Pam this is you and your friends should learn how to encourage and appreciate and respect your opinions and choices. If you go with what they say umepotea sana. But to answer your question....no you are not unrealistic you beilieve that you deserve the best then I say get a man that compliments you i.e intelligent, funny, well presented you know the drill. Dont settle for a whoooshe dude. ight? Its all about YOU not your buddies. And if they cant deal with that it waambiye wasukume mavi.

Dem Gal · (#6 (**permalink**))

> And if they cant deal with
>that it waambiye wasukume mavi.

LOL!! Mswahili kweli una vituko!

Now that is what I call, cutting the crap and putting the point across!

isso · (#7 (**permalink**))

@Pam....

Just a shot in the dark here....Curious about the 34 thing on your handle....Is that your age??? Perhaps the reason why your friends are a touch worried that your stance on this issue is being affected by you fast approaching a perceived sell by date.

I know there's that "I have my principle" stuff....but maybe your friends are just concerned that there could be a danger of not getting got by playing hard to get....

Just fishing....sio kwa ubaya (I learnt that the other day)....

~~Money may not buy you more friends, but it definitely attracts a better class of enemies~~

pam34 · (#8 (**permalink**))

@mswahili..that was very encouraging. All you've you stated is my way of reasoning. But my friends think i'm after perfection. I'm mean there nothing wrong with wanting a good man.

pam34 · (#9 (**permalink**))

@isso..pliz list some of the ways a chick plays hard to get. I could be doing it. But i don't think rejecting a jamaa with upuzi is playing hard to get.

pam34 · (#10 (**permalink**))

@isso..34 is not my age. Infact i'm about 12 years younger!