[AfricanPride]

Musithe kwani where were you those days Mercedesk was throwing a farewell bash? I know that girl though she is really noisy and she can burst your eardrums. Lakini im not her just for the record. In fact I joined when she was still around.....

[Musithe]

I liked her. I don't mind her bursting my eardrums ............. you still do sound like her plus you locked out every way of communicating privately. You endagered? i can elevate that to threatened:7 :7

[AfricanPride]

Ai Musithe ati you liked her? HAHAHAHA...that was funny. On the real I am not Mercedesk. Oh and as for blocking the ratings and emails I am just poor in replying those things so I rather not have them you know....
lakini wewe unakaa you are a bit hyper. How old are you anyways? Swali tuu usikasirike lol.

[pipitp]

african pride = mercedesk??? i should give that some thought ...

[slaggard]

pitipit....cut that psychology crap in relationships.we dont need the proffessionals either to tell us what we need to do with our lives. if communication fails btwn two people...let them figure out themselves. some of these things just need one of the two to step down their ignorance.
we all have a unique way of socializing, and folks click different. some people can be hurt by too much honesty,,,others lies,,,,,so let us learn each other by been ourselves and the rest will fall in place.

[pipitp]

Therapists talk enough about communication that you'd think we were born incapable of expressing ourselves. Actually, most of us can express ourselves pretty well. But do we do it effectively enough? When there is an argument, it's the rare member of the couple who does not know the other is mad or upset. But does their partner know why, really?
The point of communication as an issue in couple’s therapy is to establish a new, different mode of communication that becomes only one of a number of ways of relating and expressing oneself. An argument may be the only way to let feelings out... initially. What makes communication-savvy partners more effective in their relationship is their ability to communicate after the argument phase is over... their feelings of vulnerability, their hurt, their expectations and hopes -- in essence, everything that didn't get expressed during the argument.
Some feelings are particularly difficult or embarrassing to report to our partners, for reasons of upbringing, culture, or natural inclination. Examples include issues around sex, around money, around the expression of anger, children's upbringing, and feelings of loneliness or discomfort around times of separation.

Do you get the need of people going to therapists for help now?

[Zelda]

Pipitp, I wish u had posted this thread earlier, I could have used some of those tips.Life sucks! jus venting

[jmburus]

>What makes communication-savvy partners more >effective in their relationship is their ability >to communicate after the argument phase is >over... their feelings of vulnerability, their >hurt, their expectations and hopes -- in >essence, everything that didn't get expressed >during the argument


Sasa pip... ulikuwa wapi sato ? ... u bad gal.. eh ?I will hunt u down and... he he

Anyway what u just said make alot of sense.. what I want to ask is... Is the argument an important part of the "communication" ... does it serve a role, can coulpes do without it . I am asking this bcoz some things said during the argument cannot be pardoned or reviewed even in the sane "communication " phase that comes after the argument. I feel that if the argument could be avoided ...the better..

[slaggard]

pipit......u gettin too technical about common issues.....an instinct born in all living things. living beings will communicate at any time....rem silence is also a form of communication.
we dont need therapist or proffessional help to work out our communication channels. actually if i am not mistaken, a good psychologist will always ask u to follow your will. they never make decisions for u, but encourage peeps to steer towards their goals. so, cant a friend or confidant do the same? the reason some people need therapists is because they are lonely and have no one to share with, or no one gives them a chance to listen. so gal, when u step in that proffesinals office, dont expect him/her to run yah life.......they listen, then ask, what do u want and why?...after that, its all about u.

[Tildy]

I hear You.
I also think we should add Communication with Ultimatums or Threats.This only serve to accomplish short term goals in any relationship and after a while the other party doesn't really care whether the threats are carried out or not.If one is insecure about an issue, bring it out and discuss it and get solutions.