[Dearly]

its all about trust... pple who dont trust their guys/chics will be controlling coz they dont trust the other person to be ok w/out the control.. some its all about jealousy and possesiveness feeling if i cant spend time with him/her then nobody else will.... Anywayz i feel its all about trust and communication to prevent all this control issues

[zimmy]

Dearly... i too think that's it ;)

[muombaji]

never forget ..a controlling man is usually hiding something...playas love control...that way they know they can do their dirty work away from the chile...

a party ain't a party ...if it ain't naughty...

[dush]

Controlling men are the worst and even when they are your ex they tag along and follow your ass everywhere. My ex calls me at 4am in the morning to ask if I am sleeping with anyone. I am like WTF? Ati, "I am on my break at work and I wanted to know who's in your bed?" The nerve. Ex means ex Dayum
Another one followed me the whole bash and even told his friends to watch over me. I go to the bathroom, they follow, I go outside, they follow again
I need to talk to that dude good thing he lives 2 hours away from me PHEW

[keyplayer]

Men are different, and as in every relationship, someone has to wear the trousers. Personally, I prefer the woman to wear the trousers. That however, does not call for itinerary accounts to be made.

[g]

THINK U ARE CONTROLLED?
I jua this cute little gal who weighs at less than 90lbs. Before she met her jamaa she was slightly over 90lbs... but has been loosing weight as time goes(don'task what the relevance to the topic is)
Anyways my gal here is one of those 'softest' spoken pple that you have to ask to repeat stuff several times so that u can hear what she is saying. This gal is the kind that can not tell a fly 'bu!'.

She hooked up with a jamaa or he forced himself on her or scared the crap out of her paka now they are together (using church and other mean things).
Some of the things he did was to read all he emails and specifically some from a jaamaa she was buddies with before they met and stood there as she emailed the guy and told him not to write to her no more.
He broke off her cell phone intentionally.
There were other incedences that i cannot reveal but somethings that led her roomie and us to believe that if she left the guy he is the kind that would even kill someone.

The gal already had a fairly new car when they hooked up but she has not driven it since this jamaa started dominating her.
He drives her to work, picks her up.
he drives her to the salon and back, shopping,
when she goes for interviews he has to come along and make sure that there is no young man that she will come into contact with.
he drives her to her parents house and back(since they are here in states too)

But what is interesting is that the guy can go to and from anywhere he wants.

The other day we were talking and she was telling us that she cannot leave him because she does not know how to.

Anyways, I feel if u do not want to be controlled then you will not be but some people like it although they will not admit to it, some people have just grown up in homes where their mother's were laliwad so much and as such they think that is the way it should be. I can't understand how this gal can breath while surfocated like that. We tried talking to her at first but gave up since she does not think that she can get away from this guy.

Sorry for the long post ... but i just wanted to share this. (pls disregard any sp mistakes)

[Mystique]

>Women have to be controlled.Bottom line
>is we pay for them ( bride price) thats
>makes them without question our
>property.From the day they leave the
>fathers house and enter there husbands
>home women are deprived of all rights
>and are solely to please the husband and
>bare / rare children.Please confirm with
>john:12:6.I hope i have answered your
>question.

She ain't married yet nor are they living together. They haven't even got kids. :'(

No one is anyone's property. Only chauvenistic males think that just because they paid dowry they have every right to treat their women like s.h.i.t. Try reading a revised edition of the bible. God did not make woman to be man's property. We are both equal in his eyes.

Common sense will prevail but not all sense is common

[rexymm7]

I think you've got your issues mixed up. control in relationships is not a guy thing. it exists among both sexes. so to answer your question, control is not something that is done to you. it is something you LET someone do to you. if u slip into the submissive persona, someone is bound to take up the place of dominance and basically rule your life. I never understand why women or men for that matter stand this. why would u LET yourself be in a relationship with someone who does not respect your privacy and allow you some breathing space. this issue is not about the controllers but about the controlees. they do not have the confidence to hold their own and live their lives. they are always in the mental states which the repressors want them to be in. and believe u men, until that galfriend of yours learns that she's a person who deserves all the respect, she will always doubt her credibility in this world. :9

[nefertiti]

woishe g! Your friend needs to toughen up kidogo.Bana she is in states.There are many ways she can give him the slip. Kwani she doesn't have other male pals? What about brothers? No brothers?
aaaaaaaaahhhh si she has akina you,her pals. Y'all should plot and bail her out! I think there is nothing worse than staying with someone who freaks you out (shiver!)!