[Kangeta]

No, its not really about sex if you ask me.

My view is that in the "modern" money economy as relates to these so-called relationships, men are the unsuspecting prey, while women are the merciless blood sucking predators. Most women are looking for security, status, shelter, etc. and are looking for a man who can provide these things.

So for a man, to commit is to agree to take on another mammoth burden for the rest of your life where you agree to be nagged constantly, give up your privacy, freedom, and lifestyle etc.

You gotta be sure fellas! Me? I say DON'T DO DAT SHT!!!!!!

[mwananchi_]

1. It's not FEAR. It's just that one is not ready to commit at the moment OR to their current partner

2. It affects both men and women equally

3. Women mature faster than men. So if age-mates are dating the woman may feel the need to settle before the man

4. Kenyana and Brownsugar hit the nail on the head

[brownsugar]

Kangeta....all that you have said goes both ways.
Women love freedom, independence and all that good stuff.
And in this modern day we are able to provide for ourselves what a man can provide and more.
so there.........

[Nubian queen]

I second, third and fourth Kenyana, Brownsugar and er....oneliner on this!!!

[Twangalife]

No matter what angle you look at it,commitment nowdays scares both sides. Maybe coz of the way the society has changed. But independent women are more nasty in character than men.For if the society favoured them more than men then we would be all in hell....dont blast me as male....but it is a fact

[Chameleon]

I strongly believe that if Men had a choice, they would never get married.

Its very common for women to arm twist men into marriage, even after some few months of dating.

[brownsugar]

Chameleon? Are U serious?Arm twist for marriage? I guess u r hooking up with the wrong kind...;-)

[KEMINOKANA]

THAT IS NOT TRUE. I JUST BROKE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND OVER THE ISSUE. SHE SAYS SHE IS SCARED OF COMMITTMENT COZ SHE DOESNT WANNA LIVE WITH THE SAME PERSON IN HER WHOLE LIFE. REMEMBER THIS IS A SERIOUS THING I AM SAYING HERE. GALS AND BOYS ARE ALL THE SAME WHEN IT COMES TO COMMITTMENT. SOME WANT TO HAVE FUN THINKING ITS GONNA BE THERE FOR LIFE. THEY FORGET THAT AGING IS ALWAYS THERE....AND BY TRYING NOT TO BE RESPONSIBLE IN A RESPONSIBLE RELATIONSHIP IS JUST CREATING A LIFETIME NIGHTMARE.

BUT, IT ALL DEPENDS ON HOW PEOPLE THINK. IF YOU WANT KUTOMBA....PUSSIIES ARE THERE....AND KAMA NI KUTOMBWA.....DIICKS ARE THERE. AND IF YOU WANT MARRIAGE, THERE ARE TONNES OF SERIOUS MEN AND WOMEN OUT THERE. CATCH ONE....LOL....I AM LOOKING FOR A SERIOUS ONE....WILL YOU BE THE ONE?/

[juddge]

Question to all..
is it a fear to be with -in a committment- or maybe to be without ..
sometimes i sit and wonder

[g]

I agree with chameleon 100% if men had a choice marriage would not be it.... boozing, sports and sex would be top of the list.

I think men are scared coz being married or committed is not macho and they'll be told that they are 'p**sy whipped' they also want to be able to sleep around with anyone or seem like they can do that as they please which is demonstrated by being and staying single.....
on the other hand some women don't care if they love a guy and will use any means possible to 'trap' a jamaa.... all they want is to tie his behind down and make him misearable... or are just after his money...or to be seen that they have a man or are married..... happiness is not part of it.... and that is enough reason for any brotha to be scared.

i think both parties care too much about what pple think and thus motivating them to either not want to commit or demand for commitment.

Those ladies that are saying women are afraid of commitment.... i greet u (nindamugeithia).... Women are not afraid of commitment women are afraid of being hurt despite this equality issue's men and women will never be the same and there's no way u can convience this sister that a gal will be afraid of getting tied.... phuliz... try another....