chik confusing me!!

[Devine]

Originally Posted by msema ukweli Kabisa

Or maybe that was not you down there. Anyway if the chic had come straight and told the guy... hey I need some time I would have also kinda agreed with you and Frag

But she first lengad his calls, stood him up on dates etc. When he finally asked wasup that is when she told him she needs space

No, that wasn't me. She went about it the wrong way at first, but now he needs to be firm and get specific answers because it's still possible that she may want out of this relationship but it's not over till it's over. I say he has her say explicitly that it's over. Remember this was a 2 year relationship and he is devastated by the break-up. If he's not ready to break up with her, he shouldn't. But if he is, then he should, but he shouldn't just make assumptions. My advice, ask her how much time she needs, if it's too long for him, let him tell her how much time he'll give her, then... give her time and space. Then see what happens.

[msema ukweli Kabisa]

Originally Posted by Devine

No, that wasn't me. She went about it the wrong way at first, but now he needs to be firm and get specific answers because it's still possible that she may want out of this relationship but it's not over till it's over. I say he has her say explicitly that it's over. Remember this was a 2 year relationship and he is devastated by the break-up. If he's not ready to break up with her, he shouldn't. But if he is, then he should, but he shouldn't just make assumptions. My advice, ask her how much time she needs, if it's too long for him, let him tell her how much time he'll give her, then... give her time and space. Then see what happens.

What you have written up there is the reason why its hard to dump a chic.

That is the rationale that she uses even after you put a restraining order and change locks on her..

It has been 4 years, it cant end like that lol. I want an explicit explanation..... By the way am talking about personal experience just a with a tad of exageration

[Devine]

Originally Posted by msema ukweli Kabisa

What you have written up there is the reason why its hard to dump a chic.

That is the rationale that she uses even after you put a restraining order and change locks on her..

It has been 4 years, it cant end like that lol. I want an explicit explanation..... By the way am talking about personal experience just a with a tad of exageration

But what is so hard? I just want them to be clear with each other. It's obvious he can't take the 'abuse' then he should tell her that. But she may be so bogged down with her own issues and not see it as abuse. I'm all about clarification, and being straight forward, otherwise we make wrong assumptions.

Her just had a baby n the guy ran for the hills, her poor dad is crying. Dad crying would stop me in my tracks and shut me down for a while, so I can see where she's coming from.

[Unsigned Hype]

Originally Posted by msema ukweli Kabisa

Unsighed sometimes when someone breaks a relationship it does not mean they are seeing someone else. If you go that route you will hurt yourself because a heartbreak and jelousy are a bad combination.

You told us she did not cheat on you she just started pulling back...... that does happen sometimes. What starts sometimes has to come to an end

Be the big man in this. You are hurting I know but for one if she sends you a text (a lot of chics never know how to cut it cleanly esp if they used to care about you) just reply with two words

don't go go this route



Because when you do you are empowering her more and just hurting yourself more..........

As I told you keep yourself busy and by the way if you drink alcohol that helps too sometime but dont doo 3am calling or texting right.....

Hit the mashada chat and even facebook and soon you will meet someone else. But first enjoy being single sawa

thnks MUk...i dnt knw bt smetyms i js feel u sound genius.. its hard for me rait nw ur advice seems lyk u've known me or us,thx 1nce more am now tryh to move a day at a time.

[Unsigned Hype]

Originally Posted by Fraglante

Woishe pole….I feel your pain.

I don’t want to read other comments coz I want to give you an unadulterated opinion of vile naifeel.

When she says its not you, trust her its not you. A time comes when a girl just needs space. Sio kwa ubaya and neither does she mean to hurt you but she needs her space. This may sound harsh but let me tell it to you straight because I cant tell my beau…..and your girl cant tell you either.

Maybe she has problems (her family issues) and you don’t seem to understand. If anything you are making it worse for her. Its hard to explain but the last thing she needs in her life right now is more problems and in as much as she loves you, you are adding to her problems even without knowing.

Just give her space. Let her sort herself out. Maybe its her hormones or something but only she can sort herself out. Take a step back and let her breath. Don’t be in a hurry to move on either she will come around trust me. 2 years you said? She wunt throw that out the window just like that. In any case one…. two months isn’t such a long time to wait for her now is it?

Frag you r rait 2 months aint along tym.. i know pple who have groken longer than that n yet came bk..wat am i js cnt seem to understand is y she hs to do it all of a sudden.there ws not even a previous fight..all i did was pester her to take me smewhere n she refused without reason n that bcame a bigg issue.I mean would u pester a chik to take u smewher if u really didnt lyk love her.as av said evrything hs js been ok..lyk my b/day was las july 20th.n she went out of her way n bought me an expensive pair of jeans n a pair of timbs n a cake,card n all the small thing of bday.Frag would u spend a considerable amount of ur saving on a guy know you u'll break with or not reaaly into???considerin she's in colle n not earning thats y i say she must have spent alot on her pocket mny.n so me wondebt u advice is pointon cz i've communicated to her n told her to have all th tym she nid.thx Frag 4 ur advice

[Unsigned Hype]

Originally Posted by msema ukweli Kabisa

Frag its not just about sex....

She no longer turns up for his dates
She no longer replies his texts
she no longer returns or picks up his cals.


Ati she wasnts to keep the lines open...No she wants to keep her options open. And that is very cruel after asking for "space" despite of the gender


If this was a chic asking this advise the number of girls who would have come on the thread advising the girl to dumb that sucker this thread would have been like 20 pages long. Am actually tempted to go to archives to prove my point.......

Muk ur are funny bt u r rait... i guess if it was lady she would have gotten so much support frm alot ladies in mashada telling her go ahead n ditch th sucker.It js reminds me of Kelly's video.."I hate you so much right now". u see the way those ladies follow kelly on the streets wit their placards

[Unsigned Hype]

Originally Posted by charlokam

Be very honest....... Have you ever ever ever used those words? or has a man ever used those words against you?

And quantify if you love this man...... what do you mean by need space.... do we go single for the month or so as you get your space....... do I remain in limbo ...... while you get your space.....


I need space is the biggest cliche word that has been used by chics to dump guys.


The one that men use is..... its not you its me

charlokam..me too dnt really understand this word space its being overused or mis used by our dear ladies.cz its not like she carrying me on her back,we dont even live together..we see each other mostly on weekends..n smetyms 1 day in a week.nw if thats not space then wats space jameni???

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Unsigned Hype

charlokam..me too dnt really understand this word space its being overused or mis used by our dear ladies.cz its not like she carrying me on her back,we dont even live together..we see each other mostly on weekends..n smetyms 1 day in a week.nw if thats not space then wats space jameni???

When yours is crying of space, mine is crying for more quality time together. I'm not sure if she'll one day request for some space to be alone.

There is this other chic that I'm through with but still calls me once in a while; about twice a month. I feel that she is calling me toooooooo often.

The only reason that could lead to someone seeing you as a bother or a suffocant is when they are through with you; not when they want to be with you.

It's been said and done. Don't regret having dumped that IDIOT.

[lipstick jungle]

Originally Posted by komboshta

...eeeh AHEM!!! Devine,

Listen girl, every time i hear of that term 'space', my eyes twitch, and my veins vaso-constrict and am deprived off my energy!
I literally get drained...

So whats this space, you people talk about? Isn't this some sort of emotional 'rollacosta'?

Relationships are a Sham....

men and women have different interpretations of space. when a chic says she needs space it doesnt mean she wants to break up with u, on the other hand guys do use the word space to mean its over. the chic is probably confused right now about her relationship because of what happened to her sister, plus the fact that her dad talked to her about sex and cried? thats powerful to a chic.so right now she is caught up btween the two men she loves and she is trying to decide whether to defy her dad or please him. she fears what happened to her sister to happen to her, hence the no sex thing. you need to stop being selfish and think about what she is going through, please be understanding right now. i guess when u heard space u automatically thougt of a dry spell, as in no booty. what the girl needs right now is support and understanding, if u really love her u would let her know that you are there for her whenever she needs u. if not then listen to the advice ur getting here and move on. but believe me, u will look back and regret it. trust me

[lipstick jungle]

if she went out of her way to make ur bday special, then she still loves you. maybe after the talk with her dad he made her promise not to get in the same situation as her sis or maybe break up with you or something, have u thought of that? she may not tell you. i know i wouldnt be doing that if i dont care about a guy anymore. dont give up yet, thats what a relationship is all about, good and bad.