Diagnose this feeling

[Jerry D]

If you are a woman, what will you feel when you learn that a dude who had decided to remain single for a while (as he sorted some of his personal problems), decided to date a woman other than you?

Do you blame yourself if somehow you were certain that by the time he will make up his mind to date it will be you that he will choose?

[Senseless]

Originally Posted by Jerry D

If you are a woman, what will you feel when you learn that a dude who had decided to remain single for a while (as he sorted some of his personal problems), decided to date a woman other than you?

Do you blame yourself if somehow you were certain that by the time he will make up his mind to date it will be you that he will choose?

Thea are those who fully blame emselves! They feel they are lacking enough personal power to have n hold a person's love.

Their pain during comes from feeling unlovable, nobody wants them...... that they're somehow inherently lacking some essential iish for personal value.

Women should STOP expecting MEN to validate their worth!!!!

[Waithera Cherono Akoth]

It depends on the relationship between the chic and the guy whos decided to chill...,y would 'she' think that wen he finaly gets ready to date, its gona be 'her' hes gona want???
i don understand!

[myers]

Generally whenever a partner decides to take a break from a relationship to sort out his personal issues, more often than not, his partner comprises one of the 'personal issues' he is attempting to resolve...

At this point, its recommended a woman succintly clarify with the guy that their relationship cannot be put on hold, that they should both be free to move on with their lives...At this juncture a woman should quickly progress to 'mourning' the end of her relationship and with equal speed, open herself to the possibility of dating other people who hopefully, will keep them in their lives when they 'sort out their personal issues'.

At no point, should this woman entertain the possibility of getting back with this man, or wait for him.. no, for she was 'dumped'..if they are to get back together, it must be after she has been with another person.. its the least she can do for herself after having been rendered 'irrelevant' by this man....

Women, it cant be emphasized enough to learn to love ourselves...

[al-zalzalah]

myers, i agree with you. that thing of waiting for somebody to solve their personal problems is just a mbaya idea, considering that at the end of the reflection and meditation, the person will most likely decide that you are actually the cause of their "personal problems".

frankly, if we're not married, i don't see myself seriously waiting for this resolution of personal problems. i just don't have that kind of patience.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by myers

Generally whenever a partner decides to take a break from a relationship to sort out his personal issues, more often than not, his partner comprises one of the 'personal issues' he is attempting to resolve...

In this case, the dude was NOT in any prior relationship. He just decided to be single as he sorts out some of his personal problems. Actually, he met the chic for the first time during the period of sorting out the issues. See my response to WCA above.

So your other points have been discarded.

Originally Posted by al-zalzalah

myers, i agree with you. that thing of waiting for somebody to solve their personal problems is just a mbaya idea, considering that at the end of the reflection and meditation, the person will most likely decide that you are actually the cause of their "personal problems".

Having done the above clarification, I look forward to reading your rectified opinion.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Waithera Cherono Akoth

It depends on the relationship between the chic and the guy whos decided to chill...,y would 'she' think that wen he finaly gets ready to date, its gona be 'her' hes gona want???
i don understand!

I think what made the chic think that she'll be chosen when the dude finally decides to be in a relationship is the openness the dude had with her. You share some of your issues with someone, then that someone thinks that yeah, I am the one he needs.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Senseless

Women should STOP expecting MEN to validate their worth!!!!

I am tempted to think that "just friends" never work because of a weakness inherent in women. They are less likely to discriminate between A RELATIONSHIPS and FRIENDSHIP between her and a guy who treats her with respect, understanding, and openness.

[Fraglante]

Originally Posted by Jerry D

If you are a woman, what will you feel when you learn that a dude who had decided to remain single for a while (as he sorted some of his personal problems), decided to date a woman other than you?

Do you blame yourself if somehow you were certain that by the time he will make up his mind to date it will be you that he will choose?

Given subsequent facts,I hereby diagnose this feeling:

If I was this woman I would feel like a ******* because it would finally dawn on me what an assumptive thing I had done ie waiting for a man who had no prior commitment to me. As in basically I had been riding on nothing but hope the whole time I was waiting for him.

It therefore follows that the only blaming myself that I shall do, is of being a *******

[al-zalzalah]

Originally Posted by Jerry D

Having done the above clarification, I look forward to reading your rectified opinion.

JD, in that case, I would go through the sequence of thoughts described by Fraglante:

If I was this woman I would feel like a ******* because it would finally dawn on me what an assumptive thing I had done ie waiting for a man who had no prior commitment to me. As in basically I had been riding on nothing but hope the whole time I was waiting for him.
It therefore follows that the only blaming myself that I shall do, is of being a *******