Divorce consciousness

[Natta]

Divorce is officially upon us. As women have gone to school, got the jobs of their dreams, earning good perks, they have become fiercely independent. Their dependence on men did help to sustain marriage. Modernity has liberated them but at the same time spawned unprecedented divorce rates that we have begun to witness. Nowadays everyone is busy and no one wants to hang on onto something that curtails their freedom, ambition and pursuit of individual happiness in the misty explanation of sacrifice.


Divorce consciousness: why certain precautions are necessary! | East Africa in Focus

[Ghetto Love]

Originally Posted by Natta

Divorce is officially upon us. As women have gone to school, got the jobs of their dreams, earning good perks, they have become fiercely independent. Their dependence on men did help to sustain marriage. Modernity has liberated them but at the same time spawned unprecedented divorce rates that we have begun to witness. Nowadays everyone is busy and no one wants to hang on onto something that curtails their freedom, ambition and pursuit of individual happiness in the misty explanation of sacrifice.


Divorce consciousness: why certain precautions are necessary! | East Africa in Focus

its these women who i was talking about in my thread as to why shagmondo women make better wives,but they, ll learn how that "independence" is counterproductive when they hit 40 with no family to call their own,only a couple of Dildos to call their own,in different colours and texture..i pity them and wish they listen to words of wisdom from people who are concerned about this worrying trend they are adapting...sadly human beings are known to punish the messenger..they even did it to Jesus!

[Jerry D]

I have stayed in a family where the wife is a Doctor Somebody and the husband is a mere pastor who went to a theological seminary after O' Level.

That family is one of the happiest I have ever stayed with.

The secret to their happiness is that the wife will NEVER do anything without the PERMISSION of her husband. Whenever the final decision has to be made over pertinent issues, the husband is the one to make that decision and the wife obliges without questions. But during the discussion session, the wife freely contributes her mind which the husband considers before making his own decision; sometimes against the wife's wishes.

And yap, I bet that the family can never break up because even though the wife is currently the Dean of the faculty of Women and Gender Affairs in one public university and the husband still a mere pastor in one small church, they have been living together as husband and wife for over forty years.

The secret to successful marriage is a simple arithmetic: "Wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wives." PERIOD.

[al-zalzalah]

Originally Posted by Jerry D

The secret to their happiness is that the wife will NEVER do anything without the PERMISSION of her husband.
The secret to successful marriage is a simple arithmetic: "Wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wives." PERIOD.

is that what they told you, or is that what you surmised after a long time of observing them?
i am curious as to what they would actually say the secret of their success was. especially for the woman. why does she respect her husband so much? surely, there must be something he is doing right.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by al-zalzalah

there must be something he is doing right.

My total observation lasted for six years. On the other hand I stayed with them as part of the family for around one and a half years.

The husband is simply obedient to the second part of the arithmetic..."husbands, love your wives".

[nyira]

@Jerry, I concur with you but figure this...'wives submit to your husbands like the church submits to christ...' there is no woman who will fail to submit to a Godly man,it will just come naturally.The problem many women are facing is finding a Godly man to submit to.Even men who abuse their wives in all manner are clinging to this word 'submit'!!.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by nyira

@Jerry, I concur with you but figure this...'wives submit to your husbands like the church submits to christ...' there is no woman who will fail to submit to a Godly man,it will just come naturally.The problem many women are facing is finding a Godly man to submit to.Even men who abuse their wives in all manner are clinging to this word 'submit'!!.

So your arrogance and exercise of control to a non-godly man will salvage the marriage? Read what Paul advised the slaves under ungodly lords: "obey your masters, with humility - rephrased".

If you think you can't divorce him or get separation, the more reason you should submit.

[Devine]

Originally Posted by Jerry D

So your arrogance and exercise of control to a non-godly man will salvage the marriage? Read what Paul advised the slaves under ungodly lords: "obey your masters, with humility - rephrased".

If you think you can't divorce him or get separation, the more reason you should submit.

Sometimes women are forced to take things into their own hands if the husband doesn't deliver. Someone who gets drunk everyday, comes staggering home and now wants to sell whatever land you have to finance his drinking habit...no woman worth her salt will submit to that.

I'm thinking of the Obama marriage. They clearly love and respect each other. With that foundation it is easy to submit to each other. Like the ladies have said already, submit is taken too literally with expectations of genuflecting and bowing.

Submission is so much more than that, but the foundation of love is especially necessary for someone to feel they are valued in the relationship and that their word counts.

[KEMINOKANA]

Originally Posted by Devine

I'm thinking of the Obama marriage. They clearly love and respect each other. With that foundation it is easy to submit to each other. Like the ladies have said already, submit is taken too literally with expectations of genuflecting and bowing.
.

The Obamas marriage is put on an unrealistic pedestal by such statements. Don't let the magazine covers fool you. They too have had problems like any other couple. They have argued over issues that would seem petty and gone to bed not talking to eachother. So people shouldn't look around and say if my husband/wife was like that, I'd submit. That's a farce that often discourages people from solving their own problems and make something for themselves. They'll have weaknesses that tick you off e.g when Obama lost the congress seat so badly and still wanted to run for the Senate. Michelle was livid that I hear his ambitions for office almost led to a divorce. So when Alza says husband Y must be doing something right, she forgets that he does alot of things wrong too. In my view that's where people go wrong. Your husband must not have to do something right for you to respect him. Neither does your wife. Sometimes someone needs to be the light for the other. Otherwise you'll have too much heat and very little light. The end result is a divorce fight in court. Of course we all run out of patience, but we must try to right things before calling it quits.

[Jerry D]

Originally Posted by Devine

submit to each other

Submit to each other is both irrational and illogical. Actually it is nonsense. The commands is, "wives, submit to your husbands. Husbands, love your wives."

Submitting to each other will create two centers of power. It's like asking the master who loves his servants to submit to them too eti EQUALITY. Nay, it doesn't work like that.