What percentage of men cheat? and why?

[Fraglante]

Originally Posted by Ester

Hey no no no sweetie, I would never allow my man to go out on coffee dates, happy hour you name it; in the company of another woman,just the two of them. If it's a company-related event then sawa he's got my permission.

Good to see you are actually human!!

I never understand these women who have no qualms whatsoever in allowing their men to go our on dates alone in some dimly lit romatic setting like restaurants! Yani they sit back and watch their men spruce themselves up in preparation for the date....they even iron the shirt for him and they even suggest where the guy should take the other woman.WTF!!! Something is wrong there.Either she doesnt really love him/care for the relationship or she does(and is not really ok with the whole thing) but is bottling it all in.Which if I must say is very unhealthy both for her and the relationship.

Not that we should put our men on a literal leash but please!!Boundaries have to be set.We will not keep tabs on all he does but he must know where the line get drawn.Its common sense anyway he should know!

He should be free to see and do whatever he wants but at the same time his common sense with the aid of the (high) standards that you have set and made known to him should tell him how far he can go.

But that level of outright mistrust would not provide the basis for a healthy relationship, now would it?Therefore, there are instances where I'll have to trust him and my gut instincts.

True true.

As we trust them, we should also let them know what is acceptable and what is not.If he stays within the boundaries, trust will flow and flood even....like Tsunami.

If she's hotter and more educated than I am, then those lights will be flashing like crazy. On the other hand, if she's a married, matronly woman then maybe not so much.

I know what you mean but as Devine points out up there, sometimes, you may think a man is looking for beauty.But there are times he will be attracted to a woman because of something deeper than physical beauty. Thats why you see sometimes a man cheats on his beautiful wife or educated wife with something the wind blew in or the cat dragged in

Anyway not all men cheat (emotionally, physically or otherwise), and my boyfie is a very good example. I mean, we've been dating for sometime and stuff like premarital s** or other would be no-brainers for most guys (in terms of making out) are still a big deal to him.

This is where I choose to agree to disagree. He may look like all that right now (dont they all) but in your heart of hearts, be prepared for anything.He is just a man.Be ready to accommodate his shortcomings as a man....or to walk away.**** happens.

FYI,most women who are cheated on, believe their men are the exception to the rule.They believe that some how the universe did some cosmic ........thing and gave them the one and only man who is different from all men and he doesn't cheat.......ok I will stop now.I dont want to dampen your spirits.

Even me my man, tells me all that.You know? How am all he ever wants in a woman, how since he met me he doesnt even see other women etc LOL I take it all with a pinch of salt.I dont argue or give him that look of "yeah right". I give him the benefit of doubt but am prepared for anything and I know how I will handle the **** if it happens.But I hope it doesnt.

[Fraglante]

Originally Posted by Devine

Frag, my experience has been the opposite, I've been around men of impeccable character who treat their women amazingly n so I expect that from men. But life has this funny way of teaching lessons .

Good for you.

I have seen something different,but I have learnt that from life we get what we expect.It doesnt matter the surrounding circumstances, I expect the best too.

Lets hope life doesnt teach us those bitter lessons.

[msema ukweli Kabisa]

and my boyfie is a very good example. I mean, we've been dating for sometime and stuff like premarital s** or other would be no-brainers for most guys (in terms of making out) are still a big deal to him.

Ester yaani you and you boyfie dont do it? ngai fafa do they still make such people bado? lol


And to Frag as long as you believe we are incapable of being faithful, we will gladly work hard to prove your point, lol

[Devine]

Originally Posted by Fraglante

Good for you.

I have seen something different,but I have learnt that from life we get what we expect.It doesnt matter the surrounding circumstances, I expect the best too.

Lets hope life doesnt teach us those bitter lessons.

Oh honey believe me i've learnt lessons. I was trying to be careful and not burst Ester's bubble but you put it well. Take what bf tells you with a grain of salt and be prepared for anything. It's horrible to get blindsided. Yeah he'll tell u the sun rises and sets on you, but...hehe, incase it happens utakua ready to move on. Not to say live your life in fear and suspicion, but always know that there's that likelihood of it happening.

Anyway I just read this quote n thought of Ester

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.' Maya Angelou.

You have my permission to use it as a signature . Dang I hate these emoticons. Yuk!

[Me.On]

Originally Posted by Fraglante

Your girl friend sees no fault in you sleeping with another woman. Heck you can even go ahead and do it as she watches, for all its worth, she will even take your **** and guide it into another woman’s cunt!! All in the name of a threesome.

I on the other hand think that is utter debauchery!

I, on the other hand, think that is just having fun— before commiting.

Just joking, dear

[chemical]

http://www.youtube.com/v/QPAIbvF9_oA...%3E%3C/span%3E

[okiedokes]

Frag, I agree with you. You set boundaries and make consequences known. Whatever he does after that, he knows where you stand on the issue. We can't control others but we have control over what we can do about a situation.

Some men are also honest about such things e.g one guy told me that his gf's attitude about cheating makes a big difference. If she's not one to tolerate it, he tries harder not to cheat(and believes he can be faithful) but if she is lax about it, he won't try to resist temptation.

As we talk about the men, we shouldn't forget the women they cheat with. I'm more disgusted by the women who don't have enough self-respect for themselves as well. Many times women know these men are married or in relationships, yet they proceed. The Rielle Hunter types who don't like to do the hard work of building a 20 year marriage, but enjoy reaping the labors of other women are just pathetic. So, until women learn to respect themselves more, I'm afraid this cycle will continue and only get worse.

[jasakwa]

The wife is drop dead georgious yet jama went still fell for argentina,she must be a piece of beauty but i will nt be shocked if she turns out to be a thorn coz with us men its not always about beauty.

[Henry_DG]

All men cheat even our fathers even if we dont know.
A man is a Man is a Man.
Even the pope has sex

[Fraglante]

Originally Posted by msema ukweli Kabisa

Ester yaani you and you boyfie dont do it? ngai fafa do they still make such people bado? lol


And to Frag as long as you believe we are incapable of being faithful, we will gladly work hard to prove your point, lol

The idea that a perfect gentleman would go out of his way to cheat and play around in order to prove a point is funny. I mean you don’t want to cheat but you do it because I said its typical?Hehehe….hilarious.

Anyway this is not something one goes telling their partner. Not at all. Its something you know and just keep to yourself. Its for the woman’s own good so that she can protect herself incase of any eventuality. Sort of like a buffer between the cruel or dumb actions of her philandering husband and her fragile heart. A shock absorber if I may call it that. Blatantly telling it as she knows it to her mans face would be suicidal to their relationship.

So don’t get me wrong. Am just putting it all out there now because this is just Mashada. You Mashada men have nothing to prove to me or to other ladies of like mind here. Unless your wives are also mashadites and in essence you are addressing them.

Originally Posted by Me.On

I, on the other hand, think that is just having fun— before commiting.

Just joking, dear

I know you said you were joking but I still have something to say about this. See, a threesome is a perfectly fine and fun activity to engage in. Heck I have been there and done that. But you see this is not something you do with the woman/man you intend to marry and spend the rest of your life with. Its something you do with a casual partner who you know you are with merely for fun.

Its too much of a disgusting and disrespectful (though very delightful/freaky/fun) thing to do with some one you genuinely care for. I for one cannot stand the idea that my future husband could be sleeping with another woman. I cant even stand the thought that he could be making out with any one other than me. That’s because the feelings are deep. But those who I had this kind of fun with, if anything I got off from that idea of sharing. That’s because deep down it was obvious that they were not THE ONE for me.

Again-standards.