Are accomplished women unnatractive to guys.

[greyso]

It must be so. I have worked so hard to get where I am today. As in all the american dreams; but what are they for, if I cannot come home to a companion, have someone to talk to, laugh with, share ideas and grow with. May be I should have been looking for a guy instead of working hard.

I am 125lbs, 5'8,& 34yrs. I just need a normal guy, doesn't smoke but drink socially okay. Fit but not Fat, Taller than myself, around my age or older.

[wahenga]

dont push too hard dear....it will come to you naturaly wen u least expect it

[Barbie Girl]

When I was in college my friend Gina and I used to go to Denny's late at night or early in the morining, and we always saw this lady there. I don't remember her name, but she would always have a plate of apple pie with ice cream on top. She would take one bite off it, and then just stare at it. When the ice cream had melted a little she started talking to it. Eventually Gina and I struck up a converstaion with her since she looked so lonely. We found out that her husband had passed away some time ago and she had been living alone. I also found that she smelled like cat piss. I felt bad for her, but failed to realize that my hunger for an education and career might put me in the same place as her. Alone. At Denny's. Smelling like cat piss.

Is this what my future holds? Am I destined to be a widow by default just because I don't need a man for my living? The last guy I dated suddenly exclaimed to me, after only five dates....."You're going to leave me, aren't you?" And he wouldn't let go of that idea. It's as if just because I didn't need his money he thought I didn't need him. He totally blew it! I didn't want anything from him except his companionship. If he wanted to work or stay at home I would not have cared. Every person brings a certain amount of insecurity into a relationship, and I wanted to work through the issue with him and let him know that I too had insecurities, and we could both work on them together. But he wouldn't. He just freaked out and took off. What more could I do? I'm looking for a man that just wants a loving companion. I don't care about money or status. SAVE ME FROM THE CAT PISS!

[Msoto]

>When I was in college my friend Gina and I used to go to
>Denny's late at night or early in the morining, and we always
>saw this lady there. I don't remember her name, but she would
>always have a plate of apple pie with ice cream on top. She
>would take one bite off it, and then just stare at it. When
>the ice cream had melted a little she started talking to it.
>Eventually Gina and I struck up a converstaion with her since
>she looked so lonely. We found out that her husband had
>passed away some time ago and she had been living alone. I
>also found that she smelled like cat piss. I felt bad for
>her, but failed to realize that my hunger for an education and
>career might put me in the same place as her. Alone. At
>Denny's. Smelling like cat piss.
>
>Is this what my future holds? Am I destined to be a widow by
>default just because I don't need a man for my living? The
>last guy I dated suddenly exclaimed to me, after only five
>dates....."You're going to leave me, aren't you?" And he
>wouldn't let go of that idea. It's as if just because I
>didn't need his money he thought I didn't need him. He totally
>blew it! I didn't want anything from him except his
>companionship. If he wanted to work or stay at home I would
>not have cared. Every person brings a certain amount of
>insecurity into a relationship, and I wanted to work through
>the issue with him and let him know that I too had
>insecurities, and we could both work on them together. But he
>wouldn't. He just freaked out and took off. What more could
>I do? I'm looking for a man that just wants a loving
>companion. I don't care about money or status. SAVE ME FROM
>THE CAT PISS!

This is a very sober reply...i am impressed without a doubt.

However will a man just want a loving companion or will he want more?

Are you being too selfish by restricting what package a man should come in? What if he wants to feel he can take care of you?

If you cann't compromise the CAT PISS awaits...

[Msoto]

>It must be so. I have worked so hard to get where I am
>today. As in all the american dreams; but what are they for,
>if I cannot come home to a companion, have someone to talk to,
>laugh with, share ideas and grow with. May be I should have
>been looking for a guy instead of working hard.
>
>I am 125lbs, 5'8,& 34yrs. I just need a normal guy, doesn't
>smoke but drink socially okay. Fit but not Fat, Taller than
>myself, around my age or older.

I think in the world we live in we strive so hard for distinction. We put in so much energies to get respected...and get a suitable position in the eschelon of things.

In hind-sight everything may seem worse. What if you had the guy but you were peniless...love doesn't put food on the table...love doesn't pay the insuarance on the car...love doesn't pay the rent...love doesn't cater for the bills and bills that are always pounding endlessly on your door.

So what to do? Pick up where you are...you have began well...you have posted your profile. You have stated you are successful and need companionship. Try your hand at different penpal sites...even dating sites. People may say oh...this or ohhh that. But they are not you and you are not them. Try your luck...here and in many places.

Sometimes even a simple place like a supermarket is where you could meet a companion of your lifetime.

Don't despair life doesn't end at 34.

[Barbie Girl]

Everyone enjoys taking care of someone or something. To help someone and nurture someone is a healthy instinct...a reptillian urge older than air itself. I have no problem letting others enjoy the feeling of taking care of me. I guess it's just important to realize that there are different ways of "taking care" of someone. For example, if a husband can realize that having some type of job or endeavor makes his wife happy, then he is taking care of her by letting her explore her creative instincts. Economists all over the world will tell you that a strong economy has a combination of support for child care and women, and an open market that welcomes both men and women as equal entrepreneurs.

If this situation came up with me, I would suggest a compromise. For example, my career is teaching and right now I teach full time. If I got married and the husband wanted to be the main provider so I could stay home and be more "domestic" or whatever, I would ask for a compromise. Instead of quitting my career altogether I would suggest that I teach part time or be a substitute teacher. That would only work, however, if the husband had a career himself that made a 3 or 4 digit salary and he would be able to support myself and kids on his salary alone. How likely is that? No matter how much a man might WANT to provide for me and his children financially, the other question is CAN he? Unless he has the digits, it's not a likely scenario.

The economic reality of America and other countries today is that unless one person in the marriage makes a 3 or 4 digit salary, then both spouses have to work....ESPECIALLY if they want kids. I mean, how many families do you know in the US who have kids and only one parent works? Not many.

Perhaps the push for women to get their own careers in the 80's was just society's way of surviving, preparing us all for the need of double income families. Both of my parents worked my whole life, and most of my friends' parents both worked too. My parents were also teachers, and there was no way that my dad could support a family on one teacher's salary. My mom always worked. But there is still a collective belief, all over the world, that men should be the main providers. Look at the teaching profession. There are far more women teachers than men. Why? A man cannot support a family on his teacher salary. I don't know of one male teacher with a family in which the wife does not work.

And I believe that many professions are like that. If you find a family in which the man works and the woman doesn't, then the man probably has a very high profile job...which is the traditional family structure. But society has not stayed traditional, as I mentioned earlier. Rising prices and inflation force more families to have two incomes, but the hard part is that the emotional development of this power change might take longer, or never happen at all. Just because a situation changes doesn't mean a person's heart and mind will change.

I think that is why a man might at first be intimidated by a career woman and feel the urge to be the main provider. It's very ingrained and natural. But if we all want to survive in this world of inflation and "free enterprise" we have to make compromises and learn to adapt.

[jatermon]

Where are you and How old are you? Since you have succeeded with other aspects of life, let's hukup immediatelly.

[Devine]

Originally Posted by jatermon

Where are you and How old are you? Since you have succeeded with other aspects of life, let's hukup immediatelly.

Jatermon, what's up with resurrecting old threads. These women are probably taken now, or at Denny's smelling of cat piss .

[inny]

take ur time sooo many frogs out there u will kiss n kiss n kiss no prince is coming yet.dont be in a hurry enjoy the frogs