[shiro74]

Is it only me or dating in U.S is far much tougher than in Kenya. I have a very difficult time meeting decent guys and I consider myself very attractive to jamaas and I am a very down to earth too. My Friends think am too choosy but my question is , is it wrong to want an intelligent , sensitive and down to earth man.
Also I have a problem approaching a guy for the fear of bein dissed. What are the strategies of approaching a guy (in style) without making it too obvious? should I tell guy am attracted to him with the risk of the guy letting me down or letting the whole community that I told him so?

Please no nasty reponse because you do not have to give me your advice if you do not want to

[Mtulivu]

>I have a
>very difficult time meeting decent guys
>and I consider myself very attractive to
>jamaas and I am a very down to earth
>too. My Friends think am too choosy but
>my question is , is it wrong to want an
>intelligent , sensitive and down to
>earth man.


The same thing applies for guys. It is very wrong to generalize but after quite a number of disasters, it is had to keep an objective mind. Besides one has to many other things to worry about in the States to waste time on unhealthy relationships. Life is hard in the US as it focuses on individuality thus one cannot afford to hook up with someone who is not in the same focus with you.


>Also I have a problem approaching a guy
>for the fear of bein dissed. What are
>the strategies of approaching a guy (in
>style) without making it too obvious?
>should I tell guy am attracted to him
>with the risk of the guy letting me down
>or letting the whole community that I
>told him so?
>
Double standards is what you have. You have to seek what you want and do not expect that he will just present himself. After all, that is the same thing guys who come after you and youmercilessly diss them out go through. Just learn to deal with it. Comes with the territory o being choosy.

PEACE

[jispachio]

I should think that the best thing is simply to get the whole issue out of your mind. No sooner have you done that, then you never know what'll hit you. Plus you get your peace of mind.
Im of the impression that when a woman is "searching", she sends out signals that suggest she is desperate. Just be, and let be, live and let live

[mwananchi_]

Shiro,

-Yes dating in the States is tougher than in Kenya (the large # of break-ups and single un-attached Kenyans is testimony to this). I do not wish to get into the many factors contributing to this situation.

-Plenty of attractive, decent women have difficulty meeting men that they consider datable. Even after meeting a potential date the process of getting with him is pretty uncertain

-There's nothing wrong with setting minimum standards for a dating partner.


WHAT TO DO?

1. Post this question under "Relationships" for better exposure.

2. You seem to know what kind of man you're looking for. Find out where this kind of man is likely to go and frequent those places. e.g. fit guys in gyms, golfers on golf courses, drinkers in pubs.

3. Expand your social circle. If you keep hanging around the same people and places year after year, chances are you'll never meet anyone new.

4. Socialize. Do not be in a rush to get into a relationship. Get a few good men friends and spend time with them. Not only will this keep you in touch with what's going on in male social circles, it will also make you more approachable.

AFTER YOU MEET MR POTENTIAL

1. Don't tell him you are attracted to him. Don't throw yourself at him. If he's the smart man you're looking for he'll figure it out in good time.

2. Don't believe what other women say about him. They are probably bitter that he's showing interest in you and not them. Take time to know him. Spend time with him.

3. Try and avoid sex too soon after you meet however tempting it might be.

[Mad Max]

>Is it only me or dating in U.S is far
>much tougher than in Kenya. I have a
>very difficult time meeting decent guys
>and I consider myself very attractive to
>jamaas and I am a very down to earth
>too. My Friends think am too choosy but
>my question is , is it wrong to want an
>intelligent , sensitive and down to
>earth man.
>Also I have a problem approaching a guy
>for the fear of bein dissed. What are
>the strategies of approaching a guy (in
>style) without making it too obvious?
>should I tell guy am attracted to him
>with the risk of the guy letting me down
>or letting the whole community that I
>told him so?
>
> Please no nasty reponse because you do
>not have to give me your advice if you
>do not want to


You have a point;dating in the US is a lot tougher than in Kenya. The American culture can really change a Kenyan guy (or babe)Personally I've been dissed and dismissed by Kenyan chics who'd rather date doctors and lawyers than their own brethren.I know some guys who'd rather date American women than be seen with a Kenyan sista.

Personally it all depends on what you seek in a man.Some chics like the suave,sophistaicated gentleman and some chics like the average nyan'gau, a guy who's in the US for the wrong reasons,loves to party and has been a guest of the state at least more than twice in his life (i.e he's been in jail)

You should also realise that one doesn't need a spouse or a significant other to feel really happy;you can do that all on your own. Some people feel that they have to date so as to identify with their friends.Some couples may be all smiles in public but be fighting in private.

My advice to you would be to take a good hard look at yourself,take note of your achievements,however little or big, and then make some plans for the future,whatever they are.Then decide if having a significant other will take you forward or hold you back.At the end of the day you should rate your sense of self-esteem.Know that if you're not happy with yourself,don't expect anyone else to be happy with you.

Spread the love,

Mad Max

[olky]

wad up lady.i read your article on mashada and i think yours is gender miscalculation.my be you are expecting a lot ,maybe its too soon to tell.but when he comes a long rest assured you will know.about being dissed,it happens.the best way to deal with is just to ignore such characters.this will xpose you to greater possibility of meeting a much more interesting party.keep your hopes high.....

ecko