[barb]

Pple pliz help, my love went out of town for a business conference thingy, ok lemme give u the background, i met him 3 yrs ago, we fell inlove n we've been in a relationship 4 like 2 n half yrs, he asked me 2 move in but i dont do 'come we stay' n he was cool, i also need 2 mention that am almost in my mid twenties, ie 24, and he is in his thirties, has a good jobo, owns a condo, yaani he is the 'it' guy, so wen he went out of town i decided 2 do some major cleaning in his condo, not that he is untidy, am just a clean freak n i needed 2 make it spotless 4 him, i swear i wasnt snopping, so as i was cleaning i stumbled into a ring, yep, a nice, big ol ring, i wasnt ecstatic like most women would be, actually i did wat carrie did wen she saw the ring from aiden, i puked, i was nauseous, well 2 cut the storo short, he came back, i did not say anything, but he has been acting like he wants to propose, perfect example, he keeps playing the jagged edge song 'let's get married' n the other day we were in the shower he started singing that song 'will u marry me' ok guys am freaked out, am not ready 4 marriage, he is known 2 blow things out of proposition, u know invite everybody 4 dinner then romantically pops the question, how do i say no 2 him infront of everybody? I lv this guy, he gets me n am a handful i tell u, am thinking of faking my own death or run away 2 mexico, anyway that's a joke but am running out of options, any adv????

[Wamax74.]

Originally Posted by barb

Pple pliz help, my love went out of town for a business conference thingy, ok lemme give u the background, i met him 3 yrs ago, we fell inlove n we've been in a relationship 4 like 2 n half yrs, he asked me 2 move in but i dont do 'come we stay' n he was cool, i also need 2 mention that am almost in my mid twenties, ie 24, and he is in his thirties, has a good jobo, owns a condo, yaani he is the 'it' guy, so wen he went out of town i decided 2 do some major cleaning in his condo, not that he is untidy, am just a clean freak n i needed 2 make it spotless 4 him, i swear i wasnt snopping, so as i was cleaning i stumbled into a ring, yep, a nice, big ol ring, i wasnt ecstatic like most women would be, actually i did wat carrie did wen she saw the ring from aiden, i puked, i was nauseous, well 2 cut the storo short, he came back, i did not say anything, but he has been acting like he wants to propose, perfect example, he keeps playing the jagged edge song 'let's get married' n the other day we were in the shower he started singing that song 'will u marry me' ok guys am freaked out, am not ready 4 marriage, he is known 2 blow things out of proposition, u know invite everybody 4 dinner then romantically pops the question, how do i say no 2 him infront of everybody? I lv this guy, he gets me n am a handful i tell u, am thinking of faking my own death or run away 2 mexico, anyway that's a joke but am running out of options, any adv????

Get a life!

Enjoy it while it lasts. Actually, you have only 3 or so more years, then you wont have ANY guy as nice as you have described proposing to you.

Actually, if I was you, I'd accept the proposal, and since you dont like have to be married the next day, assess whether you really want to. 6 months down the line, press him either for a wedding day or for freedom.

[barb]

Originally Posted by Wamax74.

Get a life!

Enjoy it while it lasts. Actually, you have only 3 or so more years, then you wont have ANY guy as nice as you have described proposing to you.

Actually, if I was you, I'd accept the proposal, and since you dont like have to be married the next day, assess whether you really want to. 6 months down the line, press him either for a wedding day or for freedom.

Sweetheart i do have a life, n i also have something called a conscious, i dont want 2 accept the proposal out of the lime, make him think he has a fiance then 6 mths from now tell him i did not want 2 get married all along, frankly i think that's immature, n pliz dont give me that sh*t ati i wont hv any guy 2 propose 2 me again, that this is my chance n i should grab it, naaaah, honestly i think ur the one who should get a life n get someone to propose 2 u so that u can stop giving me shady adv, thx but no thx!!!!!

[african hotty]

@ Barb,are you crazy ?

If all what you explained there is true,you are throwing away a grave oppurtunity that most women your age could only dream about.And you sound like you are head over heals over this man(i think you really love him).Stop living in denial !!.....marry the guy and move on

Good luck dear

[sdolphin]

What exactly are you scared of?
That you'll lose your identity?
That you'll get bored?
You're not ready for kids?
You need to identify what is really scaring you or why you feel you're not ready. Then when the time comes you can discuss with him.

[jaykam]

I hope when the guy says he's going out of town for jobbo, he's out seeing som1 worth his time. Just dont waste his time.

From wat u described this 'IT GUY' was just his house, job, ol big ring but u never said how loving, caring or wateva the guy is, u look more lik a heartless gold digger. And y in the facking world would u go cleaning his house for??????

[okiedokes]

@ Barb....why are you paying a debt you haven't incured yet? By this I mean, he hasn't proposed to you so freaking out about the "impending proposal" doesn't help you in anyway.

From what I know about men so far, let's just say you can never be too sure until it actually happens. The ring you saw means nothing yet b/c it has not been given to you. It may be meant for someone else, or it may be a heirloom passed on from generation to generation, which may explain why he has a ring in the first place.

So settle down, chill out, go on with life like you saw nothing. What's up with you calling him the "IT GUY" yet you don't want to marry him? May be you should let him know now you don't intend to marry so that he saves his "all out proposal" for another woman who wants to be married to such an "IT GUY".

It's ok if you are not too sure about marriage, but you need to find out if it's marriage to him you are not sure about or marriage in general.

As a word of advice, do not ask him about it, do not yap to your friends about it, although knowing women, you may have already done that. If you have make sure they never let it slip. Men are scared of committment, so anything that helps create doubt would make him RUN!

[barb]

Originally Posted by jaykam

I hope when the guy says he's going out of town for jobbo, he's out seeing som1 worth his time. Just dont waste his time.

From wat u described this 'IT GUY' was just his house, job, ol big ring but u never said how loving, caring or wateva the guy is, u look more lik a heartless gold digger. And y in the facking world would u go cleaning his house for??????

look @ this one here, ati am a gold digger, cupcake dont go making assumptions on things that u hv no basis on, if i was infact a so gold digger, lemme ask u this wouldnt i want 2 marry him 4 his money? i make a gud living n drive a gud car, am also furthering my education which by the way come with an even fatter cheque, so if you have nothing reasonable, n helpful 2 say just f**ck off my thread, n by the way i believe i said sm of his qualities, so get ua facts rait, n knowing who u r (from a certain previous thread) am hoping u will let this end here coz am not abt 2 side track the main issue n start insulting u, am better than that, n by the way he was very grateful after i cleaned the house, all in all, thx 4 taking your time 2 type wat u typed, but unfortunately it was not helpful.

[msema ukweli Kabisa]

Originally Posted by barb

look @ this one here, ati am a gold digger, cupcake dont go making assumptions on things that u hv no basis on, if i was infact a so gold digger, lemme ask u this wouldnt i want 2 marry him 4 his money? i make a gud living n drive a gud car, am also furthering my education which by the way come with an even fatter cheque, so if you have nothing reasonable, n helpful 2 say just f**ck off my thread, n by the way i believe i said sm of his qualities, so get ua facts rait, n knowing who u r (from a certain previous thread) am hoping u will let this end here coz am not abt 2 side track the main issue n start insulting u, am better than that, n by the way he was very grateful after i cleaned the house, all in all, thx 4 taking your time 2 type wat u typed, but unfortunately it was not helpful.

Just an advise, are you posting from your phone, if so am sorry but maze dont write like the way you write sms's. its very hard to read.

And another thing, what if the ring is not even your, lol was this the man you could not start a thread ago?

[Alja]

Originally Posted by barb

Pple pliz help, my love went out of town for a business conference thingy, ok lemme give u the background, i met him 3 yrs ago, we fell inlove n we've been in a relationship 4 like 2 n half yrs, he asked me 2 move in but i dont do 'come we stay' n he was cool, i also need 2 mention that am almost in my mid twenties, ie 24, and he is in his thirties, has a good jobo, owns a condo, yaani he is the 'it' guy, so wen he went out of town i decided 2 do some major cleaning in his condo, not that he is untidy, am just a clean freak n i needed 2 make it spotless 4 him, i swear i wasnt snopping, so as i was cleaning i stumbled into a ring, yep, a nice, big ol ring, i wasnt ecstatic like most women would be, actually i did wat carrie did wen she saw the ring from aiden, i puked, i was nauseous, well 2 cut the storo short, he came back, i did not say anything, but he has been acting like he wants to propose, perfect example, he keeps playing the jagged edge song 'let's get married' n the other day we were in the shower he started singing that song 'will u marry me' ok guys am freaked out, am not ready 4 marriage, he is known 2 blow things out of proposition, u know invite everybody 4 dinner then romantically pops the question, how do i say no 2 him infront of everybody? I lv this guy, he gets me n am a handful i tell u, am thinking of faking my own death or run away 2 mexico, anyway that's a joke but am running out of options, any adv????

Don't kill yourself - you will hurt him ama utamwachia mwingine! Do not runaway coz utamuumiza. Accept the ring and then start plotting for the escape from there - polepole and ensure the parting is not that painful to either side! By then you will have kulad his money and raha with him coz it looks like that is what you want!