[angelique_USA]

hey guys,its been a long time since i last posted a thread but anywhoo i wanna talk about whats going on with me these days.remember i told you that my husband and i were at odds and that i moved back in was looking for an apartment..well i since moved out it's been about 5 months since i stopped feeling him romantically but now here it is october and now i just started school upstate new york for electrical engineering & science,and it seems like now that i am eight hours away from him in school in buffalo,now he out of the blue,wants to do good by me.he now calls me everyday and asks me dumb questions wanting to know if i had sex while away.its just soo funny to me how all of a sudden now that he see that im soo serious when i say that i dont want to be with him nomore,now he be on the phone talking to me saying how he gonna change this and that and how he gonna try to make me happy and compromise and how we gone do this and that togheter and what not.right now im just listening with an open mind because i know how everyday it seem to be something new with him.now next week i have a weekend pass so im flying back to the city for three days and he talking about sex on the phone and he want to know if im gonna **** when i get to the city and i told him no because i have no one in mind right now..(well i do but i dont wanna do it with that guy)so i said i just have a one night stand because i been working hard in school and up here im too busy to **** im always tired.so when i get to the city i have a one night stand for once(i never really did it before).when i told him that he then said ..."how come when you come here you dont do it with me?"
that right there was so stupid when he said that because i remember in the past when i called him for sex on the phone he said no because qoute "we have to fix this marriage first before we have sex you say you dont want to be married nomore so i cant have sex if you dont want to be my wife ").he is so religious so of course he would say something dumb like that.me on the other hand, i dont care.long story short i told him we would get back toghter and we can stay married.im just gonna use him him because right now i see that he is vunerable and right now the ball is in my court.
we talked about everything on the phone and i told him that after i finished school that im going to MINNESOTA to go for my advanced training and i be there a couple years and then after that i may want to relocate there or in buffalo or just go back to new york city,whatever i feel like doing and i also told him that if we were to stay married then he has to know that this time i prefer that we live separate as husband and wife and that we see each other only a couple times a month he has his space and i have mine.he says no and he dont like that idea and that is not a real marriage if the couple is not living toghether....that is what he said.so i said okay we can live toghter but only under the condition that your name is not on the lease and i pay all the bills and you dont work you be a stay at home husband because im maiking a lot of money where only once person needs to work.he disagrees to that condition which im not surprised being though he comes from a culture where everything is male dominated(soninke).so anyway long story short i just told him that yeah we gonnna live toghether giving him high hopes when i know good and well im never go back to live with him ever because he is the type of man who seems to think that i should be home pregnant and doing nothing with my life cause he is african and that is how most married african men view women.we talked about a lot of stuff on the phone, even talked about how he dont want me wearing tight clothes and i should start being religous again and i really need to cover up because he dont want his friends to be starring at me and lusting and rememeber i told yall that im muslim but i dont wear the hijab but he wants me to go back to wearing it and when i come to the city he's so paranoid as to if im gonna come ther in something tight or if im goona wear the stuff he wants me to wear.even though its not for him and i know that it is my duty to wear my hijab or whatever so its not really for him so to speak but im jst not feeling that and he kept talking but we came to some agreement that i would wear it at least ONCE a week,only one day out the week and he also wants me to attend relegious classes with him but im not really in the mood for that.with him vereything is based on religion.that is where our problems stem from,him being OVER religious and me a liberalist.i told him that either he accepts for who i am which is the not so religious liberalist or dont accept me at all.i also told him that there are plenty of men out ther who would not care if i was relegious but would accept me how i am because that is what unconditional love is.i told him that i am who i am and his love should not be based on whether or not i pray or i dress in jilbab to hide my beauty from non mahram men ,etc.and that is what all our problems are based on because im not really praticing.sometimes i think about maybe i should deal with men outside my religion .
anyway im just going to use him and play withhim cause i know damn well i have no intentions to fix the marriage unless he back down some from being the extremist that he is but i know that wont happen so i just gonna pimp him.but then again something in the back of my mind subconciously say i should really consider him and give him another chance,so now with this i have a hypothectical question to ask....
with all this that i been telling you guys about my husband and i problems,do you think i should give him another chance and really try to see if this time our poblems ...or his problems rather,will it self out

please give me your BRUTALLY HONEST opinions !

[justus]

put paragraphs and i will read it.

[aluochnora]

me too...and i thought u were 19?

[Skeedo]

Originally Posted by justus

put paragraphs and i will read it.

hehe Justus.

I'll try and summarize the rambling.... (yeah I'm that bored!)

• Chick moved out of her marital home 5 months ago and is in school in upstate NY

• Husband keeps calling wanting to know who is hitting it

• Chick is visiting city and intends to have a one night stand

• Husband wants some piece of action but she won’t give it to him as he starved her before

• She intends to move to MN after school then back to NY

• She will lead husband into believing there is a chance to patch up things while she clearly knows nothing will work

• Seeking Mashadites opinion as to whether she should give dude another chance.

[jaykam]

I dont care bout all that, all i care about is, is he still living with that old woman? Hey missy, he was doggin on u with that woman. hahahahaha

[ar_turr]

Originally Posted by Skeedo

hehe Justus.

I'll try and summarize the rambling.... (yeah I'm that bored!)

• Chick moved out of her marital home 5 months ago and is in school in upstate NY

• Husband keeps calling wanting to know who is hitting it

• Chick is visiting city and intends to have a one night stand

• Husband wants some piece of action but she won’t give it to him as he starved her before

• She intends to move to MN after school then back to NY

• She will lead husband into believing there is a chance to patch up things while she clearly knows nothing will work

• Seeking Mashadites opinion as to whether she should give dude another chance.

shiet.....your writting still sucks!

[Bridgette]

@angelique i think you lied about your age.you told us you were 19 and with all this drama kwani you dot married at 16?if he was muslim too them maybe it was an arranged marriage but he isnt!stop cheating us.

then again some time back you told us that you dont sleep with your hubby that you stopped ati coz he cant satisfy you?but he is your hubby he has conjugal rights!remember??

you say you have never had a one night stand.but you have done worse angelique.i remember a time you admitted here in the forums that you had cheated on your hubby with his friend??and that you never felt guilty coz you push it out of your mind??remember that?

another thing i also believe if you are married you should live together at least when you can help it.but you seem to have planned you life for the next coupla years minus your hubby.he doesnt fit into the picture.if its not working why not just file for a divorce or seperation?there is no need to lead him on let him be.


lastly if all this is true am happy for you.atleast you seem to be getting your life back in order no more trashing apartments with used tampons and rotten food lol!

[crazy boo]

Originally Posted by Skeedo

hehe Justus.

I'll try and summarize the rambling.... (yeah I'm that bored!)

• Chick moved out of her marital home 5 months ago and is in school in upstate NY

• Husband keeps calling wanting to know who is hitting it

• Chick is visiting city and intends to have a one night stand

• Husband wants some piece of action but she won’t give it to him as he starved her before

• She intends to move to MN after school then back to NY

• She will lead husband into believing there is a chance to patch up things while she clearly knows nothing will work

• Seeking Mashadites opinion as to whether she should give dude another chance.

Good job Skeedo..I read the whole thing but that was jana....it was too much I just needed a break..lol...

Angelique what goes up comes down.Also, That to me does not sound like a marriage.If not going for conselling, I wouldn't encourage you to drag his feet, just go seperate ways if you think it's not a symbiotic relationship. You will just be another divorce statistic and life goes on.

[munyanta]

Originally Posted by justus

put paragraphs and i will read it.

maze justus jo!!!!!! we mbaya....... too harsh !!

[angelique_USA]

Originally Posted by aluochnora

me too...and i thought u were 19?

i am 19 going on 20 in january so dont forget my birthday present