[Misse]

Hi mashadittes,

I have a mental problem that I was wondering if you could help me decipher.

I started dating a new guy who seems great, he has many faults of which I acknowledge. Some of his faults include:

- Gambling, he loves to play poker and is known for how much money he can spend. He once told me he spent $700.00 on a game. He told me about this on our first date.

- A possessive female friend who he says he has never been attracted to and is akin to one of the guys. She has always been there for him for 3 years and has been the constant in his life. Right now, she doesn't even acknowledge me, she ignores me. When I told him how I felt he said I have to believe him and know that nothing is going to happen between them and that he can't get rid of her as a friend, so I have to live with it.

- A workaholic, always does overtime at work. I'm still not sure if he is doing this for money, or for the love of a job.

Having talked of his faults, I feel the need to talk of his strengths too,

- He is smart, he makes $150,000 a year, minus the company bonus because he is an ERTW.

- He does wonderful things for me, takes great care of me, very caring of my feelings.

-He is goodlooking and considered a most "eligible bachelor" here. Many girls have tried to date him and it didn't fly with him.


Being the girl that I am, I called a conference with my gal-pals. One of my gal pals thinks I should break up with him, she calls him a "kataglan" which she says means waste of time in her language. She thinks he is not working overtime to keep me there and interested.

I love my girlfriend, but at the same time, she just got shafted by a boy who used her for casual sex and dropped her like a hot potato when she asked for committment. She told me that she thinks if I get a full-time man before her she will have lost her game, even though I am prettier and younger than her, but at the same time I just recently moved here. So sometimes her advice to me seems unwarranted and quick to be unforgiving to my guy.

Is it possibly true? Is this guy a waste of my time? Or is my girlfriend trying to keep me single so we can always hangout together?

[jasakwa]

Originally Posted by Misse

Hi mashadittes,

I have a mental problem that I was wondering if you could help me decipher.

I started dating a new guy who seems great, he has many faults of which I acknowledge. Some of his faults include:

- Gambling, he loves to play poker and is known for how much money he can spend. He once told me he spent $700.00 on a game. He told me about this on our first date.

- A possessive female friend who he says he has never been attracted to and is akin to one of the guys. She has always been there for him for 3 years and has been the constant in his life. Right now, she doesn't even acknowledge me, she ignores me. When I told him how I felt he said I have to believe him and know that nothing is going to happen between them and that he can't get rid of her as a friend, so I have to live with it.

- A workaholic, always does overtime at work. I'm still not sure if he is doing this for money, or for the love of a job.

Having talked of his faults, I feel the need to talk of his strengths too,

- He is smart, he makes $150,000 a year, minus the company bonus because he is an ERTW.

- He does wonderful things for me, takes great care of me, very caring of my feelings.

-He is goodlooking and considered a most "eligible bachelor" here. Many girls have tried to date him and it didn't fly with him.


Being the girl that I am, I called a conference with my gal-pals. One of my gal pals thinks I should break up with him, she calls him a "kataglan" which she says means waste of time in her language. She thinks he is not working overtime to keep me there and interested.

I love my girlfriend, but at the same time, she just got shafted by a boy who used her for casual sex and dropped her like a hot potato when she asked for committment. She told me that she thinks if I get a full-time man before her she will have lost her game, even though I am prettier and younger than her, but at the same time I just recently moved here. So sometimes her advice to me seems unwarranted and quick to be unforgiving to my guy.

Is it possibly true? Is this guy a waste of my time? Or is my girlfriend trying to keep me single so we can always hangout together?

HE IS A BLOODY WASTE OF TIME.

[dotNet]

He is smart, he makes $150,000 a year......

Is that whats top on your list or it just happened to come on top?

He does wonderful things for me, takes great care of me, very caring of my feelings.

Is that anyway related to the 1st point? Hope not.

I donno gurl.. what do you really want? Let's assume everyone ceases to exist, not dead but we just look at it from UR point of view and stand. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Ur gals might tell you he is a waste of time, then u lenga the dude only for one of them to grasp him and ... spend the rest of the .. what was it... $150,000 per year? Eheee!

Go for what you want, be it his money, heart or watever. Care less about what other peopel say coz at the end of the day, it's just YOU and this world.

[Misse]

Why would you think that? Can you be more specific with your answer? In point form too (its nice, quick and easier to read)@ jasakwa

[Misse]

Thanks Dot net, in my heart, I like him for whom he is.

I respect him, I listen to him, I want him in my life.

It does not matter what and how he does what he does.

Its silly but I know there are red flags but I want him anyways

[BBB]

Just get married to the guy,get his kids they will keep you busy. Get like 3 Toi.....the guy is cool i dont see anything wrong with him.

Kwani what do you want he cant be with you 24/7 lazima atafute unga i think your not working are you??

[dotNet]

Thanks Dot net, in my heart, I like him for whom he is.
[color="Blue"]Anytime/COLOR]

I respect him, I listen to him, I want him in my life.
U got the right ingredients

It does not matter what and how he does what he does.
Thats the spirit gurl

Its silly but I know there are red flags but I want him anyways
Red flags are always there, in fact if they are not there, you gotta be reallllllly worried.

Get even more involved with him and when that big day comes, invite all the mamaz who are anti-him to see just how stunning you two are and remember to send me an invite too!!

Wish you all tha best

Lakini watch ur steps.. ur pal might have some firm ground from which she is reasoning!!

[-DJ-]

This is too early to be worrying about such stuff.. I guess you just met him, ride the tide and see what its all about. At the end of the day any decision you make, its "you" who will have to live with the consequences..

[mtoto mzuri]

waste of time? kwani are you looking for a marriage partner? if not, it aint a waste of time. plus you say he's treating u right. u hang in there and enjoy the relationship. if it eventually ends.. hey, it aint gonna be tha first end to a r/shp

[beeamah]

QUOTE<A possessive female friend who he says he has never been attracted to and is akin to one of the guys. She has always been there for him for 3 years and has been the constant in his life. Right now, she doesn't even acknowledge me, she ignores me. When I told him how I felt he said I have to believe him and know that nothing is going to happen between them and that he can't get rid of her as a friend, so I have to live with it.>

I find this very disturbing but maybe its just my naive self.

By the way you really dont want to hook up with a guy who has a gambling problem. Can you imagine what would happen if 3 years down the line the guy chooses to gamble your kidos future college fund or the last amount of cash you have in your joint account? If he is that careless with his money, he could be using it as a tool to self medicate. In psych, such extremes stem from a more serious problem. Let him kick that habit before trying to hook up with him.

What is ERTW?