[isso]

Damn!..6 mil...Are these prospective in-laws or just pure out-laws?

Talk about testing the boundaries of pimping.

[neutral]

Bryo99
First of all I'm not a bastard..unlike you, I am a legitimate child - in other words born in wedlock to my father and mother if I must brag. Secondly I'm a lady not a man so spare me your shallow and retrogressive piece of advice.

Empty tins do make the most noise.

[muombaji]

dowry just like any other tradition can be abused. it is up to the young generation to refuse such abuse. if u love each other marry kwani what is the worst the paros can do! they will accept the r/ship eventually if the two people have a strong bond!!

the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step
http://www.debsfunpages.com/moresmiles/skipy.gif

[theresh]

I've checked out your replies and it appears to me that y'all missing the point here.
Lets try to reason with the parents first..

Why would they want six million kwanza knowing that the party concerned cannot afford it?

Because they are discontented with the whole issue;theyre against the marriege..WHY would prompt me to say this?

In in normal setting parents always want their daughers to be happily married..this is a wish of every parent BUT when they demand a VERY high dowry that means there's something wrong.
They can't just tell you right in your face ati they're against the marriege so they end up asking for something you will not be able to deliver.

I had a friend who was engaged to a maasai chic
whose famo was not very happy with the issue..so the poor guy was given a deal by the chic's dad;-

"if you want to marry my daughter..go and look for a donkey that i lost and bring it back to me".

That was a clear indication that the guy was not wanted in the family..where the hell would he get a donkey that got lost like a year ago?Maybe it died or eaten by hyenas or something and another thing..all donkeys look alike..how are you gonna know ati this is the real one?In any case if even if you found it and brought it back..he can still claim that thats not the real one..what u gonna do?

Well, my point is..they'll just give you a headache if they don't want you for their own reasons.Especially if the daughter is dead gorgeous and can give Halle Berry a run for her money?Keeping in mind that the daugher might be 'throwing wood' with a bling bling? Boy u in for a surprise!

We all know that TRUE love is PRICELESS..our parents even know better than we do..when you walk away after being asked for 6 million ..that means you don't have TRUE LOVE for your woman..for if you do..you will find a way of getting her without even giving a cent!
How do you know whether they're testing you anyway?

[kerubo]

Muombaji:

>dowry just like any other tradition can
>be abused. it is up to the young
>generation to refuse such abuse.

The young generation (at least those I know) would usually caution their paros who tend to be agreeable at the time. But guess what! During negotiation day, they send some long and hard-faced wazees no one has ever seen. Also remember the influence from the extended families including the sudden re-appearance of the long lost uncle.

NOTHING IN LIFE IS TO BE FEARED. IT IS ONLY TO BE UNDERSTOOD.

[msemakweli]

..eh! thats an intersting new angle @Theresh,could be....

Personally, have had this discussion with the parents and let's just say the kenyan mila na desturi is too highly convoluted...ngumu sana!!
hio heshima kwa wazazi/speak ur mind/avoid loss of face(of parents/elders) at all costs...makes things very very difficult! especially for the girl...

One one hand u love the guy and unatakakumtetea but u'll get dismissed ie don't get to be in the vincinity when the discussions are taking place(ati u r not supposed to be involved!), u have to hear all about it 2nd/3rd hand from a rela ambaye amekuonea huruma...tis a no brainer,i have a problem with above process.

Halafu sasa if the news is good and dowry reasonable(aiii,hiyo 6m???)wedding's on...let the his representatives come...expect the kawaida marupurupu on top kama asante kwa walio mlea,leso za akina mama,maziwa kwa mamake nk...an example where the dowry is 'symbolic' of the love, care and effort parents/extended family have put into the bride...and in turn an appreciation of this love,care and effort by the groom and his family...

Mambo yakienda mrama...where the dowry has taken off the surface of the earth kama hiyo 6m!! don't know if it's the groom(hawamtaki for whatever reason!)or ni kisa cha supa money maker!!eiii!

U might 'side' with parents and miss out on the love of ur life...or u might 'side' with him na mambo yakikuharibikia baadaye ???...i think the 'process' needs an urgent overhaul, like how can those ultimately tying the knot be left out of the discussions/negotiations,nini hii???..and could the air please be cleared on the latent statements/maana ya ndani's????....keep it simple,just say what u mean and mean what u say!!

To end, i find marriage idea these days dodgy/iffy people don't keep those vows sacred anymore.... i predict that my extended family will be shaking their heads in dissappointment as years pass by and hawaoni dalili! :7 :7 :7 ;-)

I call it as i see it!!

[neutral]

actually this happened recently and I heard a compromise of kitu 3m was reached - I could be wrong coz this is 3rd hand information though it comes from a close friend of the bride. My understanding is that 6m was based on the chile having a masters degree from here in stato. The couple-to-be had a successful pre-wedding fundraising that earned them $27,000 and the wedding is this month in Kenya - thank God for pre-weddings.

[KenyanRoc]

BS in the first order!!!


as for the massai dad who asked that jamaa to go find the donkey (that was kinda funny)... i would simply go get him another donkey and viola...like you semaed all donkeys look alike..

Don't get me wrong am pro preserving our cultures but when we abuse them they are no longer cultures but taboos


ROC

[kid]

I agree with Theresh. This things are there for a reason. To maintain order and for a parent to ensure that her daugther ends up with the best suiter who willl be able to take care of her the way they expect and tink she deserves.
You cannot call 6 million ridiculous, back in the day maybe this was the value of 10 bulls, 10 cows and a donkey. Maybe this bride price was not for the average joe, but some kalocal chief or clan leader. Just because you cannot afford to have the chile, dont hate, work harder or move on to your niche.
If i dont like or trust a guy, i can ask for an insane figure. If the guy comes up with my request or i see the jamaa breaking his back to do it then its up to me to reevalute the guy and decide whether to lower the amount ama to insist on it.
Nowadays pple are too westernized, ati tru love. Explain the word love in your mother tongue and lets talk of ridiculous. Dowry is important and once we stop some traditions we end in this half baked marriages that last for the duration of the honeymoon. The old knew what they were doing, ppl today need to know what they can get and what they can. Keep to your niche.

[Mungiki]

mzungu alisema ati huwezi nunua upenzi. sisi ni WA-AFRICA kwahivyo ni lazima tuendelee na kununua mabibi kwasababu hiyo ndiyo maisha ya mwafrica. FREE YOURSELF FROM MENTAL SLAVERY