[playa]

REASONABLE!! TALKING 'BOUT REASONABLE BRIDE PRICE, SHU, I AINT PAYING NO DAMN BRIDE PRICE, MATTER OF FACT, THEY TOO CAN PAY A PRICE FOR ME AS WELL, I AINT BUYING NO LOVE, HELL NO !!

[kerubo]

It behooves that a party can opt to wed the western style or mzungu way and yet prior to that conveniently apply the tradition of bride price. In other words we pick and choose between which traditions to trash or keep. Which western styles to adopt and those to ignore. Human beings are amazing species!

Back to the topic 6m isn't reasonable at all. If the girl is learned I'm sure with her knowledge she too picked a learned man. Dowry should merely be a token of appreciation to the paros and for the girls parents to claim their daughter is educated is just another way of placing a price tag on their piece of property.

NOTHING IN LIFE IS TO BE FEARED. IT IS ONLY TO BE UNDERSTOOD.

[punju]

silipi!!!!

[Points]

From my view point, this is not even tradition because if it was traditional I believe it would have been something like goats, cows or other livestock. This is just sheer robbery.

[brownsugar]

6 million? That is robbery without violence in broad daylight!!!!

[kamata123]

kerubo wrote;

It behooves that a party can opt to wed the western style or mzungu way and yet prior to that conveniently apply the tradition of bride price. In other words we pick and choose between which traditions to trash or keep. Which western styles to adopt and those to ignore. Human beings are amazing species!

and I second it.

It is disgusting what the paros in -law to be are asking. This will definitely bring probos to the young couples marriage from day one.

I'ld like to hear more views from mashada women especially.

Personally I tend to think the whole thing is outdated just like the notion that was and still is in some communities/people that men are superior to women. The way I see it is that the two lovers can marry with or without their parents approval and still have a happy marriage. If the lady insists on bride price being paid ie 6 million or whatever which is a sum her husband to be can not raise comfortably/or not at all, then she has given up her right as an equal partner in the union if it ever takes place.

Mashada ladies, If I was a millionaire and paid up the 6 million shillings without a hustle (sp), What would prevent me from getting a second wifey and even a tenth one as long as I can provide for them?. And doesn't that reduce women to property?. Doesn't that make them inferior to me?.

In my opinion, dowry should be a sign of appreciation. It could be 2 cows six goats etc but not something outrageous as in 6 million. How do you expect the person who lives in Kibera, Mukuru kwa jenga or korogocho slums to raise 50,000 ati ni bride price whereas his daily existence is a struggle?

Another thing is traditionally in the community that I come from, there was no way you could pay the bride price all at once. If you went with your 6 million, the father in law could take 4 or 5 million then tell you the rest is a loan from him to you. Why? Because the marriagewas supposed to unite rather than divide the 2 families in that later on the son in law would come pay 5,000 or whatever until I don't know when.
(sorry for the long post)

Kamata123

[ciru]

prospective husbands should walk away from such extortion. :( lol @ 'keep ur daughter'!!! thats the spirit!! Although u should be doing it in the hope that ur bluff is not called, ama? :)

prospective wives should threaten to elope. ;)

[Nubian queen]

Are parents trying to shirk the responsibility of raising and educating their daughters? Why do I ask this? I ask this because I am strongly opposed to the way some parents abuse the dowry culture by making atrocious demands thus bringing the whole process into disrepute. If the 6 million dollar (or is it shilling) parents feel so strongly on "how much they invested" in their daughter and want a refund, I suggest they should have started off by asking HER to start making small repayments to THEM before she snared some innocent man for them to turn into a sucker.

Dowry is a form of expressing gratitude and cementing the relations between in laws, it shows a WOMAN'S WORTH and I don't mean that the family which receives 6 million has raised a better daughter than a family which receives 6,000, it's simply a matter of each one contributing according to his means!! The whole concept of paying dowry is not and should not be rendered obsolete , it is an integral part of our culture just as much as the concept of the extended family. This is our culture the mainstay of our existence. These very people who meet to negotiate the dowry, the very people who accept the dowry basically receive a license to provide guidance and counselling and support should things go wrong in this union (as they invariably do sometimes, more so now than ever!). Hii mambo ya dowry should not be trivialised.

Daughters did not shirk their responsibilty to their own parents once they got married, not then not now. Parents should NOT feel that their educated daughter is going to invest the fruits of her education somewhere else. Any man worth his salt should NOT prevent his wife from contributing to her family's wellbeing throughout their marriage and any in-laws should NOT come between a woman and her people/home,as a parent, you do that at your own peril, because what goes around inevitably does the rounds, you do that to someone's daughter and someone will do that to your own daughter (supposing you have a daughter that is) and above all, any married woman has a duty, an abligation not to forget the homestead where she was raised!!

Dowry payments should not be thrown out just because we have embraced the Penguin suit and meringue dress type of wedding (white wedding). I f anything, we should be glad that the whole modern affair consists of a one day circus as opposed to the traditional 4 days and three night affair (sometimes extended to seven days on a whim).

I suggest that all those who are opposed to the practise of dowry payments reconsider their position and all those demanding Pajeros, Daimlers and what have you should remember the condition of roads in Kenya and alter their perspective.

[Kyuk]

>>If you can't afford then, leave her
>>alone. The family of the lady knows that
>>true value of the lady at hand. They
>>sure do know how much money they have
>>"invested."
>>Pay up or do the shtepping you cheap
>>bastard!!!


Dowry is only meant for appreciation but when parents ask for too much than one can afford then its total abuse. We shouldnt treat a woman like some sort of property with some price tag on her. A marriage consists of two and there is no need taxing the man to the extent he can even have not enough to provide to his family. Its total crap to pay 6M while u cant even raise 1m in ur A/C. Personally I cant pay what i cant afford!!!! Ikae Kabisa..........kwani they wany all my fortune or what>>>>>> I will only pay whay is reasonable or she gets married to her dad!!!!!!!!!!

[Kyuk]

>prospective husbands should walk away
>from such extortion. :( lol @ 'keep ur
>daughter'!!! thats the spirit!! Although
>u should be doing it in the hope that ur
>bluff is not called, ama? :)
>
>prospective wives should threaten to
>elope. ;)

Its time the girls talked to their parents because theyR the main focus>>>>>>>>:9:9:7