[missed call]

• chic yako ana matako nono hasikii simu ikivibrate ikiwa kwa pocket ya nyuma

• Ati we ni mlafi mpaka ukismoke fegi una lamba vidole

• Ati nyi kwenyu mmesota mkishika shillingi MOI anabaki na VEST pekee...

[Lobix]

Babako ameokoka hadi akitaka kumtia mamako lazima aite crusade

[Mid9t]

eti you're so fat when you go to watch a movie you sit next to everyone!

[missed call]

talk of kuokoka .. lol
ati kwenu mmeokoka hata ugali mwapika na msalaba.

[Alja]

Matako kubwa, inzi akifly over anafikiria ametoboa mlima Kenya!

[Mwanaheri]

Mguu zako ni kama za kuku ukienda wasee wanadhani unarudi.

[mfanikiwa]

A joke!

This is a Conversation between a Kenyan Policeman and an local man who simply happens to be walking home from work late at night.


Gijana Untatoga wabi?
Jina yago nani?
Baba yago nani?
Unataga nini?

Gan you Broduce your ID?
Basi if you gannot broduce your ID
Wapi Gitambulisho?
If you gannot broduce Gitambulisho
Wapi drivers licence
If you gannot broduce the three gavament tocuments
Twende mbele!


(But I am innocent….)

Innocent gitu gani?
Haguna mutu innozent Genya
We gan charge you with anything
Unataga gani?
Smoking with violence
Looging at a female gender with breach of gontract
Looging at a government building zuzbiciously
With indend to gommit murder
Unataga gani?

Unaweza gujitetea?
Gitu gani hii?
Ati fifty bob
Hata haiwezi gununua jwing gum
Toa besa gijana

(…nibakishie bus fare)

Ogay,
You are a law abiding zitizen
Unataga tuguzindikishe?