[ZeuxHunk]

Swimo ya rabai ilijengwa kitambo.

Maze I remember dandiaring the 8b buses and the 7-a-side mathrees. There was one called "Kuga na Gwika" but that was a long time ago.

Maze we had a heady called Sir Michael de Silva. Then Sir Michael took over.
There was this teacher who was in the Police before he came to teach. Disciplinarian to death. At one time the jamaa chapad me with a bunsen burner pipe kwa mkono mpaka it furad (just coz I was 5 minutes late). I could not write the whole morning. I now think some of these teachers were saddist. Ama they had some mental probs. I cannot see myself hitting someone's kid like that.

There was this jamaa who stole from his dad, skived school at break time, went to POP-IN spent there then took a cab (London look Taxi) back to the school fence where he was caught trying to sneak back to school. The guy had a lot of nerve. There used to be "team ya John" vs. "Team ya Pato" every break and lunch time. John went on to join Mathare United was once its skipper.

Maze primo Eastlands was full time drama.


Bila Chuki!

[kaobird]

I went to shule in the bundus. It was something like 10 miles to the nearest main road. Hard life, was not even sure peros pendad me.

There was a ka-gang i was in made of Mirara(umo), SueKi, Sylvia(ksouth). Being a kiddo and easily pleased, we would ficha pesa given to us on visiting day. We would then kutana at the fence with the gals in the high skul next door to nunua for us patco and koh. One afte when doing the deals, the burner for hot water shikad kifafa and started burning sana. Being dry, si let the flames shika the fence (a shrub of sorts). We kimbiad to the dinning room where kiddos were feeding on muram to ambia them the skuls on fire. It was poeshwad and the next day si let Sister Christina call us into her ofis. Ati what were we doing by the fence? Suspension loomed.
I knew fathe would piga me if i was suspied from skul.

Luckily, there was mumps epidemic in skul. We all decided to shikisha ourselves mumps. Wen sent home, peros thot we was just unwell, but if only they knew.

There was another sister Mary, gai fafa. This woman would piga u when u got the spelling of surprise wrong (ati american english is not english). She broke a stick on my mkono and tld me if i liad, she'd break the whole hand. I nyamazad. That night i andikad barua to mathe semaing i'm being abused. The letter never fikad... wonder y. The matron was another mama called ...(ready for this?).....SUSAN MBORANGI-MBORA. I tell no lie. she was blue black, colour of kiwi and she pendad another sky blue skirt.

Music teacher...Mwaura would kuja class and start semaing 'rareni...kira mutu mbiri mbiri' (laleni kila mtu mbili mbili). He had a thing for me.....paedophilia 101.

And then we had visitors....mashetani which came from TZ with some other new gals in skul. rosarys were semad in their millions.

[jmburus]

That was the approved school

[WestPokot]

@jmburus!

Do i continue with the "muntu" storo ama u'll endelea with it? coz when us guys took off down the hill, we left sheer drama unfolding on Playeress!!
Did you ever hear what happened coz i remember there were two versions!

[jmburus]

>@jmburus!
>
>Do i continue with the "muntu" storo ama u'll endelea with it?
>coz when us guys took off down the hill, we left sheer drama
>unfolding on Playeress!!
>Did you ever hear what happened coz i remember there were two
>versions!


Endelea with the storo... coz I took off and really didnt see what happened.

[reggae analyst]

well well

i remember there was this teacher in our school who smelled fear whenever u pass her.manze when she passed by,there always used to be a mini earthquake.she had rusted teeth and rumours had it that she sometimes spits at your face when she is mad at you.u did not want to cross her line coz when she is chunaring (pinching) your maskio,trust me she will leaves pieces of your meat in her nails

anyway there was this time we was in class and it was just after breaktime.there was this chap nick-named hassa. that jama alikuwa mjuaji but knew nothing when it comes to book.anyway we had finished break and it was time to resume classes.

now the teacher was busy teaching some crazy ish (remember the g-clef and f-clef) in music.now as the boring lesson was going on,hassan stood up and went to whisper something to the teacher who was writting on the board

hassa:"please teacher may i go to the toilet?"
teacher:"no,you just came of break,if u pressed,get uzi (string) and tie your pee pee.if u must,then use a bootle to pee.

now hassa could not seat he was restless and really pressed.5 minutes passed and suddenly hassa stood up and holding his hiney,he took off like he saw a lion,in the mean time he was saying "please teacher i got feaces".before the teacher could say yes,hassa was already in the field.


too bad for him coz the toilets were on the other corner of the chuo.so he saw the only option i sthe school flower bushes.but before he reached there,he had dropped few pounds of sh*t.anyway,he relieved himself and needless to say that he did not return to school for the following 1 week.since then his nick name was feaces.

a couple of years later,i met hassa in gikomba selling mitumba.well atleast he found his calling in being a hawker.i could help but laugh when i remembered the name feaces

[sweetlezz]

>~ LOl, this thing of writing noisemakers down when the teacher
>leaves the class has got to be the silliest thing ever. Yaani
>even whispering to someone to borrow an eraser cost u big
>time...kwani some prefects were sadists like how? Halafu vile
>u beg them to rub ur name kabla the teacher rudis..lol.
>
manze then to make matters worse the prefect would put stars next to ur name if u kept making noise at the end of the day u have like 10 stars next to our name. geez its like they would get an award or sth. Lucky for us there was no canning we would just be made to kneel with out hands straight up or we would be made to pick papers around the school.

When i was in class 7 there was a spy in my class who would tell the teachers who is going out with who. The one day we were all taken to the staff room in front of all the teachers to sema if we were boyfriend en girlfriend. Obvoiusly since no one owned up so, they were like they never want to see anyone together with the person the spy said they were going out with en all the teachers were given THE list of the "couples" who should never be seen together. So we would chill mpaka home time to do all the naughty stuff.

Omg this is probably the most absurd(sp) thing they ever did to us. See the gals uniforms were see thru after a couple of washes en most of us never wore petticoats en our dresses were really short. One of the female teachers must have noticed this coz all the gals class 7 were called for a meeting in the hall en we were told that they will start checking eveyone if they are wearing a petticoat. So every morning after assembly we would line up en the class teacher would check us all. Heeee how retarded was that?

[Paudah_Paf]

:7 Haki ya nani wewe Analyst ni mnoma, hio risto imenichekesha bana.
Ati alikuwa ashaangusha kadhaa... heh heh.

I got lucky because just before I was placed in a Gova primary, I got a place in a private school in Lang'ata.

At first niliwashwa mbele we never used to get 'maziwa ya nyayo' lakini when I found out that there was school lunch and on Friday it was chapos nilifurahi niaje.
Sasa, I came in with all sort of terrible knowledge that the poor private-school kids hawakujua.
I remember when I first unleashed my 'chuvyu' this was a simple wire catapult, you simply cut off a section from a hanger bent it into a V and tied a rubber-band to it.
The preferred ammo was a corner of paper (kwanza the 'dogs-ears' you'd get tandikwad for having coz it meant you weren't taking care of your books).
You folded the paper vizuri then bent it and loaded it.
Then locate a target (the back of the ear was particularly painful) and BOMBS AWAY!

Heh heh, kids being kids the whole class soon caught on and even the chics were in it.

What happened was when the teacher had turned and was andikaing on the board a small war would break out with papers flying everywhere and muffled cries of agony were heard wholesale.
One sadistic chic introduced 'torpedoes'.
This involved leaning beneath the desk and targeting the soft flesh behind the knee with your chuvyu. Manze that ish was painful bana.

Our wars came to an end abruptly one day. Some idiot backbencher was in so much pain after catching a direct hit between the eyes that he unleashed his return fire bila aiming...
...Straight at the back of the teacher's neck.
...who happened to be the maths teacher AND headmaster.

An immediate search was carried out for what he called 'dangerous weapons' and guess what? I had a small manufacturing industry in my desk for both the weapons and the ammo. I even had varieties, school-book paper, newspaper, carboard...

I and other offenders who were not fortunate enough to sit near windows (i.e. didn't hastily offload the 'evidence') were frog-marched to the head office.
Along the way some terrified rat blurted out that I was the mastermind of the whole scheme and I was saved for last during caning.

Chics were getting it on their hands, boys on their butts lakini I got double dose.

The jamaa was so furious he loosened his tie when I walked into the office and could hardly speak. He'd reverted to a thick Kyuk accent in the meanwhile. "MBEND HOVER!!", "TACHI YUA TOES!!".
I was frozen in terror and caught a few around the back before I complied. The beating was so bad I couldn't straighten myself afterwards. He misunderstood the grimace of pain on my face for a smile and ordered me to "STICKI HOUT YUA HANDS!!".
At least it took my mind off the pain in my butt... for a while.
And being a hard-nut, I never cried through the whole ordeal. I'd grown up being beaten by my bros, my mum, the 'first-body' of mtaani so I had a way of closing up to pain.
Of course this only made the heady madder and the beating harder.

When I walked out of that office with reddened hands and striped shorts BUT dry eyes I earned the undying respect of my classmates.

[jackxs]

tsk tsk tsk Gal umenikumbusha mengi, i wasnt in any eastlands primo but i kumbuka pia sisi tuliitwa staffo tukiwa class seven kusema nani chali/manzi ya mwingine, then ofcourse came the long lecture ....."you see boys and gals..."the rest must have been blah blah all thru coz i kumbuka zilch.

Anyway come to think of it you havent mentioned ile ulikuwa, Hm maybe we were together in that room and maybe... hehehe uLIKUWA WANGU!!!!!

[kukumanga]

You ain't know no pain if you ain't tasted Black belt or fan belt from Mrs. Wainaina, the heady of Musa Gitau.

Details at eleven.

kuku