[Waithera Cherono Akoth]

yes...,its is very genuine......,i talk too much so al try to be precise!!!!

i want us to discuss marriage.....,i bet on it that mashadites are eitha married or getting thea so one way or the atha....,wer in it!!!

wen is the right time to get married in ur opinion?!!!
wen u have money, wen ur parents think its time, when ur done with education, when ur old enuff,wen u find the one, when u feel ready....., ....,

i mean..., wot if u have money and feel ready but not old enuff...or
wat if ur old enuff and don have money, or feel ready and dont have education,...,think about it..,

u can be maried and be in skul..,esp if ur in states....,
so wots the big deal about graduating first.....,
then the issue of kids..., who said getting maried is having children,,..
si u can wait till the time is right.............,

...........,and honestly speaking is thea such a thing as the right age to get maried....., wat difference daz it make..,if the right age to be maried for women is 25 as people put it.......,ebu tell me wot ul kno in 5 or 3 years time about mariage that u dont kno now...., it is jus ridiculous!!!

correct me if am wrong but defenition of marriage according to the
dictionary is a legal or religious agreement that formalizes the decision of a man and woman to live as husband and wife...,simple.... period!!!!!!!!!!

so do u need money, age factor,education, aproval and all these etc etc to
make a commitment to someone,....,
it don make no sense to me at all....,
when is the right time......,somebody please say smthng?!!!!
am confused!!!!

[Ester]

Ahhhh Marriage......

*SIGH*

There's nothing like being in love. Holding hands....kissing......having companionship....and..

Marriage.

We all hope for it, right?

Actually, this post is more about being single than about marriage...

(allow me to plagiarize kidogo, I got this from one of my favorite bloggers, here); she puts it so well that I don't really have much to add on...

Anywho, you've posed a really good question and I'm looking forward to reading from other peeps.

"Ya see, I am enjoying my singleness right now and I thank God for it. I thank God for the wisdom to know that I'm not ready yet. How do I know that? Well, let's take one of the most popular Biblical stories: The creation of Adam and Eve.

Okay, notice God's order: Adam was on Earth by himself naming everything. Think about how long he was roaming the garden giving things names! The Bible never specifies how long Adam was on the earth by himself, but he was on the earth long enough to figure out that there was no animal or plant or anything that he could relate to. At that time is when God decided to bring Eve into the picture.

So what does this tell me?

God wants me to "handle business" prior to me receiveing a mate. Think about it: God could have easily made Eve two seconds after making Adam and they could've roamed the garden together naming and discovering things.

But He didn't!

When Eve came into the picture, Adam already had a home for her, he knew how to grow things in the garden, he knew where to get water, etc.etc.

How much work do you think Adam would've got dome with "naked Eve" standing around?

If he was like most men, none!!!

God has a divine order for EVERYTHING!!!

So, as much as women talk about "meeting the man of your dreams," we should make sure that we're the women of their dreams when we meet them!!!

Take care of business: Have a plan....complete your studies....get a job....have your credit in order....be able to bring something to the table PRIOR to getting married. "

Originally Posted by Waithera Cherono Akoth

u can be maried and be in skul..,esp if ur in states....,
so wots the big deal about graduating first.....,
then the issue of kids..., who said getting maried is having children,,..
si u can wait till the time is right.............,

...........,and honestly speaking is thea such a thing as the right age to get maried....., wat difference daz it make..,if the right age to be maried for women is 25 as people put it.......,ebu tell me wot ul kno in 5 or 3 years time about mariage that u dont kno now...., it is jus ridiculous!!!

It's hard, sis. Most couples say that and then end up having kids before the time they had agreed to start trying. IMO, it's not a good idea to get married if you're not prepared to have kids at any time. That way, if anything happens both of you can step up to the plate and take care of your responsibility.

Age is kinda controversial. Some young people even teens act more mature than 20-somethings... but at the same time, it's amazing how much we change over the years. When I was 18, I thought I was all grown up and knew everything about anything...Looking back, just 3 years have passed, and to realize how stupid and naive I was...wow! Same to you; in five years time, I guarantee that you will be a totally different, sophisticated person. Therefore, the person you're with might be good for the present; but do you see yourself growing and staying with him 10,20,30 years from now?!

[Waithera Cherono Akoth]

Okay, notice God's order: Adam was on Earth by himself naming everything. Think about how long he was roaming the garden giving things names! The Bible never specifies how long Adam was on the earth by himself, but he was on the earth long enough to figure out that there was no animal or plant or anything that he could relate to. At that time is when God decided to bring Eve into the picture.

So what does this tell me?

When Eve came into the picture, Adam already had a home for her, he knew how to grow things in the garden, he knew where to get water, etc.etc.

How much work do you think Adam would've got dome with "naked Eve" standing around?

so wot if Adam am talkin about is already done with naming animals and has started wandaring and finally found Eve......,but Eve is in skul and is financially stable.....,and young too?!!!!


So, as much as women talk about "meeting the man of your dreams," we should make sure that we're the women of their dreams when we meet them!!!


i like this point.....,it is fair,......,!!

Take care of business: Have a plan....complete your studies....get a job....have your credit in order....be able to bring something to the table PRIOR to getting married. "

ok ..., i hear u...,i do!!!! but i have a question...
if u get married wen ur not done with skul but is financially stable...,
is it wrong..,daz it mean u don have a plan?!!!



It's hard, sis. Most couples say that and then end up having kids before the time they had agreed to start trying. IMO, it's not a good idea to get married if you're not prepared to have kids at any time. That way, if anything happens both of you can step up to the plate and take care of your responsibility.

Age is kinda controversial. Some young people even teens act more mature than 20-somethings... but at the same time, it's amazing how much we change over the years. When I was 18, I thought I was all grown up and knew everything about anything...Looking back, just 3 years have passed, and to realize how stupid and naive I was...wow! Same to you; in five years time, I guarantee that you will be a totally different, sophisticated person. Therefore, the person you're with might be good for the present; but do you see yourself growing and staying with him 10,20,30 years from now?![/quote]

i need to research about this because am not too sure!!!!

[Ester]

Originally Posted by Waithera Cherono Akoth

so wot if Adam am talkin about is already done with naming animals and has started wandaring and finally found Eve......,but Eve is in skul and is financially stable.....,and young too?!!!!

ok ..., i hear u...,i do!!!! but i have a question...
if u get married wen ur not done with skul but is financially stable...,
is it wrong..,daz it mean u don have a plan?!!!

Good point there. However, notice God didn't bring a baby Eve to Adam. She came into his life as a fully grown, mature woman to be his helper. My point is that marriage is some serious biz so it's better to be prepared beforehand, than trying to figure out the basics when you're in it already. Let's say you suspend your education or work, and stuff happened along the way that you never got the chance to continue as soon as you wanted,.... that can create resentment coz you'll start feeling like "well, if it wasn't for him I would have accomplished so much by now, etc" and that's how problems start! There's a saying that goes, "don't marry at haste to repent at leisure. Rather, do the opposite and marry at leisure to repent, if ever, in haste."
Take your time, darl. If it was meant to be it will happen in God's own good timing!!

[Waithera Cherono Akoth]

what wud i do without u ester....,
u a darling!!!!

[barb]

Waithera, is there smth you are not telling me?? we need to talk asap!!!

""There is no right time to get married, you'll personally know when the time is right"" this are some of the cliches you'll hear pple telling you, but i personally dispute them coz i go with statistics.

I read a book called "Marriage and Family" i dont remember the author and it stated that the rate of divorce is lower for men and women who marry for the first time at ages 28 or later. So the chances of a greater stable marriage increases as both partners reach age 30 and then they drop.

The main reason why this is, is coz most pple at this age have identified themselves in a precise and detailed way. When identity process is well developed the task of selecting the right marriage partner becomes significantly easier...

Personally, i plan to get married at age 28 or 30, when am done with schl, am a home owner, probably with my own practice, have already exhausted the single life and believe you me wca, pple will tell you that you are too old to get married by then, but those same pple have probably been married twice or more. I always say, i want to get married but i dont want to get divorced so i will take my time and make sure its right.
But this doesnt mean that early marriages dont work, but its a gamble a big one.

[okiedokes]

@Waithera...the girls have made good points. All I'll add is that you should take your time, don't rush it. I hope you are not under pressure to accept a marriage proposal? You can be engaged for years but I will suggest you wait till you finish school, and get a job before you marry. It is also very important that your family meets this man and gets to know him especially since you are in a foreign land. With strong family ties there's little a man can do to maltreat you.
Many women think they can marry and just continue going to school but before you know it, you'll be pregnant, take time off school to care for the baby and may be never return to school. Whatever you do, do not move in with Believe me, even when a man loves you, you still need your own thing(i.e edcation) so you can be independent and be your own person. Take your time my dear. It's worth the wait.

[msema ukweli Kabisa]

so now that I just got recently married, here is the advise! Its best for both of you to be done with school, Its really hard to mix both esp coz you may end up getting a kid. I learnt this from close friends.

have jobs or atleast a stable source of income. People say money is the root of all evil. Well maybe, but iits also the root of all arguements.

long engagement is nice, or rather datiing for a good period of time.

Finally you have to be grown! as in mature in life. What sucks most is babies starting a family

[Augustine]

Hun....why discuss marriage.......we need to talk...is thea something u not telling me???????

I will comment when sober!!!!

[KEMINOKANA]

You can read books upon books. Watch videos upon videos. Go counseling after counseling. But until you are in it, you will never understand marriage. Even when you are in it, you still wont. You work it as you go. Of importance is not money, education or career but maturity. You can have all the degrees, money and best career but as long as you dont carry yourself maturely, it will not work. Being mature does not end at "I can stand on my own". No. It encompasses understanding what the other person likes and giving him/her more of it, knowing what they dislike and reducing such. That sounds easy....but it aint. If you have that and have met the person, you are good to go. A word of advice, dont waste your money on a lavish wedding. That day will come and go like any other and it wouldnt have added a thing to your marriage.