[sugarNspice]

I was thinking about how cultures are so different. Things that are unique to Kenyan culture compared to my culture. I also thought about various other cultures compared to mine.
I love cultures and the differences that make us unique. I think this is what makes the world go round. If we were all the same...how boring would that be???

These are a few of my observations/experiences as an Italian-American going into the Kenyan community through my eyes.
Please tell me your experience about going into other cultures and how you saw these experiences. Maybe we can all learn to appreciate and understand each other better.

Nothing rude please.

*******(Again this is through my own experiences and observations having friends from numerous cultures.

Nothing is ever cut and dry...I am referring to most people and of course everyone does not fit what I am about to say. However I am sure that most people living in the states will admit that majority of the time this holds true. )

Entering a Kenyan home:
I know when I enter a Kenyan home (in the US), I am to take off my shoes. Leave the shoes at the door.

If you go to a white-American home, you leave your shoes on. Taking the shoes off at the door would mean you are getting too comfortable in the persons home. ****I am not referring to good friends homes or relatives because of course your able to kick back and relax. Only then would it be okay to take off your shoes.

I notice with African Americans it is a 50-50 thing about the shoes. You kind of look to see if there are a bunch of shoes at the door before you make a decision.

Greetings/gatherings:
Chances are someone you know told you to come to the party. The person who told you is not the host. You found out about the party minutes before you end up there. You may not even know who the people throwing the party are or what the party has to do with until you get there (for instance a baby shower). But no one minds that you showed up....just come in and enjoy. Everyone is welcome.

If you see older people when you enter the home...you always go immediately to them, shake hands and greet.
Chances are no one will introduce you to these people...you should just immediately go around and shake hands (introduce yourself).


If you go to an American party, (lets stick with the baby shower) you were invited to the party. You better not just tell someone to come until you cleared it with the host. You def know who is throwing the baby shower and that it is a baby shower that you are attending. You were invited to this party weeks before by the person throwing the party.
If there are people that you don't know, someone takes you around to introduce you to the people. Other then that there is a good chance you may not even end up talking to these people that you were not introduced to unless by chance. If you go around and introduce yourself to the people as you do in the Kenyan/African party they could view that is odd.

Out of town visitors:
In Kenyan culture, I notice it is more polite to serve an out of town visitor a home cooked meal. It would be rude to take this person to a restaurant to eat out. My friends and I came to the conclusion that taking someone to a restaurant would mean you are not worth the effort to cook for them.

White-American culture, it is more polite to take the guests out to eat at a nice restaurant. Making a home cooked meal would mean you are cheap. You would show the family you appreciate the visit by spending money and taking them somewhere nice. Also, the guest can pick something from the menu that they like and are in the mood to eat since there are a wide range of food. (in comparison the kenyan culture seems to have specific meals that everyone tends to eat...example being stew/ugali/greens/chapati. With americans some are vegetarians that don't eat meat, some are the vegetarians that don't eat meat or any animal products such as eggs, some don't eat carbs, some don't eat this, some don't eat that, or they are allergic to this or that, this one hates onions and the list goes on and on)

****So my point in talking about this is once you can understand someone else’s culture you can see how someone is not purposely being rude. A lot of things boil down to culture. Don't jump and think someone is purposely being rude when someone may honestly not know. No culture is superior to any other culture. Each culture is unique and should be respected.
Once someone understands the others culture they then can do the things such as going around to greet or take off your the shoes when entering. Chances are they did not know and were never exposed to the culture. Most people don't want to be purposely rude in person (just on the net).

I am so lucky to have the wonderful friends that I have known for years that have welcomed me into the Kenyan community and taught me so much about the culture. Plus kenyan food is the best they weren't getting rid of me that easy how else would I get to eat my chapati...jk

[sdolphin]

My first culture shock was when i was invited to a wedding by a friend of the bride, well, the after party. I didn't mind seeing as i didn't know the couple.

The shocking bit was finding out that a mother of 2 kids who were 5 and 10 yrs old had been invited for the whole ceremony, but the kids were only allowed to attend the after party. Apparently it had something to do with the budget.

If i was the mother, i wouldn't attend. End of!

There were other kids at the church and reception.

[grip_daddy]

Wow,

Thanks for this enlightenment. I really am amazed by how the same act can mean totally opposite intents when practiced at different settings.

[Type R]

Originally Posted by sugarNspice

Out of town visitors:
In Kenyan culture, I notice it is more polite to serve an out of town visitor a home cooked meal. It would be rude to take this person to a restaurant to eat out. My friends and I came to the conclusion that taking someone to a restaurant would mean you are not worth the effort to cook for them.

There's something emotionally distant about a restaurant. Like "not part of the family." Would never take my aunts, uncles out to one. However, younger generation are more accepting, but instinct still rules and visiting cousins still eat at home.

[barb]

Entering a Kenyan home:
I know when I enter a Kenyan home (in the US), I am to take off my shoes. Leave the shoes at the door.

very, very true, i was raised to the belief that its is a sign of respect, and it has grown in me, i even feel offended if you visit me and dont take off your shoes, its very rude......

Greetings/gatherings:
Chances are someone you know told you to come to the party. The person who told you is not the host. You found out about the party minutes before you end up there. You may not even know who the people throwing the party are or what the party has to do with until you get there (for instance a baby shower). But no one minds that you showed up....just come in and enjoy. Everyone is welcome.

lol...talk abt party crashers..

****So my point in talking about this is once you can understand someone else’s culture you can see how someone is not purposely being rude. A lot of things boil down to culture. Don't jump and think someone is purposely being rude when someone may honestly not know. No culture is superior to any other culture. Each culture is unique and should be respected.
Once someone understands the others culture they then can do the things such as going around to greet or take off your the shoes when entering. Chances are they did not know and were never exposed to the culture. Most people don't want to be purposely rude in person (just on the net).

very true....when you tell me that am whack, that would mean am nuts, try telling an Italian that he is whack....one same word, but means two totally different things....

[sugarNspice]

very true....when you tell me that am whack, that would mean am nuts, try telling an Italian that he is whack....one same word, but means two totally different things....

Barb, when I hear the word whack I think of nut too. Are you sure your Italian friend does not think you are calling him a WHOP?
Whop is a word that people used to call italians when they first came to the US. WHOP would be equal to the "N" word. Although you may hear Italians saying it to each other joking. If one of my good friends said it to me joking , I would not find it offensive. But some people say it to be rude.

Most people don't even know what it stands for Without papers (WHOP). When Italians came here majority did not have legal papers to work.

Ask you friend if he think you are calling him a WHOP?
I am sure you guys may have a good laugh

[barb]

@Sns, he came from deep in Sicily and he told me that when you tell another Italian person that he is whack it means he is a dead man.
He told me whack means killing/slaughtering/brutally killing somebody....
Ill ask him abt the whop...

[sugarNspice]

ohhhh, like the person is going to "get whacked?"
or "they are going to whack the person?"

Okay, if you say it in a sentence I understand now.

[barb]

Originally Posted by sugarNspice

ohhhh, like the person is going to "get whacked?"

exactly.....

[sugarNspice]

loool, I never even realized that was an Italian thing.

Have you ever seen the movie Bronx Tale? It is really good.
I am sure he watches a lot of the Italian movies.
Bronx Tale, Casino and Jersey Girl (the old one not the new one that came out) are my favorites. Jersey Girl is a girlish movie though.