Having your foreign spouse pay dowry

ikea · #1 (**permalink**) 6th July 2008, 11:42 PM

Okay so u have met the one and its time for the traditional thing with marriage bla bla blah....
If its not their tradition to pay dowry do u make them do it anyway to please ur parents/relatives or wat?

okiedokes · #2 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ikea

Okay so u have met the one and its time for the traditional thing with marriage bla bla blah....
If its not their tradition to pay dowry do u make them do it anyway to please ur parents/relatives or wat?

I don't remember the dowry thing being about pleasing anyone. It's part of your tradition, and even if your parents opt out, some relatives will still be annoyed by the decision. So my advice, if he's gonna marry you then he needs to embrace all aspects of you.
Just have a discussion with him, and explain it to him. I have a feeling you are the one making a big deal of it b/c he just may understand.

Meeting with an older kenyan couple in your area might help explains things. Heck, some foreigners even want to experience this traditional wedding in person. You both can travel there too, if it's possible.

I hope you know that in the Western world, the woman's family pays for the wedding!

But he may still opt to pay for it. Communication, communication!

moveon · #3 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 12:18 AM

Kwani anafikiri your ass is free!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ikea

Okay so u have met the one and its time for the traditional thing with marriage bla bla blah....
If its not their tradition to pay dowry do u make them do it anyway to please ur parents/relatives or wat?

ikea · #4 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okiedokes

I don't remember the dowry thing being about pleasing anyone. It's part of your tradition, and even if your parents opt out, some relatives will still be annoyed by the decision. So my advice, if he's gonna marry you then he needs to embrace all aspects of you.
Just have a discussion with him, and explain it to him. I have a feeling you are the one making a big deal of it b/c he just may understand.

Meeting with an older kenyan couple in your area might help explains things. Heck, some foreigners even want to experience this traditional wedding in person. You both can travel there too, if it's possible.

I hope you know that in the Western world, the woman's family pays for the wedding!

But he may still opt to pay for it. Communication, communication!

WTF did I say I was getting married?? This was a hypothetical question but thank you anywayz......

okiedokes · #5 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ikea

WTF did I say I was getting married?? This was a hypothetical question but thank you anywayz......

Quit being a defensive little b*tch and heed to the advice or ignore it.

No doubt you can't even make up your mind whether a man should pay dowry for you or not.

By the way "you"(in my previous post) is not necessarily referring to you(Ikea) per se but anyone in such a situation. But if you are so defensive then may be some nerves were hit.

ikea · #6 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okiedokes

Quit being a defensive little b*tch and heed to the advice or ignore it.

No doubt you can't even make up your mind whether a man should pay dowry for you or not.

By the way "you"(in my previous post) is not necessarily referring to you(Ikea) per se but anyone in such a situation. But if you are so defensive then may be some nerves were hit.

Okay whatever get rid of the backed up sperm in ya' and have moveon join you.

moveon · #7 (**permalink**) 7th July 2008, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by okiedokes

Quit being a defensive little b*tch and heed to the advice or ignore it.:rolleyes: No doubt you can't even make up your mind whether a man should pay dowry for you or not.

By the way "you"(in my previous post) is not necessarily referring to you(Ikea) per se but anyone in such a situation. But if you are so defensive then may be some nerves were hit.

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