[Senge]

Originally Posted by carolecarole

I was walking past Mathari mental hospital the other day,

and all the patients were shouting, '13...13....13...13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the
planks and looked through to see what was going on.

Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting. '14...14...14...14....’

I laughed so hard mpaka my colleagues at work thought I was going nuts! Good one if and when you get it the first time. Wah!

[carolecarole]

Originally Posted by Senge

I laughed so hard mpaka my colleagues at work thought I was going nuts! Good one if and when you get it the first time. Wah!

Imagine I can hear yu laugh(n it is 2am here!)
Nikicheza nitajipata na hao ndugu na dada nikishout 14..14..14..

[Bitten]

hahahahahahaha...pheew haki nimecheka mpaka nimeamsha watu kwa hao...you guys have made my night....i can now sleep...and eti mathare being an eye hosi... mi hapana skia hio...

[itchyfingaz]

the explaining bit ruined all your jokes!lakini nimecheka kaa chizi wa mathach.

[githulov]

ahahahahaha its damn funny maybe you were the 14th person ahahaahah

[cinoman]

Originally Posted by githulov

ahahahahaha its damn funny maybe you were the 14th person ahahaahah

Hahaha! Now this ^ is the quote of the year!!!

[sdolphin]

Originally Posted by cinoman

Hahaha! Now this ^ is the quote of the year!!!

Seconded (is that a word?)

[infinitepyro]

Originally Posted by THE PUNDIT

which puts you in at number 4

Originally Posted by nyanam

infinite, hujashika? let me see if i can explain..yaani these patients conclude that the visitor is one of them as in he's also mentally sick.thats why they play hide and seek with him.hence the tapo is to mean he's included in the game.even thouh ametoka nje, he's like one of them crazy people in the hosp. umeshika sasa?

I thank both of ya'll for the concern over my mental capabilities but see I was referin 2 the other joke about the mathare peeps playin 'tapo' which apparently no one seems to have elewad. But I'll let that one slide. Thank u again.

In unrelated matters, a new priest was so nervous at his first Mass that he could hardly speak well at all. Before his second appearance in the pulpit, he asked the monsegnior how he could relax. The monsegnior said to him: "Next Sunday, it might help you if you put some vodka in the water pitcher. After one or two sips, it'll go fine." Next Sunday, the new priest followed the
monsignior's suggestion, and boy could he talk! -- never the less, when he
returned to the rectory, he found a letter from the monsegnior:

1. Next time, sip, don't gulp
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12
3. There are 12 Apostles, not 10
4. We never refer to the Cross as the "Big T"
5. The recommended grace before meals is not "rub-a-dub-dub thanks for the grub"
6. Don't refer to our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and his apostles as "J.C. and the Boys"
7. David 'slew' Goliath, he didn't 'kick his ass'
8. We don't refer to the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit as the 'Big Daddy, Junior, and the Spook.'
9. The idea of a drive-in confessional is excellent, but the sign, 'Toot-n-Tell or Go to Hell' has to go
10. Next Sunday, there is a taffy-pulling contest at Saint Peters, not a 'peter-pulling contest at Saint Taffy's
11. Last, but not least, we say The Virgin Mary, not the 'Mary with the Cherry.'

[unity07]

A nurse, a politician, a little boy scout and a pastor were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane.

Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down.

Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out.

Unfortunately there were only three parachutes remaining.

The nurse grabbed one and said “I’m a nurse, I save lives, so I must live,” and jumped out.

The politician then said “I’m the smartest man in the world, I deserve to live!” He grabbed a parachute and jumped, also.

The pastor looked at the little boy scout and said, “My son, I’ve lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace.”

The little boy scout handed the parachute back to the pastor and said “Not to worry, Preacher. ‘The smartest man in the world’ just jumped out with my back pack.”

[Ester]

^^^ hahaaaaaah! That was hilarious

check this one out..

There were a total of 15 passengers boarding a small plane on their way to Leeds . One black mother and her child were on their way to visit relatives while the other passengers consisted of the KKK on their way to a convention.

The plane took off and after flying for approximately 12 minutes an announcement came over the intercom from the pilot saying: "We have overloaded this flight. We are going to have to start throwing luggage out the window so the plane won't go down."

Two minutes later you could see luggage being thrown out the window.
Five minutes after that, the pilot made a second announcement. "We are still experiencing problems.
We're sorry, but the plane is still overloaded and we're going to have to get rid of some of the weight so the plane won't go down."

"We're going to have to ask some passengers to jump out of the window when we call you by your name. To make it fair, we'll go alphabetically.
We'll start with A.

Will all the African Americans please jump now?" The black woman and her child continued to sit. The pilot came over the intercom system.
"Next is B.

Will all the Black people please jump now"? The Black woman and child continued to sit. The pilot came over the intercom system again.
"Next is C.

Will all the colored people please jump now? All the KKK were now staring at the mother and child. The black woman and child continued to sit.

The child then looked up at her Mom and said: "Mom aren't we all of those?"
The mother then replied to her daughter, "Baby, we Negroes tonight and the K's come before the N's."