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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 4th November 2009, 04:41 PM
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Perfect example....my parents met 30 years ago...dated....have never been married n i don think they will ever......they have raised me ...my bro n siz in the best way they only could...They gave us a decent moral basis, never seen my parents mad at each other or anything, i just know they love us and each other so much n am proud of them. My siblings tho` younger than me, i knw they will turn out good like me if not better. My parents anniversary? The day they met......

N remind you they are not married......30yrs plus n still strong as ever!!!
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Old 4th November 2009, 04:41 PM
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Marriage is not just love but a partnership to succeed @ life together through it all ! But why do people sign up and then break contract sooo soon and often? Because they sign da contract toooo early in life !!
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Old 5th November 2009, 07:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slaggard View Post
both love and marriage can exist without the other.
only the stupid get married for love.
best reason to get married---money
marriage is a contract,,,,one that entitles you to property. i suggest that you get married when marriage furthers your financial position. any other reason can get you feeling stupid when you revisit the D-court.
marriage license----$60
divorce costs-----$250-$$$$$$
marriage is big business.
LMAO, huyu ni accountant roho safi wawawa! Mashadites are figgin funny!
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Old 5th November 2009, 07:32 AM
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Augustine your family story is inspiring in some ways...i think your parents had agreed on this though. Serious differences come up when one person needs marriage to feels 'loved' when the other completely feels loved with just ditching the whole thing... Mandom i think italians are black (i meant 'not-white', so to speak) goodness me, if you have ever had any latino/italian/asian close friends, you'll see it. You'll sit there nodding at the many familiar things you see and hear. However, the Afro black is another level. We have drama. Juzi we were laughing our asses off with some other Africans about how there aint no need for an invitation card for weddings at home, watu watatokea from east to west unless you make it kind of hidden, which will be translated as pride/meaness etc (which most people these days just choose to ignore) That card with 'mr and mrs nani nani and family can make you go nuts. The 'and family' will certainly not be their children/their children's children only. Utapenda! There are aspects i love in this though, the togetherness, me likes, but can be figgin annoying too. I really think it's mostly just law and religion that drive people to marriage.Otherwise people would just chill lol.

Last edited by ThisAngelWearsGivenchy; 5th November 2009 at 07:35 AM.
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Old 5th November 2009, 11:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Augustine View Post
Perfect example....my parents met 30 years ago...dated....have never been married n i don think they will ever......they have raised me ...my bro n siz in the best way they only could...They gave us a decent moral basis, never seen my parents mad at each other or anything, i just know they love us and each other so much n am proud of them. My siblings tho` younger than me, i knw they will turn out good like me if not better. My parents anniversary? The day they met......

N remind you they are not married......30yrs plus n still strong as ever!!!
wacha uongo. so you dad has never even paid dowry.... and what is your surname is it your fathers.

Again in the african context your dad and mum are so married... Unless you are confusing have a wedding and being married. Those are two different things
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Old 5th November 2009, 07:26 PM
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First, what is marriage? Once that is answered, you can begin to discuss.

In some African traditions, long before the white man came thus no 'legal' contracts, marriage started the moment a woman abandoned her home to stay with another man. People didn't go around saying 'your girlfriend' even if you hadn't paid dowry.

However, both the African and western definitions of marriage have one similarity: in both, a woman and man must be cohabiting. The question then is, why would people cohabit? It could be to have sex, make babies, out of love or all of the above. So marriage can be proof that love exists.
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Old 5th November 2009, 08:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msema ukweli Kabisa View Post
wacha uongo. so you dad has never even paid dowry.... and what is your surname is it your fathers.

Again in the african context your dad and mum are so married... Unless you are confusing have a wedding and being married. Those are two different things
MUk ...based on the fact that nothing btw them was or is legally binding! Thea was no traditional iish performed or anything but hey, he paid dowry....now traditionally i gues they r married!....only coz he paid dowry!
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 6th November 2009, 05:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KEMINOKANA View Post
In some African traditions, long before the white man came thus no 'legal' contracts, marriage started the moment a woman abandoned her home to stay with another man. People didn't go around saying 'your girlfriend' even if you hadn't paid dowry.
This answers the question. There was no law, the lands were vast, you could migrate. But people still paired up (married) and brought forth children.

But is that a proof of love??

Protecting, feeding, offering comfort, pro creating these are love elements. I have a feeling the love being compared here is the 'emotional rush', 'the feel'.

For me love is an act, you show your love by your actions, not by your words. So these actions do show love.

'Come we stay' (those not recognised by anybody, not to be confused by recognised unions by both sides of the family) situations leaves everybody vulnerable, especially children coz they are not protected, no insurance. You protect those you love in every possible way, so if you dont protect, you don't love.

My question is, if we remove marriage or (not wedding).What other way can you express ultimate love?? Apart from dying for someone?? (am not saying there isn't, its just that its not in my head right now)
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