[Busy]

Si that funny, especially the teacher - student compe.I guess it was stiff and fun too.hahahaha.Thanx for making my day

[sdolphin]

What better way to start my day
Good morning people

[Busy]

Originally Posted by sdolphin

What better way to start my day
Good morning people

morning sdolphin

[YB*]

Howard was feeling guilty all day long. No matter how much he
tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of
betrayal was overwhelming.

Every once in a while he'd hear a soothing voice trying to
reassure him - "Howard, don't worry about it. You aren't the
first doctor to sleep with one of his patients and you won't be
the last."

But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality -
"Howard, you're a veterinarian."

***********************************************

A woman goes to see her Podiatrist. She says,

"Doc, I just got back from a few weeks in the Bahamas and the
weather was so great I spent most of the days just lying on the
sand. But the strangest thing happened. Whenever a good looking
guy came by, I would get this strange tingling sensation between
my toes."

The podiatrist thought this was kind of unusual and examined her.

He asked her if she had this sensation between all of her toes.

"Actually no," She replied, "Just between my 2 big toes!"

***********************************************

Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing
business, and one of the hookers said,

"Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air."

The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."

[YB*]

"Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs."
- P.J. O'Rourke

"The Senate was holding hearings on deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly, making them think they're going to get a bunch of money, when in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security."
- Colin Quinn

"Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busydriving cabs and cutting hair."
- George Burns

"I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected."
- Henny Youngman

"Mormons are very organized. I had this neighbor Mrs. Mabey who stocked canned goods in her basement, so she could be prepared for when Christ returns to Earth. Because apparently what Christ is looking for is creamed corn."
- Natasha Ahanin

"Do you know what you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an Athiest? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason."
- Guy Owen

"When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, "Give me a table near a waiter."
- Henny Youngman


************************************************** ********


There was this blonde who just got sick and tired of all the
blonde jokes she'd hear at the office. So one evening she went
home and memorized all the state capitals.

Back in the office the next day, some guy started telling a Dumb
Blonde joke. She interrupted him with a shrill announcement,

"I've had it up to here with these blonde jokes. I want you to
know that this blonde went home last night and did something
probably none of you could do...I memorized all the state
capitals."

One of the guys said "I don't believe you."

She said, "It's true. Just test me!"

"Okay. What is the capital of Alaska," he asked?

"A" she answered.

[Ester]

Hi guyz!!

Hii place ni set, hakuna traffic na issues mob, lol. I think I'll camp here for a while but first let me pull up a comfy sofa, get a drink and laugh my heart out.

[YB*]

As you get comfy in this little haven, kamata hizi



On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Jenny went straight round to visit her grandmother. When she
asked how her grandpa had died, her gran explained,

"He had a heart attack during sex on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Jenny suggested that ******** at the age of 94 was
surely asking for trouble.

"Oh no," her gran replied, "we had sex every Sunday morning, in
time with the church bells - in with the dings and out with the
dongs."

She paused, and wiped away a tear. "If it wasn't for that damn
ice cream van going past, he'd still be alive."

************************************************** ********

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped,
his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and
proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down
to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,

"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she said earnestly.

"Umph, ooh, nnoo, I'll be alright, I'll be fine in a minute", he
replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She
gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she
loosened his pants, and put her hands inside and began to massage
him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?

He replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

************************************************** ********

There was this fellow who got tired of living in the city and
decided that he wanted to live in Alaska as an Eskimo, so he
ventured out into the great unknown.

After a week he found a tribe and approached the chief
proclaiming that he wanted to be an Eskimo. The chief thinking
that the guy had lost all sense of reality, told the man,

"Okay - first you must drink 10 gallons of homemade rot gut
whiskey all at a time with no food or breaks. Then you must go
out barehanded and kill a polar bear. Completing that, you must
return here, and find the oldest, ugliest, dirtiest female in the
tribe and make passionate love to her all night long."

The man agreed and drank all the whiskey, then set off into the
frozen wasteland. The chief figures he's gone for good.

Two days later the man returns. He's a disfigured mess with his
clothes practically gone, and great, gaping wounds. There is not
a spot on his body that is not mauled nearly to the bone.

He staggers to the chief and says, "Now where's that woman you
wanted me to kill?"

[ar_turr]

Lmao @ double barrel @ making love to the bear........good one bro..now my sunday is fyam

[YB*]

Hallo Boys and Gals, I wish you a wonderful week full of prosperity and may God bless the work of your hands (and feet in case you are a footballer).


A nun and a priest were traveling across the desert and realized
halfway across that the camel they were using for transportation
was about to die.

They set up a makeshift camp, hoping someone would come to their
rescue, but to no avail. Soon the camel died.

After several days in the desert heat, they realized that they
were not going to be rescued. They prayed a lot (of course), and
they discussed their predicament in great depth. Finally the
priest said to the nun,

"You know, Sister, I am about to die, and there's always been one
thing I've wanted here on earth -- to see a woman naked. Would
you mind taking off your clothes so I can look at you?"

The nun thought about his request for several seconds and then
agreed to take off her clothes. As she was doing so, she
remarked,

"Well, Father, now that I think about it, I've never seen a man
naked, either. Would you mind taking off your clothes, too?"

With little hesitation, the priest also stripped. Suddenly the
nun exclaimed,

"Father! What is that little thing hanging between your legs?"

The priest patiently answered,

"That, my child, is a gift from God. If I put it in you, it
creates a new life."

"Really!," replied the nun, "Well forget about me. Stick it in
the camel!"

************************************************** ********

The young Swedish au pair had been working for the couple for
over a year. While pleasant and hardworking, the girl still
struggled with the English language.

One day she informed the Lady of the House, that her boyfriend in
the Army was coming for a visit.

"That's wonderful. How long is his furlough?" asked the lady.

"Oh... about the same as your husband's, but a little bit
thicker." the au pair replied.

************************************************** ********

Mrs. Morgenstein goes into Shecky's Deli at 9 am. and asks Shecky
for a dozen bagels. Shecky replies,

"Sorry Mrs. Morgenstein, we're out of bagels till 12 o'clock"

Mrs. Morgenstein is back at 10 am. and asks Shecky for a dozen
bagels, and Shecky answers,

"Sorry Mrs. Morgenstein, we're out of bagels till 12 o'clock."

Again at 11 am. Mrs. Morgenstein goes into the deli and asks
Shecky for a dozen bagels. Shecky replies.

"Mrs. Morgenstein, how do you spell 'cat' as in catastrophe?"

"C-A-T"

"Very good Mrs. Morgenstein, now how do you spell 'dog' as in
dogmatic?"

"D-O-G"

"Right Mrs. Morgenstein, now how do you spell 'fu.ck' as in
bagels?"
"There isn't any fu.ck in bagels" replies Mrs. Morgenstein!

"Exactly Mrs. Morgenstein. Come back at 12 o'clock."

[YB*]

Q. What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
A. Goes-in-tight!

Q. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
A. Gagged!

Q. What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A. A tearjerker.

Q. Define "Egghead"
A. What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

Q. How do you piss off Winnie The Pooh?
A. By sticking your finger in his honey.

Q. Why are cowgirls bowlegged?
A. Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.

Q. Hear the slogan for the Stealth Condom?
A. "They'll never see you coming."

Q. How is a woman like a road?
A. Both have manholes.

Q. What's the definition of a vagina?
A. The box a penis comes in.

Q. What two words will clear out a men's restroom?
A. "Nice Di.ck!"

Q. Why do we have orgasms?
A. How else would we know when to stop?

Q. What's the definition of indefinitely?
A. When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you're in-
definitely!

Q. What do Kodak film have in common with condoms?
A. Both capture the moment.

Q. Mom's have Mother's Day, father's have Father's Day. What do
single guys have?
A. Palm Sunday.

Q. Why is being in the military like a blow.job?
A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q. What's the ultimate in rejection?
A. When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

Q. What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
A. They are both used as substitute meat.

Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A. Brothel sprouts.