[Muthige]

Sasa nyinyi makurungenge, mulienda halafu mkaona nini ?

[Kigan]

My friend. read these like a monk.
Tell tale signs of a Mtu from Majuu anywhere east of Moi avenue

(That is, after you cross Nandos, Hilton, Ambassadeur hotel)

1. Old slang - i.e Ponyi, Mgondi, puru, worse, with a slight tweng.
2. Small dollar wallets.
3. Looking up to synchronise currency values -reflex, but avoid.
4. Looking up to convert weights and measures at the butchery. avoid.
5. Credit cards showing when you open your SMALL wallet. Ziwache home.
6. Shades on your shirt ( clearly hauelewi)
7. Wrist watch ( jaribu)
8. Not bargaining for price
9. Good manners i.e excuse me, where is the dustbin.
10. Holding hands
11. Shades.again ( on your eyes/ forehead/shirt, wherever)
12. Car stickers (clearly, ati Arizona blah blah. Hm)
13. Blackberry and qwerty keyboard phones
14. Blue tooth/handsfree accessories
15. Instinct.
.

No go zones
After 9:30p.m

1.Haille sellassie avenue, past the petrol station.
2.Railway station, opp. the bomblast place.
3.Museum hill and entrance to Kileleshwa frm. wstlnds. (carjacking like a schedule)
4.Near the city centre fire station Hq.
5.Greater Kiambu and it's immediate environs i.e banana, Gacie.

In the heng joint

1. Waiters never give the correct change. never. esp. if tipsy.
2. Always confirm price of drink from menu or supervisor.
3. Always let them open drinks as you watch.
4. Don't accumulate bills/receipts in a glass. Clear as you go on.
5. Do not place your phones on the table. Give it to the lady you came with.

[ShortStoryWoman]

Hi,
Actually the tax/duty relief is for those who have been away for a minimum of 2years and your passport whould be able to show this. You whould also be able to prove that you have been the sole owner in those last 2 years. Once you are able to do this, then customs waives your duty. All you pay is the freight.
As far as what to buy is concerned, I guess it depends on the people you are buying for. As for me, electronics and furniture are easily available in Nairobi and it's outskirts, at very fair prices. Maybe items of clothing could do, then your relatives will have a story to tell, and something to show for it. You know how we are...
Matumbo... 17years! I am never away for a complete year and it kills me. I feel for you. Yes, you will definitely get some culture shock.

[Matumbo]

So i went to Kenya and it was a whole different animal, man i didnt think ati the place had changed that much.
I was talking in swahili and poeple would look at me like which ape taught me swa, plus the clubs were ok.
Kwanza i got to the airport and was impressed, didn really care for nairobi that much spend time huko coast then went to Turkana to see some friends that was something, kun joto sana.
Went to malindi that was good to just relax and have sometime with my parents.
But lakini after a month which is how long i had stayed i was ready to come back.

[ShortStoryWoman]

So when exactly were you back home? Hope you generally enjoyed your stay. I am never away for more than a year so I never get that shock.

[m kenya]

Kigan..
bravo my friend, clap clap clap clap,...
your assesment is sijui 110% corect.
The below two are the worst give-aways
Old slang - i.e Ponyi,(as said in waweshes song. mjanja) Mgondi, puru, worse, in addition, Oboho, ma with a slight tweng.
Small dollar wallets.

[Msesh]

Matumbo, I sympathize. i was away for 20 years when I returned in 2005. The culture shock is acute, but being home is something else. The only thing is one of my relaz gave me the borders I was not to cross i.e. haille S., East of Uhuru Highway,etc. I was even given a car so I could get around, but the driving in NAI is chaos and always watching who's following at night grew tiresome. I actually enjoyed the farm in Machakos and Diani more than Nairobi. Being Kenyan, I love it but as an outsider, it's dirty, dangerous and chaotic. It was sad to leave but I was relieved at the same time. I'm going again this year so it will be interesting to see the changes.

[Omera23]

Definately keep in mind what Kigan said....lol, i was home last year which was extremely fun. But no matter how hard u try to blend in...kenyans have a sense to notice you're not from there or u have been away for minute. Man enjoy ur stay back n believe me they are lots of opportunity to invest....word of advice just be urself when you back.

[StrokeMaster]

Originally Posted by Kigan

My friend. read these like a monk.

No go zones
After 9:30p.m

1.Haille sellassie avenue, past the petrol station.
2.Railway station, opp. the bomblast place.
3.Museum hill and entrance to Kileleshwa frm. wstlnds. (carjacking like a schedule)
4.Near the city centre fire station Hq.
5.Greater Kiambu and it's immediate environs i.e banana, Gacie.

Hapo umenena ukweli. Hapo railways kwanza, kama hujawahi nyolewa bila maji, tembea hapo usiku. Utakiona.

Pia hizi base ni mwadhara. Usidhubutu kutembea hapa:

6. Nyayo stadium roundabout(pale makaburini)
7. Uhuru Park
8. Anywhere East of Moi Avenue especially Tom Mboya St, Luthuli, Nyamakima
9. MACHAKOS AIRPORT.!!!DANGER!!!
10. Areas like ngong, ongata rongai. If you are going to be rolling in a car, be home BEFORE DARK because carjacking here is past salvation.

[Matumbo]

was back in April it was ok, nothing to exciting about it i loved the coast though, went to malindi, that was fun, yep true those fools have a way of telling you aint been around for a minute. Kwanza my swa was so bad could not understand half the time what people are talking about. But home is home. I will go tena after 3 years. Then poeple will ask for kila kitu off you body i came back with some safari boots, and some old jeans i had but gave kila kitu away.
The food gave me muharo like something else, yani i was in the choo constantly. Mutura made it even worse, ni kula like it was going out of style.
Then i went to a church the music was muzuri, i liked that.
All in all i must kenya is the bomb.