[SirViKtor]

1 Robert Wangila Napunyi for proving that you could punch your way into stardom.

2 That barman at Upper Hill for consistent service. Always serves Guinness chilled.

3 Mayor #### Waithika for hitting the ground running and following a great political tradition: when you take office, always take care of your allowances first.

4 Daniel arap Moi for teaching us the value of the statement "we are a soveren state" - cough, cough.

5 Darlin P for reminding us that you are only as good as your last song.

6 Mercy Myra for the consistent ability to look good in constricting fabric.

7 Debra Sanaipei for refusing to bow down to public demands that she should speak less.

8 Gidi Gidi and Maji Maji for proving that you don't have to have movie star looks and a mellow voice to make great music.

9 Dennis Oliech for that long ranger against Cape Verde. Orgasmic!

10 Kamlesh Pattni for his entertaining TV series "The godfathers" that enjoys prime time viewing across all channels.

11 Wambui Otieno for guts. It takes a lot of guts to marry a boy that young.

12 Reuben Ndolo for the statement of the year, "Ukiona wao".

13 Honourable mention to Ugandan women for proving that the problem is not with us. It is our women.

14 The foreign recipient this year: All those expatriates who try to speak slang. It is not cool or hip to say "Niko fit kama ndizi, ndani ya friji".

15 Philip Ochieng for showing that just because you recognise the words doesn't mean you will figure out the message.

16 Ngugi wa Thiong'o. The guy has written a few great books. Who cares?

17 James Orengo for reminding us that foot soldiers are never invited for the victory bash.

18 Patrick Lumumba, aka PLO, for those interesting one-liners, "It is like killing a mosquito with a hammer", and for correctly pronouncing Latin words.

19 Wilson Kipketer for winning a golden medal for us every time he runs for the Danes. That fellow in Qatar too.

20 Mwai Kibaki for tight lip service. That constitution thing was a winner.

21 Maurice Odumbe for retaining the same gold chain he wore when Kenya licked

the Windies God knows when.

22 John Ngugi for refusing to take a dope test on an empty stomach. When you go to Rome, you must do as the Romans do.

23 Baraza, aka jumbo, for exceptional bravery. He was the guy who tried to milk an elephant.

24 Eric Wainaina for showing us that there is a light at the end of the mugithi tunnel.

25 Orie Rogo-Manduli for proving that aggression in men is not genetically predetermined.

26 Rev Timothy Njoya for taking a good beating for our liberation. Our very own Rodney King.

27 Wangari Maathai for looking the part and turning down pleas by beauticians who reassured her that they could locate green lipstick.

28 Martin Shikuku for reminding us that watchmen don't change. People do.

29 David Mailu for all those great raunchy novels that we enjoyed as kids.

30 Mayor Shakeel Shabbir: Always good to see a Bollywood brother in the frontline, especially in Osum city.

31 Kalonzo Musyoka, the closest thing we have had to Clinton without the Monica part. But they had spoil it by asking him to plant trees.

32 Victor Seii for claiming he had lost weight.

33 Robinson Githae for trying to convince an educated public that roast rat, grilled camel, marinated donkey meat don't actually taste that bad. I guess he knows.

34 DJ CK for proving that age is nothing but a number. Young and old must mingle.

35 Chris Murungaru for awakening us to the reality of global warming and teaching us the value of investing in sweat absorbent hankies.

36 Kiraitu Murungi for teaching us the value of public speaking courses. You may be sharp but it doesn't mean you will sound sharp.

37 Edward Clay and his cronies for imperial crap - like the Kenyan ambassador to the US could walk up to George Bush and tell him, "If the United doesn't improve the rights of prisoners in Iraqi, we will freeze all coffee and tea exports to the States".

38 Jimmi Gathu for not losing his temper despite all those pestering callers who think he can solve all their problems.

39 Noel Njoroge for "venture capitalism". He was the first Kenyan in Greenland. He was found out there selling jackets by a visiting Kenyan student in 1975.

40 Ted Josiah for the power of self acknowledgement. Why wait to be recognised for your work when you can do it yourself?

41 Walter Mong'are, aka Nyambane, for showing us that you can make a living fooling around.

42 Prezzo for teaching us never to underestimate the power of a dumb stunt like flying a few metres over the fence to impress the chicks.

43 Paul Tergat for proving that it is possible to run into riches.

44 Raila Odinga for teaching us never underestimate the power of the silly soccer parable.

45 Alex Holi for bringing Johnny Bravo to life.

46 Fareed Khimani for refusing to learn sheng despite catering to an exclusive sheng audience - "That was the Kleptomaniax with Twendlee".

47 Caroline Mutoko for that foot in mouth goof over Martha Karua. For a moment there, we thought she had vanilla-flavoured toes.

48 Ndingi Mwana a'Nzeki for refusing to tell us what really bugs him about condoms.

49 Dr Alfred Mutua, the Government spokesman, for devising a formula that allows him to paid to make that same Government look bad.

50 My mate Tony for threatening grievous bodily harm if his name didn't appear on this list

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