If you want to go on a proper TUSKER RAVE in the most sexy place... Malindi is the place to go.
They have beach front bars which dont have stools . They have lounge seats under the shade of some Makuti. Somewhere in the oblivion some hidden speakers sneak in the soulful.. "Dont worry be happy" by Bobby McFerin and also Boney M hits whic I had long forgotten about.. boat on the river, plantation boy, rivers of babylon etc etc ,.......
.. gals in the skimpiest bikinis swinging the DIABs and size D boobs all over the beach, temperature's about 30 celcius AND the TUSKERS ARE JUST HEAVENLY COLD... DAMN !!!!
...jus close yr eyes and picture me lounging...
http://www.safariline-africa.com/images/pics/S33M.jpg
In the jionis u just WALK into the TOWN clubs... there are NO THUGS, NO COPS to shika or rob you at all.. Its so warm that u just operate in sandals, a vest and shorts.. everyone is loosened up... akuna formality ..from the locals to the foreign tourists .. so we go to this pub called paradise garden or somethin.. ... TUSKER BARIDI !!!! ..aki the women are in some see thru bras... some old .. some young, sumptous diabs ... LAKINI they all look like Kuros when yr sober... baadaye after kindu 10 Tuskers... "Miss Universe" kando...
a kasmall band quietly sneaks in an belts out chakacha hits and the COAST CHICS get down to TINGISA the VIUNOs... JESUS !!!! aki those ones dont have SPINES... I recall my buddy accidentally KUNYWAD HALF another mzungu's booze while craning his neck to see those UNBELIEVABLE DIABs being gyrated in movements we can only dream of....
.. we bought the jungu another booze and apoligized and to our surprise.. the mzungu HADNT even noticed that his BOOZE had been kunywad half coz ata yeye alikuwa ame JAZZishwa na hizo DIABS mbaya
..there is another swahili love song that goes "gari langu gari langu... bla bla nikajenge nyumaba bla bla .." where u have to just look for a mama to dance with.... the the party gets wilder as "IRON LION ZION" hits the floor.. then baadaye Elvis's "JAIL HOUSE ROCK" ... I couldnt believe that the DJ had all those ON LPs (wacha CDs) including Elvis and "The Beatles"...
..kidogo ALA !!! its SUNRISE shyte !!! (I even wonder why we booked rooms.. we should have just kamatad more TUSKERS )...
..yaani we arrive at the hotel literally "shinging shakamsison shongs" and go str8 2 the dining room for breakfast where my buddy calls the manager complains that he asked for "matumbi (eggs) ma mboiro" and the waiter DID NOT UNDERSTAND (coz he is speaking in COAST swahili which is too fast for my blazed buddy) .. he then blurts out.. " hii shai haina mashiwa ya ng'ombe.. hii ni mashiwa ya powder.. .. and the rest of us die in laughter mpaka we cant eat a thing .. much to the delight of the jungus who have woken up for breakfast....
.. kidogo SHOWER, change clothes, pitia the BAR......... TUSKER CANS BARIDI kadhaa !! and we start walking towards the BEACH BAR for the SECOND day of non stop LALES+BALLES+MOZOs IN A ROW... those waiters huko got a taste of what NAIROBI WEST boasts of... "Drunkards who get more sober with every next beer"
DAMN !!!
I'll never forget that weekend...
PS: Karibu all the road signs and menus are in Italian
Ati... Eden Club (..or somethin)
TELEPHONO: 0123 20116
Pasta
Riviolli
Tangetelles
plus alot of other rubbish... no Nyama Choma
...Thank God TUSKER has no name in Italian
Ciao !!
Malindi... raha tupu -
02-19-2003, 03:26 AM
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