[dodie]

When translating to and from a foreign language it is commonly know that the briefer the phrase, the harder it is to translate. Many think that anyone can translate a simple sign. I have been collecting these for years and here are some signs seen around the world for your amusement.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Instructions for using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
IF YOU WANT TO BE COOL IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF

Men's rest room in Japan:
TO STOP LEAK TURN COCK TO THE RIGHT

Hotel room notice, Thailand:
WE WILL EXECUTE YOUR SOLICITORS WITH PLEASURE

Hotel lobby, Bucharest:
THE LIFT IS BEING REPAIRED FOR THE NEXT DAY. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAIDS. THEY ARE HERE TO SERVICE YOU.

Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:
NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.

Air courier office, Copenhagen:
WE TAKE YOUR PACKAGES AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

On the front desk of a hotel, Mombasa:
IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO OUR COUNTRY, YOU ARE TRULY WELCOME TO IT.

On the menu in an Italian restaurant:
The chef will personally after cooking his famous band noodles, try them and then bring them up for you at your table.

In the reception in Greece:
If you kids are a problem to you, just ask at the reception and we will be very happy to get rid of them for you at no extra charge.

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm’s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people’s fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summer’s suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:

Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you’ll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cools and Heats. If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, toote the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well speaking / Here speeching American.

A sign at a riding school in Yugoslavia:
This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother. The Manger.

At a tourist office in Tel Aviv:
Welcome in the Holy Land of Israel - a Mecca for tourists.

At a racecourse in Bahrain:
The racecourse is as level as a billiard ball.

[Man2man]

and how the hell did you visit all these places?... not to mention the tendacy to visit just places with poor translations?...Are you spreading rumours ama you are telling the truth?