[YB*]

As you get comfy in this little haven, kamata hizi



On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away,
Jenny went straight round to visit her grandmother. When she
asked how her grandpa had died, her gran explained,

"He had a heart attack during sex on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Jenny suggested that ******** at the age of 94 was
surely asking for trouble.

"Oh no," her gran replied, "we had sex every Sunday morning, in
time with the church bells - in with the dings and out with the
dongs."

She paused, and wiped away a tear. "If it wasn't for that damn
ice cream van going past, he'd still be alive."

************************************************** ********

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her
ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next
hole.

Indeed, the ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped,
his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and
proceeded to roll around in evident agony. The woman rushed down
to the man and immediately began to apologize. She said,

"Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I
could relieve your pain if you'd allow me", she said earnestly.

"Umph, ooh, nnoo, I'll be alright, I'll be fine in a minute", he
replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still
clasping his hands together at his crotch.

But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She
gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she
loosened his pants, and put her hands inside and began to massage
him. She then asked him: "How does that feel?

He replied: "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."

************************************************** ********

There was this fellow who got tired of living in the city and
decided that he wanted to live in Alaska as an Eskimo, so he
ventured out into the great unknown.

After a week he found a tribe and approached the chief
proclaiming that he wanted to be an Eskimo. The chief thinking
that the guy had lost all sense of reality, told the man,

"Okay - first you must drink 10 gallons of homemade rot gut
whiskey all at a time with no food or breaks. Then you must go
out barehanded and kill a polar bear. Completing that, you must
return here, and find the oldest, ugliest, dirtiest female in the
tribe and make passionate love to her all night long."

The man agreed and drank all the whiskey, then set off into the
frozen wasteland. The chief figures he's gone for good.

Two days later the man returns. He's a disfigured mess with his
clothes practically gone, and great, gaping wounds. There is not
a spot on his body that is not mauled nearly to the bone.

He staggers to the chief and says, "Now where's that woman you
wanted me to kill?"