[grip_daddy]

Still on Ester's post that brought this question, I would like to add to my post above for advice on one element that can be of help in dealing with guilt arising from past misdeeds.

Everyone has a Mr/Miss Right they would want to click with. Most of the times we dont live our current lives to the standards that the Right person would love or consider emulating. So as not to miss the company of this Right, we opt for lies and dishonesty, which would always haunt.

It is important for us to always be who we are, our real selves. I have seen that most people live happily and free with past bad girls/boys, so long as openeness is given its rightful place.

On guilt that you have shared, the word forgiveness is used to imply an understanding from the other party. If I was inhuman, a robber, a rapist, whatever, and before the relationship goes far I want to clarify, I would feel the need to seek forgiveness. This forgiveness is different since it is not really forgiveness per se, but rather I would like to know that my past, however ugly it was, is clearly laid open and the party with whom I'm sharing appreciates it. She might be scared, afraid, disappointed by me, but her forgiveness assurance assures me that after all, I am still accepted.