[Jibril Cessay]

Everywhere I look, I see successful people and my life seems to be one rollercoster of failure and illusions.

How do u find time to love others when no one seems ready to love u? How do u find to lust when no seems drawn to u?

How do u find time to seek God when it seems He forgot you a long time ago?

How do you find peace of mind when pipe dreams taunt u?

How do u end your misery without causing others pain?

Why bother taking anti-depressants while the depression persists?

I'm just curious to see the light at the end of the tunnel cos when I can sleep, I dream of a peaceful life. I wish I knew when success would come my way. Have u ever held a knife to your belly and asked yourself why u wanna do away with yourself?


Church has ceased to be enjoyable and I find it hard to comprehend the Bible. I have strayed away from the tutelage of my pastor who has been a dear friend for the last 2 years.

I don't always enjoy sleep. I find myself constantly waking, wondering where I am. The few times that I was roused at 3am, I picked up a book and read myself to a terse but deep slumber....

Even though I don't believe in religion any more, and still somewhat believe that there is a God somewhere around who has a fetish for experimenting with human life, I'm still asking for your prayers, I'm not in the best state of mind at the moment.