[thierry]

It seems that you are trying to convince yourself that there is no God because you need an excuse to avoid the trappings and sufferings that come with being a christian in todays world. My friend do not be in a hurry to make that decision. I sense some fatalism. Do you think and worry that you might go to hell once you die and thus feel pressure to get "saved "as some form of insurance? Well, i cant really comment on christianity, me being the occasional church goer that i am..but looking at your question, i dont even need to be a deep christian to see your concern.
My advise to you is make the decision to be a christian because you want to make a difference to your life not because of fear of death and the afterlife.

I hope i have helped........ for mine was a shot in the dark.....