[milanya]

I've heard this about a gazillion long distance relationship. I have been in one where it felt like love to end all of loves but it ended. This is how it goes:

When you are parting, it seems so hard, so unfair, 'how will I live', promises of 'I'll write you everyday'

For the first week or so you move mountains to stay in touch, sleep late, wake up before dawn even contemplates arriving, rack up high phone bills, write dissertation-length e-mails etc

Afterwards, life and sacrifices start to catch up with you. Especially if you have time difference between you. So all those late nights and crack of dawns pile up and you are exhausted. One day for some reason or the other, one of you can't communicate. The phone was cut off, it got so late you fell asleep waiting, you were somewhere bila cell signal. You get a good night and realize I can survive 1 day bila talking to you.

Then after this epiphany, everything goes. I'm tired tonight. No vibe. I'm going to a party, no vibe. I don't have time to write a long e-mail, so you get comfortable. All relationships pretty much go through a 'comfortable' stage. You've just got to realize and wake up before it's too late.

The most dangerous thing is when you're in the comfortable stage and then you meet someone of the opposite sex. Who is there to 'comfort' you while you are lonely. This reminds you of what you are missing. The rest is history.

Talk to your jamaa, see if he wants to continue the LDL or not. The fact that he asked you to move in with him indicates that he is not happy with the current situation. It is time to assess your values and make a choice. My personal choice would be to not move in with a man I'm not married to. Why? Because theny you get comfortable and soon you're saying 'Do we need a piece of paper to validate our relationship?' Plus why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? So look at your values and how u feel about him. Perhaps the two of you will decide to continue the LDL and put more effort into it, or you'll decide to live with him, or you could move to the same town or state or wherever to your own place.