[muombaji]

1. It is the country of my ancestors.

2. I was born here and will be buried here.

3. My grand-father fought for its independence.

4. I was educated there. Has the best 8-4-4 system in the world. (Learning under the Tree) yet you can buy certificates or degrees on Luthuli Avenue. Some schools and colleges are located above pubs.

5. There is no curfew on beer drinking, no age restriction either. In fact
it has the most delicious roasted Nyama Choma in the whole World.

6. You work 8am to 5pm Monday thru Friday in a week

7. You can get your drivers licence without ever taking a driving test.

8. You tip the Police when they arrest you with DWI

9. University students can riot just a week before exams and have 1 year of holiday at home to prepare for the exam.

10. Eating Pizza is termed highlife.

11. Anyone can drive a BMW or Benz.

12. It has the Most beautiful Women in the world, and they really know how
to dress.

13. For a Hook up you only need to visit Koinange street or Majengo slum.

14. Hot Tea is compulsary every Morning and at 4 pm in the afternoon

15. There is no difference between graduates and forth form leavers, they all have to tarmac to get a job.

16. Matatus have to play Music for one to board them.

17. The only country that people fear rain. You can spot thousand of umbrellas even when its drizziling.

18. Wednesday is Ladies Night and Friday is Members day. No country can
match that type of partying

19. You can land grab a school compound.

20. 10 bob will buy you lunch. (Githeri and Uji)

21. You can eat your chips standing or sitting.

22. It has 46 tribes.

26. There are no public toilet, one can just go anywhere even under a tree. (Men are best known for this)

27. Ugali is the staple food for everyone.

28. Its ruled by a standard 8 drop outs.

29. Your things can be stolen while you are looking.

30. Cops take 24 hours to get to the incident scene. (They were waiting for fuel for their slow moving Mahindra)

31. You do not have to brush your teeth every morning. (A one shilling rosted Maize Cob can do it)

32. Showering is luxury because there is no water, you buy water 5 bob a gallon.

33. Street boys can threaten you with Human stool and you part with all your money.

34. Husbands are allowed to date and sleep with there Maids. (I'm not too sure I like this one!!!)

35. You can report to work at 8am drop your coat on the chair and return to pick it at 5pm and still get paid.

36. Police and teachers are the least paid professions.

37. You have to attend tuition to make it to a National school.

38. Aids is like a cold or flu. (?????)

39. You know your election results before Campaign starts. (Rigging is the order of the day)

40. It has an Open Air Mall (Gikomba) You can buy anything beside the road from clothes to food stuffs, cars, radios, TV's Tools, and furniture.

41. Its the best place on earth for a vacation. Imagine All those animals, Mombasa and Malindi Beach, the many parks....

42.. You do not have to wait for a new gal to arrive in town to get a girlfriend. Infact guys there do not scrumble for gals, they are everywhere.

42. There are many Kenyans, including your parents and relatives. The best place to spend your chrismas holiday.

43. You do not have to worry about bills, your dad or mum takes care of them

44. You can party with 40 Bob (Just drink Kumi-Kumi)

45. You can swim or fish on the road (Big Pot holes)

46. Mobile phone is no longer a luxury (every one has one)

47. You must know somebody to get employed.

48. If one is deported from a foreign land its the only place they will take you.

49. You can start smoking at 10. (A kid will buy cigaretes or beer provided he/she flashes the money)

50. There are no Back-ground checks or drug screens to get employed.

51. Its the only country with the most beautiful flag in the world.

52. You sleep with chicken, cows, goats and sheep in the same house. Wake up dress in a suit and a tie while smelling like an animal and no one will care.

53. Christmas to New Years is one big drinking feast.

54. You are not obligated to pull-over when a cop on foot is waving at you to stop

55. People enjoy fighting for dead bodies to bury

IKO SWALI!

PS if someone had posted this before then this is a reminder.